Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Taking a break until 2005...

Happy Birthday to Cecille! My dearest dearest friend. My world is a better place because I know you. 

it's that time again:

Christmas Cookie Exchange:

I was really self-conscious because of the tortilla casserole disaster the other night, but last night went much better. I made six dozen frosty snowball cookies, individually hand-rolled in powdered sugar and sprinkles. They were a hit, as were all the Christmas cookies (try this one). Everyone that showed up was Chinese, including 8 kids running around. I haven't been able to experience that in a while, so it was nice. Once in a while you just want to get back to your roots.

Headin' Out and Week 23:

We'll be leaving by lunchtime today for our drive down. I feel bad about Manny driving all those hours because I've been keeping him up at night (but of course, he's all smiles about everything in general, which makes me feel even worse). I haven't slept much since Sunday, because I've been having strong abdominal pains at night. I almost called the doctor Tuesday, but it finally subsided. I think it was because I've been eating large lunches or dinners since Friday (group lunch, Saturday party, Monday potluck, etc.). It culminated in our Christmas lunch at an Indian buffet on Tuesday with lots of curries. I doubled up in pain that night. I think I'd better take it easy with the holiday eating. Oddly enough, I've slowed down in my weight gain despite eating more. I've been a real worrywart about the baby's health - can you tell? When I pray and come to a realization and acceptance, I'm fine, then a few days later it starts up again. I just want her to be alright.

Food for Thought

Christmas Power Point (Click on Merry Christmas)

Christmas party at the Rangel home. More about it below. 

With Ceech, Peg, and families at Chili's for lunch. More about it below. 

the fun has begun:

Yesterday I had lunch Ceech & Jeannie, Peg, and their kids. I had some presents for the kids, but didn't really expect anything for me. I guess I couldn't dodge their generosity (thanks!). What's more fun than being around cute kids? Not much that I can think of. As we were leaving, someone swung the door open and Ashlyn, Peg's daughter, immediately covered Ceech's son to protect him. What a good big sister.

Last night, a group of us went to Israel and Annette's (Izzy and Nutty's) home for a Christmas party. It was a lot of fun, but I don't think I can handle driving in the middle of the night very well these days. Manny couldn't make it because of work, but I'm fine with representin'. He was all set to go, but the lab tool was down all day. One thing I like about us being in the same field is that I understand his job.

I bought a pretty silver and jewel Christmas frame for the exchange. I almost wanted to keep it. I think I got the gag gift, but it could've been a serious gift, so I didn't say anything. :) They had this question book and I think we all know each other a lot better now than we ever thought we would. ;) Roland said I should do a freestyle dance solo for one of our church offerings, which I politely declined.

I was so disappointed in the tortilla casserole I brought. It was a cousin's recipe, but I think instead of flour tortillas, the recipe should've called for tortilla chips or cornmeal. It was all mush. At first I was thinking, "Now people will think I'm an awful cook," but I guess I learn the most when I'm humbled.

Happy Birthday, Gerard (yesterday), Dad, and Salina! 

With Larissa at Stonestown Mall in SF. 

At Gerard's 50th birthday. 

Gerard, Baby Doll, and Francesca. 

Brookdale Lodge. 

Holiday lunch with old coworkers at Fiesta Del Mar. 

weekend

Saturday morning, Manny met with Bryan for bible study and then went to work while I got my holiday haircut. I seem to have a lot of energy these days, so I'm trying to put that into cleaning and reorganizing before it runs out. Saturday night we went to Gerard's 50th birthday at Brookdale Lodge. The directions link from the site took us to Mapquest, which took us on a swervy curvy run all around the mountains. Good thing I had a plastic bag in the car. I was supposed to capture Gerard's surprise, but we ended up arriving half an hour late. Of course, on the way back, we took a different route and cut our commute in half. Sunday after church we met up with Larissa (pronounced Lareesa) in San Francisco. I bought her her gift (purple slippers) on the spot because I didn't know what would be comfortable for her. Kind of a lame thing I do sometimes, but foolproof.

Me, E., and her mom at the Christmas Tea. 

Our table of goodies and mango tea (I crossed out the name). 

do i look fat?

We had a Christmas lunch at Fiesta Del Mar today. One of the topics that someone brought up (not me) was whether I looked fat or pregnant. The consensus seemed to be that I look fat, unless the observer knows in advance that I'm expecting. Something that I've learned over the years is that people aren't very discreet with me. Maybe they think I'm open to all sorts of racial and physical comments, but I'm telling you, MEN, you need to watch what you say to a woman. Stick some Twix in your mouth, like that commercial.

I've never really dieted, probably because I spent a few years starving when my family didn't have much. I have been so tempted to quit eating, though, especially when people tell me, "Wow, you got fat!" And this before I became pregnant, when I was 110 lbs at 5'3" (there, I've told the world how much I used to weigh). I personally don't think that's fat. Sure it's a lot heavier than I used to be, but it's still not fat. One other conclusion I have is that many men won't notice your new hairdo or outfit, but gain a couple pounds and it's a major headline! Read all about it! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that gains it in my face and arms where everyone can see.

On a side note, I think I'll go on some kind of diet, at least watch what I eat, after the baby is born.

Don't take this too seriously. Of course I'm not mad about it and I'm not obsessed with my looks (you can tell, esp. these days). I only feel really hurt when I know people have ill will behind their comments. But I just have to shake my head at some of the conversations I've had (real, not exaggerated):

Me: Hey, B, I haven't seen you in a while [2 years], how have you been?
B: Wow, you got fat!

Me: Merry Christmas. Thanks for having us over!
O: Your face got fat! It's okay on you, though.

Me: There are hardly any macadamia nuts in this macadamias mix.
M: I see you're working on your second chin.

Doctor's Office:
(Me stepping on the scale)
Nurse: Whoa! (and that was all she had to say, while she laughed)

And today:
D: Oh, congratulations, I heard!
Me: Thanks!
D: It's too bad for you. Because you're in that stage where you don't look...well, you look...ff...
Me: Fat?
D: YEAH!
Me: Thanks, D.
(table proceeds to discuss my fatness)

christmastime is here:

Well, Christmas shopping time is here, anyway. I want to take time off work to take care of things, but of course I can't. Saving up that vacation time for my pregnancy leave. I'm not mailing out cards this year, but if everything turns out fine, I'll be sending out the baby announcements in April or May.

Christmas is my favorite time of year, insanity and all. Going to Ranch 99 all year is more than enough preparation for Christmastime parking. (I just realized that Ranch is an appropriate name because you're herded like cattle there) Christmas, to me, is a time for reflection of the year, enjoying traditions with Manny's family, and reunions with old friends. And I've had good memories as well, even before I came to understand the significance of Christ's birth. I mean, we didn't get presents growing up, so it wasn't about that. But I loved the look and feel of the world around me. Light displays, carols, cartoon specials (Charlie Brown Christmas!), playing in the snow with our dog. And I had no idea about the commercialism of the holiday till I was much older. I did get sick almost every year, but at least school was out.

Okay, Christmas Plans so far (would like to see more friends, but we'll mostly be out in San Bernardino County):
Dec 17: Christmas lunch (work)
Dec 18: Gerard's 50th Birthday/Christmas Bash
Dec 19: Larissa's in town!
Dec 20: Israel & Annette's Christmas Party
Dec 22: Christmas Cookie Exchange at Melinda's
Dec 24: Christmas Eve Party
Dec 25: Presents in Pajamas, Visit my parents
Dec 26: Cecille's
Dec 29: See Tedd and Monica before their wedding
Jan 1: Tedd and Monica's wedding

For the cookie exchange, I'm going to try making these Frosty Snowballs. I also need to finalize my lesson on Finances for the Women's Study. What a time to be teaching about that! :)

Manny put up some Christmas lights in our room. I love it. I'm looking forward to getting a tree next year to hopefully signify baby's first Christmas. I'm in week 22 now. I'd like to say time has flown by, but it really hasn't. 9 months seems so long. Maybe it's because I still get morning sickness. But I figure no discomfort is worse than actual labor, so I can't really complain too much. :)

Question for the Sanrio Savvy

This is CoroCoroKiririn. He has a female counterpart. Does anyone know what her name is? This site might help. I got someone a doll of "her," so a name would be good.

Things that start with "S":

Sick:
Well, I spoke too soon. I finally came down with a pretty bad cold. Not being able to take NyQuil, we didn't get much sleep this weekend.

Strange:
A while back I mentioned how a mystery couple accidentally called us and were recorded on our answering machine. Their voices sounded just like ours. Well, they've struck again. The thing is, if they have our number programmed, they must know us, but I don't recognize the voices at all (and I think I'm pretty good at that). We always have to replay it a couple times to convince ourselves it's not us. The last time they "called," the guy said "Okay, okay, I'll take you to Popeye's." While this is something Manny would say, it definitely wasn't us. The sound was more faint this time, but still the conversation was foreign to us. I'm still too cheap to get caller ID.

Super:
I brought my coworker and her mom to our church's Christmas Tea this weekend. They're Albanian, and Mom doesn't speak that much English. But my friend who was teaching English in Albania for two years came back this year and was able to converse with them and make them feel at home. The only reason she's back is because her bf flew out there and proposed over Thanksgiving. (Congrats Colleen and Brad!) I believe everything's part of God's purpose and plan. In Dora's brief message on Christmas, she talked about how when her daughter was young, she would be satisfied with the wrapping paper and the box, not really knowing or caring about the wonderful gift inside. And that's like how many are with the gift God has given to us.

Stress:
This same coworker and I can't seem to get along at work. I think a lot of it is my doing, especially now that she's reporting to me and it's a difficult balance. She and I clash on so many different levels, work-wise, that I have often lost sleep over it. And honestly, I'm pretty mean to her at times about what I perceive as a lack of effort on her part. Aside from that one director that was almost harrassing me for a year, she's been the proverbial thorn in my side. And yet we continue to be friends outside of work. She's had some run-ins with other coworkers, so I probably know a lot more than I should. But at least between us, we continue to forgive each other. Love covers a multitude of sins.

Shady:
I was bothered that the aforementioned director came up to our table during the conference and tried to talk to me. He wasn't invited, but showed up for a free lunch anyway. I'm actually afraid of him, because there's just something creepy about him, like a split personality. You don't know what people like that are capable of and it may be more trouble than it's worth. So I just kept my mouth shut these past couple of years. His true colors came through anyway. There are other directors who told us he should've been fired long ago, but he continues to evade it by running to other groups. Even if I don't expose him, it'll all catch up to him eventually. This guy had written me once about how if he'd gone to Stanford instead of Berkeley, maybe something would've happened between us. Yeah, guy, I'm too clueless to know you're 20 years older than me. Either he's delusional, in denial, or he was testing to see if I knew his age. In any case, I'm keeping my distance.

At 21 weeks (plus I had a large lunch). 

conference/week 21/handwriting

It's a Man's World?:

I just returned from this field engineer conference we held at a local convention center and Marriott hotel. Out of 490 people, I counted only 8 women, including myself. This dichotomy became very obvious during one of the training sessions I had to give. I was sweatin' buckets. Looked like Kevin doing the Levi's pitch on 'The Apprentice,' for those of you who saw his waterfalls. But I got some good reviews. I'm just glad it's done. And another plus was that the women's restrooms were always empty. Poor men -- haha, now YOU get to wait in line!

I think my manager finally spotted my belly during the conference. The dinner plate eyes he had when he glanced down kind of brought me to that conclusion. He's going back to India for three weeks, so I won't have to address it until January. I'm meeting with our human resources rep next week to discuss the plan, man.

Week 21 Update:
I finally felt Baby Hernandez move definitively on Sunday during church. During a reading of Isaiah 58. :) Now I feel her "flutter" everyday, so I don't think it's gas anymore. No kicks yet. One of my coworkers said that the worst time is when they kick your bladder. I'm amazed at how I'm still feeling okay, even though many people who are pretty sick continue to sneeze or cough around me. I'm thankful (and sorry about their illness, of course). My doctor told me not to get the flu shot. Primarily because there isn't much to go around. It's fine, because I have a history of becoming sick after getting the shot anyway.

Write and Wrong:
I was writing a card the other day and noticed how one of my handwritings is so similar to my closest friend's writing. Except the numbers look like your typical Chinese writing numbers, for those that know what I mean. It's not like we copied each other, but it just turned out that way. I'm sure writing has a lot to do with personality, but I do notice a number of "groups" of girlfriends will have similar writing. It was especially noticeable in high school. So this handwriting is sort of my straight up and down engineering handwriting.

The other writing came about because good ole mom wanted me to have more feminine, calligraphy-like writing, so she pulled up a font and told me I had to write like that or else. Or else what? I don't know, but I wasn't about to find out. So I also have fancy-schmancy writing that I'll use for certain occasions. It's kind of like how Manny prints in caps when he tries to write neat. Otherwise it's like total chicken scratch doctor's handwriting.

Toyota's New Toys

These would be cool replacements for wheelchairs, except the one on the left, which looks to be slow. They should make that one ten times larger, then at least it would have an anime feel of destruction and deliverance to it. 

racism and wknd:

Re: 6's comment, Manny usually has a talk with his family later on about the issue, when I'm not around. I appreciate him doing that, because I don't have to feel awkward. I don't want our children hearing that, but if it comes up, we have to teach them not to harbor resentment. That was part of Rick's sermon on Sunday, the church's hand in racial reconciliation. Our church, and the area in general, is a big melting pot of races (vs. the segregated pockets in L.A.), so we might not think we have a problem, but then we have to realize the kinds of thoughts we have if a certain type of person moves into the neighborhood. Or on the flip side, believing our identity is in our race and that we have superiority in that.

Car Trouble, Part 2:
Maybe Rommel's starting to rub off on us. Saturday we had to take Manny's car in for a new battery and coolant system. We won't have another free Saturday for a while, so we did the taboo thing and had the dealer change the tires as well. As I was driving behind Manny, I noticed him swerving to the right. Within a couple hours, his right front tire was flat. There wasn't any obvious evidence of puncturing, so very likely the dealer was at fault. So Manny had to go back again today. I'll be at a conference and Manny has a live customer demo tomorrow, so good thing it'll fixed before then and we won't have to worry about carpooling.

Christmas Shopping:
This year was the worst in terms of my procrastination. Last year I started buying gifts in June (I seem to go back and forth between extremes in many areas of my life). But after running from one crowd to another, we're just about finished. Manny has always noticed children around us, but I noticed this weekend that he was looking at Asian kids more intently, talking about what our kids will be like.

Ideal Job:
If someone were to ask me what job really suits Manny, I'd have to say one of those characters in big costumes, like you see at amusement parks. They don't say anything, they make kids smile, and they often walk funny with their big mid-sections. At Francesca's last roller rink party, Manny wanted to don a Spongebob Squarepants costume and skate around the rink with the kids chasing him. But alas, he will probably be a process engineer for years to come. I guess he could always moonlight.

The Pacifier:

Watch the trailer for the new Vin Diesel movie -- it's action packed.

Yi Li Sha Bai = Elizabeth?

I was listening to Chinese news this morning and they were talking about Fei Lu Jia (Fallujah). I've always wondered if some committee got together and decided how they would translate the names of these places. Because they have to have characters that make sense and match up phonetically (except in certain cases like San Francisco or America, which are just translated as Old Golden Mountain and Beautiful Country).

Entertainer names, too. I remember part of actor Gregory Peck's name (To Kill a Mockingbird) sounded something like "Chicken Butt." But who was it that decided how his name would be translated and what characters would be used? Yi Li Sha Bai is Elizabeth, like Liz Taylor. The name sounds like "one grain of white sand," but I haven't seen the characters, so for all I know, it could be "clothes strength shark white."

There's this site that butchers translates your name. Let me know if you know of a better one. I have a list of Chinese names for the baby, but my mom thought it would be easier if she just named it phonetically based on the first name, like this site does. I guess there's still some time to decide.

Been having problems getting onto blogger. This time I'm keeping a copy so this doesn't get erased again.

Car Trouble:
Manny's car battery died on Monday. I get to be his chauffer for a change. Last night, when we first tried to jump start it, the jumper cables didn't reach. Since his car was blocked on one side, we had to put it in neutral and turn it around. Two security guards came by to see what we were up to. At one point, the clamps touched and sparked a miniature fireworks show. We got it to work. Later we went to Bryan and Orawin's place to get the Sunday School materials and catch up a bit. They had this big stack of games. I could hear Kevin in my head saying, "What is it with married couples and their board games?" :) We made a stop at the grocery store before heading home. It felt like a date for some reason. Maybe we just haven't been out on a weeknight in a while.

Pregnancy Week 20:
Baby Hernandez and I are at the halfway point. I've gained 15 lbs and she's supposed to be about 10.5 oz. I was hoping to feel some movement by now, but I don't think I have yet. I think I felt some "fluttering" two weeks ago, but I thought maybe it was gas (with good reason). And nothing since. I'll ask my doctor in two weeks if there's still no movement. For myself, I hardly ever want to go to the doctor for anything, even an emergency. But for the baby, I want to be in there every week!

The Name Game:
We've started thinking of baby names. I think we have the first name down, but I'm not sure what to do with the middle name. At first we wanted to use my maiden name. Then I wanted to give them Chinese middle names. Now I'm thinking maybe an Western middle name, but Manny thinks a Chinese middle name would be better to remind them of their ethnicity. I'm just not sure. I'm not giving out the potential name(s) yet, but I was just kidding about Beyonce. I'm feeling the pressure from Manny's family to name our kids after relatives as well. I know in the end they'll love them no matter what their name.

The Race Issue:
It kind of bothered me that Manny's grandfather pulled back his eyes, saying that's what the baby would look like. And Manny's dad said if it was a boy, his middle name should be Bruce Lee. They don't mean anything by it, but Asians are pretty sensitive to racial stereotypes and slurs, I think. Some of the things that friends or acquaintances say could easily get them killed in certain circles. Well, that's a topic for another day, but I don't think they realize all the wrath I feel inside for that split second before I realize it's a harmless joke and just smile. Ignore the ignorance. After all, I know his family loves me regardless of what race I am.

and we're back (from a happy and bittersweet holiday):

I walked in this morning and saw a message from one of the vice presidents on my whiteboard: "Amy, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, ___" I have only spoken to him once, and that was months ago, so it was a bit unnerving. I don't trust any male executives anymore. I used to think that they saw us as worthless peons, but now I know some of them see women going up the corporate ladder as easy targets. I had to give an executive-level presentation first thing this morning (which they only told me about Wednesday right before we left). And one of the directors said, "Amy, you have such a nice smile. You should use it more often." I'm thinking that's exactly why I don't want to smile.

Manny finally got some time off from work only to be employed as my chauffeur for the last few days. It took us almost 10 hours to drive down to his parents' home, including the two stops. I am with child now -- I have to stop. The next day, Thanksgiving, we kicked back, watched some movies (Elf was much better than we'd expected), and had a fabulous turkey dinner with all the fixin's. A few of the relatives came over or called, but for dinner, it was just us, the parents, Manny's sister Dahlia (aka Dolly), and her boyfriend. Dolly seems so lively and happy these days. It makes me happy to see her in good spirits. Friday was more of the same. I was too tired to go anywhere. I looked forward to Mona's turkey tacos before we went to my mom's.

I usually say "my mom's" now because my dad isn't there anymore. We didn't see him this holiday. I haven't had a real conversation with him in years. When I was "daddy's little girl," I would have never imagined our relationship would turn out like this. I still have hope. On the other hand, my relationship with my mother continues to grow stronger now that I'm an adult. Now that I have discovered that much of what my father led me to believe about her was all lies. It's kind of funny how much my mom and I hug now. Manny taught us that. He wanted to give my mom a hug, but I told him our family "doesn't do that." But he went for it and it's been all hugs ever since. Haha. :)

Saturday, we also attended Alice and Josh's wedding (some photos below). No flash photography was allowed at the church ceremony. The banquet was excellent. The wedding was beautiful. Except for the ugly photo of me and Manny that they had in the slideshow. But we were still very touched to be included. And I was even more touched by her mother, who walked up to me and thanked me for all I had done for Alice. I kept thinking she was mistaking me for someone else, but she called me by name. I do love Alice, but I really haven't been there for her as I was many years ago. I was really humbled. There is so much more I could and should be doing for others.

Most of our peers at the wedding were a few years younger (Alice was a freshman when I was a senior). Man, what a difference those years made -- I feel old! Haha. And with the excellent 11 course meal including Peking duck, prawns with walnuts, etc, I figured I gained yet another pound, bringing my long weekend gain to almost 4 lbs! Baby Hernandez was a happy little girl! "Turkey for me and a turkey for you, white meat, dark meat, you can't go wrong..." (Adam Sandler)

Alice and Josh visiting our table at the Sea Empress Restaurant in Gardena. 

Amy with Helen, one of the bridesmaids. 

Visiting Alice and Josh at the head table. 

Our annual Thanksgiving feast being cooked up in Manny's parents' new kitchen (the flooring hasn't been put in yet).  

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1789

Just a reminder of the original meaning of the holiday (it's not just Turkey Day, even though I do love a good Thanksgiving dinner):

Thanksgiving Proclamation
George Washington

City of New York, October 3, 1789

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor, and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me "to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanks-giving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness."

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th. day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be. That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks, for his kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation, for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war, for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed, for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions, to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually, to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed, to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord. To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and Us, and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

thankful / cheesecake

Cream cheese finally went on sale this week, so I made a New York-style cheesecake with blueberry topping. Usually a cheesecake like this would cost $25-$30 to make, so you might as well buy one, but with the discount, it was only about $10 (including eggs, graham crackers, topping, etc.). I am so thankful for an oven that actually works after all these years. Now I can feel like I contributed a little to Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Speaking of being thankful, this is a great time to reflect on all that I thank and praise God for, such as:

-The new life I have had since spring 1994. The peace, the joy, the struggles, the growth -- I feel alive.

-Each new day that He works in my heart, humbling me, strengthening me, and maturing me through both joys and trials.

-Christ, that I need not be plagued by the past, lacking in the present, or anxious about the future.

-A husband who amazes me by washing my feet daily, figuratively speaking, without complaint. He makes me think till my head itches and laugh till my stomach hurts.

-The responsibility for this new life inside me and my continued health during this pregnancy.

-This marvelous family we have found in our current church. Diversified in race, socioeconomic status, opinions, and age, but unified in Him.

-Friends who care (and listen even though I ramble).

-My in-laws, who have helped me to understand familial love in a way I had not known before. And my parents, for what I was taught through them.

-His provision for us financially, even when we forget to ask.

And there's so much more. I hope and pray that I would remember all that I have to be thankful for, especially the next time I feel like making a list of complaints instead. :)

Amy and cousin Francesca at the restaurant before heading over to the Mission (which Uncle Gerard paints). 

Birthday boy gets a song (from the band as well as the waiters) and some chocolate mousse. :) 

Manny's birthday lunch at Jardines de San Juan near Mission San Juan Bautista. The picture doesn't do the place justice -- the gardens and music are beautiful. 

Buddy wearing the wrong colors for the Cal-Stanford Big Game. 

success and culture in parenting:

At our parenting study this past week, we went over what parents might consider as "success" for their children and for themselves as parents. The chapter we reviewed goes over several of the goals parents might have: well-behaved children, "saved" children, family time, well-rounded children involved in many activities, social children, education, etc. But these should not be our main goal.

This was a good lesson for me, because just last week I was telling Manny how I didn't get to have piano or sports lessons. And I wanted to give that to my children. But he reminded me that those activities aren't a measure of how good we are as parents. They aren't wrong, just not what we should strive for.

Because the study group is a mixed bunch (5 Chinese, 1 Thai, 3 Caucasians, 2 Mexicans), the topic of our cultural differences came up. Generally speaking, Asian parents are known for desiring a good education and career for their children, sometimes wanting to live vicariously through us. Family is important in the sense that we should not shame our family name. As for Mexicans -- again, generally speaking -- the major emphasis is family in the sense of unity and time together. Education and career take a back seat to that.

As a personal example, Manny's parents were not so thrilled about him going to Stanford. It meant he would move far away. Education was at the bottom of the priority list and people around him didn't know MIT from a CSU. As for me, going to Stanford was the realization of a family dream. Suddenly relatives that never spoke to me (because my dad was the black sheep) were sending me gifts and visiting. And asking why I was only getting a Master's.

For Manny, 90% of his extended family lives in the same area in southern California. They visit and call each other constantly. In my extended family, it is not unusual for husbands and wives to live in separate cities or states for the sake of their careers. None of my aunts and uncles on my dad's side live anywhere near each other.

Manny's parents would have shown him love even if he had dropped out of school. But I got hit or yelled at (my parents aren't Christian) if I came home with even an A-. I only had one A- in high school, on a mid-semester progress report that didn't even count, but boy, do I remember it.

But God's word surpasses all that and makes our marriage work, even with our different upbringings. And likewise as parents, I'm confident it will unite us and make us consistent. It's really amazing.

Happy Birthday, Annette and Colleen!! And Manny, too!! 

chances are:

I'm going to go ahead and say it's a girl. Even though I still have some lingering doubt, it's still most likely a girl. My ob/gyn said that the heart rate was kind of on the border, but still high enough that she would lean toward girl. Everything checked out okay. I've gained 10 lbs so far. Never thought I'd be so happy about that. And I can't believe my appetite this month. Just in time for Thanksgiving!

Today is Manny's birthday! Also a bunch of other people's birthday as well -- Valentine's Day must be a popular time... Last year, I wrote and illustrated a children's book for him about his little quirks. This year, I didn't have the time or creative juices to write part two. Manny and I like to keep our birthdays on the down low. Sometimes I jokingly tell people mine is February 31, but they are quick to write it down or enter it in their Palm anyway. Then I have to feel bad and explain it's just a joke. :)

Left: One of the ultrasound snapshots my ob/gyn took at 10 weeks. Right: The "top of the head" shot at 18 weeks that the u/s technician said we "get to keep." Haha.

second guessing and moving on:

I'm perfectly happy with a healthy baby, whether it's a boy or a girl. But my coworker told me today how they had three ultrasounds, all concluded 100% girl, and the baby came out a boy. I guess I'm still not completely convinced because the technician kept saying how difficult it was for her to tell. Then after several minutes, out of nowhere, she says, "oh, I'm 95% sure it's a girl" without really showing us exactly why. I read that normally, they will show you the "3 lines" to prove it. I'm thinking of not telling people now and just going neutral with the registry. I'm thankful whatever the gender, but partly why I wanted to find out was to plan. So much for that. :) I guess the only way to know for sure is with an amniocentesis, which involves chromosomal analysis. But if all goes well today with my AFP blood results, I won't need one of those.

I had posted an ultrasound film of the baby at 10 weeks, full body. But when we got our 18 week take-home photo yesterday, it was a shot of the top of the baby's head! Haha! I was kind of hoping for something different for the scrapbook, but I guess the bird's eye view is fine. :) If I have time, I'll post the old photo and the new one again.

Manny couldn't believe that I deleted my entire blog, but I guess I'm not very sentimental about my own stuff. I keep cards, gifts, and memories and enjoy looking up old friends, but if it's my own stuff, it's really not a big deal for me to give or throw things away. What can I say, I moved around every few months when I was little. My parents gave away anything I won or received as gifts to other kids. And I've been through some very tough times and turned the page to a new chapter. So as I said before, I really embrace change (except in the cases where it's clearly not a wise decision). And I like to clean. :)

reposting the photo -- orangutan awareness week was last week, i think.