a full father's day (supermanny) weekend:

We had a full and fun Father's Day weekend.  For our celebratory lunch on Saturday, Manny chose Korean tofu and barbecue.  The kids ate much better this time than at the last place we went.  Lucas ate almost the entire mountain of bulgogi (grilled beef) and all his rice and noodles.  The ladies there couldn't resist Isaac and took him from me to enjoy him.  Afterward, Naomi played with a neighbor for much of the afternoon, and I had some quiet time with Manny.    

We had our parent dedication for Isaac at church on Father's Day.  Manny introduced our family, and one of our pastors and his wife talked about the call of parenting.  Then he and the elders prayed over us.  It was really nice.  The kids all did fine, although Naomi wanted to get back to her class.  We had an authentic Mexican lunch with Chris.  I had a beef tongue burrito.  The flavor was good, but I generally don't like my meat cut in small cubes, so I probably wouldn't get it again.  I can eat just about anything except lettuce and raw fish/meat.  We had some meltdowns, and I am still having to feed Isaac in the car.  Please pray he'll start taking a bottle!  It's very challenging to be out with the three kids, especially on my own, and have to nurse him in public.  

Manny and Chris then went to see Man of Steel while I went to a pastor's (the same pastor who did our dedication) gender reveal party for baby #4.  He has three girls already, and they decided to find out their youngest's gender with the rest of us.  The workers at the party store filled the pinata with candy and kept the gender a secret--the candy would be all blue for a boy or all pink for a girl.  Naomi guessed girl and Lucas and I guess boy.  The kids pulled the strings, and one finally opened the cupcake pinata to reveal...it's a boy!  I thought it was a fun idea, and Naomi and Lucas got to have a lot of time at the park, much to Isaac's chagrin.  I was really impressed to see Lucas trying to resolve an issue with a boy who was purposely hogging a climbing wall and physically kicking other kids, including Lucas, out of his way.  Lucas asked nicely, used his words, tried to be patient, used his words again, tried to go around the boy, etc.  I came by and let the boy have 10 minutes before I told him I had to get his mom, something I really try to avoid.  He denied everything but was promptly taken home.  

After returning from the movie, which I don't think he liked as much as the original, Manny was ready to see his gifts. Naomi made Manny a homemade card and also a family project that included tracing all our hands (except Isaac's; we drew his hand).  I made a photobook for Manny of our last trip to Disneyland--a vacation he planned--as a thank-you for being such a great dad.  I wanted to do something including Isaac, but time only permitted a customized photo card.  I sent a different one to my father and my father-in-law as well.  My dad and I aren't that close, but I will always appreciate that when he was around, he did the "man stuff" with me like fixing things or fishing or playing shooting games.  I never felt confined to a certain femininity, got to broaden my horizons, and it helped me understand men better.  My mom didn't want to teach me to sew, knit, and cook (but I did learn cooking from watching her at a distance), because school was more important.  I could use some of those skills now, but I don't mind being a bit of a square peg anymore.

Happy Father's Day, Papi!  There is no question who the father is.  :)

Aw, I hope we'll always love like this.

Tofu House!  Oops, I'm not familiar with Manny's phone and snapped the photo mid-smile.

He probably ate almost a pound of bulgogi, no exaggeration.

We're tired, but we love our little family.

The kids and Manny went to Chris and O's to help with furniture delivery and found the perfect cookies waiting for them!

Hello Kitty for Naomi, and a baseball for Lucas.

Parent dedication.  We look awkward, but we were really excited about it.

At the Mexican restaurant.

Blue bags for boy, pink bags for girl.

Lucas proud to do everything at the playground all by himself now.

Naomi pulling the string on the pinata.

Naomi worked hard on her card and project for Manny.

Looking through the photobook together.

visits:

This month started off really busy, but we were blessed with visits from friends and helpers in the afternoons.  Lucas especially likes and perhaps even needs that break in the day and having someone new to play with.  Naomi usually goes to her room and lets Lucas get all the attention.  I don't mind that she doesn't get as much time with the visitors because she has a lot of her own friends to play with, but Lucas doesn't. 

One week we had four visitors, including a family who took Naomi to their complex to swim, her first swim of the year (that's why she was wearing a rashguard in the tomato photo).  I'm grateful for those who've held the baby for me even for a little bit so I could be free to take care of other things around the house.  I don't mind Isaac's crying when I put him down for a while, but then he becomes harder to settle for feedings and naps as it escalates.  We also got to go out to lunch with a couple families that weekend after church.  It was the most relaxing meal we'd had in a while.  Manny and I are introverted, but introverts appreciate people as much as anyone else.  We've been really blessed by the relationships we have.

With Miss D.

Miss L.

Naomi with R and A.

potted tomatoes:

My father-in-law planted tomatoes in our pots, and Naomi's been watering them.  I'm the only one around here who really likes fresh tomatoes, especially home-grown ones, but we can always use tomatoes for our recipes.  One of the plants seemed to be yellowing, but it also produced our first red fruit.  They taste wonderful, as expected, and I can't wait for more.  They are standard-size tomatoes.  Naomi and Lucas picked the first batch.  Thank you, Grandpa!

I remember as a kid, we had a garden, and the tomatoes were huge to me.  Our plant yielded the first nightmare I can recall--one of the tomatoes grew larger and larger until it squashed me under it.  I'm not traumatized by tomatoes, though.  I do wonder if I had some trauma with iceberg lettuce, though.  It's the only vegetable I just don't like at all.

looks don't matter, right?:

Do looks matter?  We say they don't but we know they do, at least a little.  There was a lot of discussion when that Dove commercial came out.  I was sort of neutral toward it--it still deemed appearance important, they didn't use anyone who was very unattractive, and I think the compliments the subject received were typical polite remarks for a public interview.  I also have a different life experience.  Others have actually been more critical of my appearance than I am, and I've faced a lot of racism, which isn't explored in the ad.  But I got the general idea.  I liked this men's parody more.  :)

I've contemplated this in conversations with Naomi.  I tell her that when it comes down to it, people can be blessed with physical beauty, but it does not make anyone superior to anyone else because there is no partiality with God (Rom 2:11), and though man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart (1 Sam 16:7).  Charm is deceitful and (outer) beauty is vain (Proverbs 31), and we have to be more than our hair or jewelry (1 Pet 3:3).  If women look our best to honor our spouses or not be distracting, that's fine.  If we do it for vanity or because we think that's all that we have going for us, it's not fine.  It's like money--having it isn't what matters as much as how you view and use it.

I don't want her to want to look at dolls or actresses and think that's the standard.  I don't want her to dwell on comments from others about her skin being dark or how skinny she is.  I don't even want her to put too much weight on compliments.  However, I do tell her she should care about her hygiene and her health, about whether her apparel is modest and not too distracting, and to smile in pictures when appropriate.  All of that does play into appearance, but hopefully does not build vanity.

What about looking good to be attractive to the opposite sex?  Studies show that men are very visual (and we probably don't need studies to tell us that).  I think when you're married, it's thoughtful to look decent for your husband.  It's good even when you're dating/courting, although after marriage is often when men will tell you they like you with more/less make-up or longer/shorter hair.  He shouldn't force it on you, but being attractive to your husband is a good thing.  But he also ought to love you however you look.  You can't help getting older.

I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to my looks, I think.  I was always the ugly kid to my parents, my extended family, my friends, strangers.  If I could have hidden behind a mask, I would have.  I never understood it, because when I saw myself in the mirror or in photos, I didn't think I looked that bad.  But "you're so ugly" or "you're weird-looking" was something I heard all the time, probably daily.  My parents said some terrible things.  Kids at school would make fun of me constantly.  In junior high I got an expensive perm, and I knew I looked weird.  In high school, I tried wearing make-up, but people would say I looked like a clown.  I have had really bad skin since childhood, and even my good friends joked about that.  I tried everything from magazine tips to dermatologists, but I resigned myself to being a nerd with glasses, short, unattractive, and just unable to look good.   In college, a male friend just blurted out to me over dinner, "You're not cute.  Not cute at all.  But you have a really nice personality."  I don't think I'm so nice now, but I guess I used to be a pretty nice person.  At work, guys told me I looked fat or had huge shoulders.  Um, thanks.  But it's what's inside that counts, right?  Yet when I looked at the head honchos in our company, many of them were fairly attractive, fit, tall, etc.

I know some of it was that I was "one of the boys," but I just didn't understand why people thought I was so hideous or why they felt the need to tell me all the time when I couldn't do much about it. I guess I just look like a person who can handle comments like that, but inside I felt awful.  Somehow, though, I still managed to attract some guys.  Was I really ugly or not?  But one male friend told me guys like smart girls; they just don't always admit it.  I'm not a genius, but I do like to learn.

The first time I remember someone telling me directly that I was pretty was in junior high.  It was my history teacher, and I don't think she meant it.  I was upset at how the rich, white kids in school were able to produce better projects for a WWII assignment.  I told her so, so she slathered me with compliments to make me feel better.  It was still really nice to hear, even if I didn't believe her.  I did work hard in high school to become physically fit at least.  I was pretty thin, but to my Chinese aunts, I was fat.  I despised those comments more than the unattractive ones, and I've refused to ever diet.  My aunt told me I was fat after I just had Naomi!  I've always been pretty skinny by Western standards, but not Asian ones.

When I met Manny, I think that was the worst I'd ever looked.  I had no fashion sense either, and couldn't afford anything anyway.  I actually wore my brother's jacket and pants at the time.  Anyway, Manny called up his friend and admitted I wasn't very good-looking, but he was still somehow head over heels for me.  I chalk it up to God moving his heart and that what is meant to be is meant to be.  Usually people hook up at about the same level of attractiveness.  But there was that song I heard sometimes--"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..."

I wouldn't say it was like the ugly duckling, but I made an effort for Manny.  I put on my contacts, bought some clothes, dyed my hair.  I don't think I realized that I could clean up pretty well till I'd met him.  We went to a wedding and overheard people saying they didn't recognize me, that I looked pretty.  At the mall, some teens said we made a really cute couple.  I don't actually like the way I looked on our wedding day, too made-up, but I think I did alright for a few years after.  Then came the kids and years without sleep and hitting my late 30s, but I do want to look better, and at least be healthier.  I was hoping I'd be able to hit a salon finally in the fall once both kids were in the ISP class, but it wasn't to be.  Anyway, it's like the clean house.  It'll come again, but in the meantime, just keep up the little you can.  And work on your inside; it'll become your outside as people get to know you (I need to remember that!).

isaac, 2 months old:

Turning two months.  Our kids sure do look alike.

Isaac turned two months old on Memorial Day, but he didn't have his appointment till this week.  He's slowed in growth, even losing a little weight for a couple of weeks.  I've tried supplementing, but he refuses the bottle from me.  Manny has to work a lot, but the doctor suggested he try giving a bottle to Isaac once a week, so he can do it during the weekend.  He is still growing at a satisfactory rate.  He's now 12 1/2 lbs (29th percentile) and 24 inches (66th percentile).  Average head circumference.  He holds his head up well, especially during tummy time.  They say Asians and Hispanic babies are often lower on the growth chart, so I'm not too concerned about the percentile, just the dip in growth.  My milk supply seems to be diminishing at times, probably because I'm so busy and tired.  I'm still taking supplements.  I would like to at least make it to six months (but I definitely don't want to nurse till they're two years old like I did with the other two).  The AAP is now recommending breastfeeding for the entire first year.

Isaac is a pretty alert and expressive baby, similar to Naomi.  The doctor thinks he's colicky because he's inconsolable even when I hold him, but compared to Naomi's 5-10 hours of daily screaming, I think he's fine.  Isaac can laugh now, which is really fun.  He also likes to frown at and study his feet.  He pulls his hair a lot, often with both hands.  He seems to try to imitate our mouths when we talk to him, and he also seem to treat us all differently.  For example, he constantly grabs at and holds on to Naomi when she's near him, but appears to push Lucas away (Lucas can be a little invasive or rough with him).  I know that sounds unrealistic, but it's happened so many times and we've all noticed it.  He does still smile at Lucas often.  He smiles the most at the sound of Naomi's voice, and also coos a lot with Manny.  I don't think it's coincidence he'll have a bowel movement when they're holding him.  Babies will go anywhere, but maybe he's relaxed with them or it's the way they hold him.

He's been pretty miserable these past couple of days following the vaccinations.  He was up every couple of hours last night.  He isn't sleeping through the night yet, but that little sleep is unusual for him.  Thankfully, between all the crying and missed or shortened naps, he musters some smiles for us.  I'm debating the second and third doses of the rotavirus oral (and live) vaccine.  His stomach is continuously gurgling and he wails with a pain cry.  He has diarrhea and it really smells bad as well.  I know the alternative is worse, but I have my reasons for not wanting to get this particular one again.  But he'll get all the other ones, and we'll probably delay the MMR.  I think after he turns six months, I'll see about spreading out the remaining vaccinations.  I sure didn't miss this part of the baby days.

Contemplating.  He's not a fan of the camera.

Pulls at his hair a lot.

Always smiley with Naomi to the point of drooling.

Happy boy right before his appointment.  Then not so happy after that.

life online + end of school year:

It's hard to talk about fun things when friends and family are ill and suffering.  It's a strange dynamic with kids--when faced with tragedy, you tell them about suffering, you spare them the gory details which they wouldn't understand, you might pray together, and then you move on to baking cookies and laughing at childish things while your heart is still grieving.  

I feel conflicted sometimes in social media, especially FB (or should I say FB-I now that the Fourth Amendment has exceptions?).  I don't post much, but when I do, I like to post happy stuff and thank-yous because it takes less time and energy than posts that would add drama to people's feeds.  If I can't think of how to word something in a minute or so, I don't post it.  On the other hand, posting as I do can feel a little shallow or superficial, or I might feel like I'm rubbing in how good my life is while there's all this trouble in the world.  I do sometimes have to post pleas for help or prayer, like when my brother had gone missing, but I prefer to just read updates and comment directly (PS:  Really not a fan of how FB advertises my comments).  There's little I want or need to say in mass communication.  My "list" all know I'm Christian and where I stand.  I prefer talking to people directly over repeatedly posting "Repent, ye sinners!"  I have friends who sort of do that, others who just post photos of their coffee, others who post brain teasers, and still others who ask for responses to deep, thought-provoking questions.  I appreciate the variety (except the P's:  propaganda, politics, and potty photos), although I do sometimes have to scroll past posts when I'm very short on ti,e.  I'm on FB for my friends, not for me.  I closed my account once, but FB was replacing email for some, so I went back.  As for recording life, I will always prefer blogging over posting on FB because my audience is not obligated to read this.  

So, Naomi is done with the ISP, and our last parent-teacher conference went very well.  For Social Studies, she wrote a short report on Japan and a nature haiku, did a short report on our field trip, showed them her own version of a Faberge egg for our study of Russia, and she amazed the teacher with her self-editing skills.  Her writing and math skills are good, and she is doing better with science facts.  She likes experiments and write-ups, but unlike when I was her age, she does not like to absorb facts as much as creating and designing.  She would prefer to write an essay about her opinion over spitting out trivia.  So the Classical cycle is going by the wayside even more, since that methodology assumes children will be better at just learning facts and rules in the Grammar stage and progress to thoughtful arguments in the Logic and Rhetoric stages.  We will still incorporate Classical education where we can (our curriculum combines Classical, Charlotte Mason, and unit studies), but I don't want to discourage or stifle Naomi's propensity for questioning and discussing simply to adhere to the stages.  On the other hand, at times I do wish she'd be more academically "absorbent."  

We still have two weeks to go, and then we'll take a break.  I plan to do some minimal review and projects in the summer, but I think it's good for her to have her summertime fun.  Lucas will continue with his writing lessons to prepare him for joining the ISP in the fall.  The kids will have different instructors now that Naomi's entering the third grade.  The teacher and principal are former public school educators who have been with the program for nine and eleven years, respectively.  I will have to switch between the kindergarten and third-grade hats in the fall.  So far, it seems doable, albeit requiring some juggling skills, especially with the baby.  

We've worked hard to get back to our routine, and I'm glad Naomi only missed a couple of classes.  The class did a play, "Briar Rose," which I unfortunately had to miss because I didn't want to add Isaac's crying to the soundtrack.  Naomi was one of the fairies.  She saved one of her sandwich cookies for Lucas.  We baked them together, and then she frosted and rolled them in sprinkles herself.  They were a hit with the class, but I thought they were a little gross.  I'm not a huge fan of super sweet or artificial stuff, I guess.

The week after the play, the ISP held the annual graduation at the park.  It was a very sunny day.  Isaac cried but was able to fall asleep, Lucas took a couple of hours to warm up, and Naomi and her girlfriends were hanging out at their hanging-out spots throughout the park.

Funfetti sandwich cookies for Naomi's class.

Naomi in front of the scene painted by the older students.

Happy Isaac (very rare in the car seat).  Naomi's bracelet is from Senegal.

Fun at the park with her three girlfriends from the ISP.

The class with their teachers.

Bye-bye, second grade!

Lucas got to have some cake, too.

children's museum / late nights:

A friend sent us tickets to a children's museum for Naomi's birthday.  The expiration date was June 13, so we just played it by ear and went when we could without telling the kids ahead of time.  Naomi would have preferred us tell her, and I understand that, but Manny doesn't want to set them up for disappointment if we end up not making it, and I understand that, too.  Anyway, we ended up going Memorial Day Weekend.

The night before, I encouraged Manny to go see Iron Man with Chris.  He needs breaks, too, and I thought it would be a nice to kick-off to the three-day weekend.  I also wanted to try to have more time with him during the weekend.  Our schedule can get crazy.  I don't feel like there's a steady routine for us yet (or anymore).  Manny has been getting home so late on a regular basis, overloaded with work. I get the kids to bed, and he'll come home an hour or two later, and suddenly they think it's time to party with Papi.  I had come to the point long ago where I actually felt fine on my own with the kids.  It was busy, but I was enjoying it.  But adding a baby of course changes the dynamic.  Manny's work is not easy on him either, and I want to help him as much as I can.  I'm really blessed and love the kids to death, but I'm just feeling my age.  Right now the baby is in the room with me, but I'm about to move him to another room just so he won't be awakened as easily.  But I do enjoy even the challenges just because I know this will likely be the last time through all these infant stages.

There was a good variety of exhibits at the museum.  Lucas had a good time.  Naomi would probably have preferred to go with friends, as we did the last couple of times, but she made the most of it.  I carried Isaac around in a sling, which is fine especially if he falls asleep but made it harder to take photos.  I have shaky hands, especially when I'm tired (which is all the time lately).  I need to work on it, because I feel about all the blurry photos of Isaac.  The big room was closed as they prepared for the Curious George exhibit, so Naomi missed her room of giant foam blocks.  Lucas has a thing for pedestrian crossing lights lately, especially the timer countdown type.  There's an area with actual traffic lights, even plug and play ones, which might as well be paradise to him.  He might have stayed in that section till closing if we let him.

Lucas enjoyed crossing the street numerous times.

The bubble area used to be Naomi's favorite.  It's a little sad to see her lose some of that wonder.

Naomi in the garden.

  

Lucas always enjoys the vortexes.

Our first time in the art room.  Naomi using clay mixed with water and charcoal to create a cave painting story.  She said she painted a friendship scene, but didn't want to share more details.

Lucas's favorite exhibit.

Lucas discovering the zoetrope.

awana awards night:

We are close to the end of our school year.  We have three weeks left in our curriculum after our brief hiatus.  Our classes and activities are mostly over, and new ones will begin.  It's nice to be out in the sun again, except when it's too hot.  The weather is wacky.  Our laundry can have tank tops in the same load as sweatshirts.  

I finally got the kids haircuts before the AWANA awards ceremony.  They were overdue for trims, and Naomi really wanted me to cut her hair.  I used to cut everyone's hair, even my own.  But with the way things are, some things had to give.  First I stopped cutting Manny's, then Lucas's, and Naomi agreed to it this time, too.  Maybe I'll go back to it when Isaac is older.

I had wanted them to get cuts when Manny was off work, but time was precious and spent elsewhere.  Isaac cried off and on for an hour at the salon.  He doesn't cry for the first five minutes with a pacifier, but then he gets tired of it.  I don't mind the crying that much, but I know it can bother other people.  Then we had to go to speech therapy, so that was another hour or so of crying.  Nowadays, I take a nursing cover and feed him in the waiting room before the male teenage client shows up.  Isaac doesn't want a bottle from me.  I'm still going to try to see if I can get him on a bottle eventually.

There's a lot I want to say about being a mom of three now, but when it comes to blogging, it's hard.  Or at least it's trickier now because I have a lot of things to consider before publishing it and am short on time.  Back when I was using diaryland and xanga, it seemed like a free-for-all, and my mind was less mushy.

Anyway, AWANA is over till September!  I'm proud of Naomi for trying to squeeze two years' worth of verses into one.  I'm also proud of Lucas because he didn't really want to be there but made the most of it (most of the time).  

I was just a chauffeur for the kids, but it was an hour of driving each week and not always easy with the other needs of the day.  But I'm glad the kids went, and I welcomed the time to catch up with friends.  I do miss the old AWANA and either working in the nursery or being at the women's bible study, but this worked out well with the baby.

Cute hairclips.  Lucas was finishing up when Naomi sat down.

They put a bow and glitter in her hair.

Last night of Awana--the Cubbies got to play in the bubbles.

Isaac looking up at the church's ceiling.  He didn't fuss--yay!

Sparks graduates (Naomi's in the back row).  The kids performed songs and received individual awards.  Lucas wouldn't go up with his Cubbies group or when his name was called.

Celebrating with ice cream (or ice cream toppings).

That's it for Sparks.  On to T & T this fall!