visit with our friends in the music biz:

After the fire station field trip, I picked Naomi up from school, and we went to meet up with friends who were in town on business.  I feel uncomfortable bringing the kids with me, even though my friends have a kid, but I just do it and hope for the best, because it's worth it.  The kids all had their moments, but they were generally pretty good about having to be there with little to do but have a few sips of boba and hear their mom blab about life.  Naomi was especially helpful in hanging out with their daughter.  

They are artists/musicians known well in the Asian Christian community, but I think it's a challenge for Asians to cross over into the mainstream in the U.S.  They made a fascinating documentary short called Finding Cleveland which has won or been nominated for several awards.  They are working to turn it into a full-length documentary.  In addition, they have several speaking and performing ministries, including Larissa's work with mental health and suicide prevention, which is of course near and dear to my heart.  If you are interested in supporting their work or having them speak or perform at your church, let me know.  

Larissa and I went to school together.  I'm always thankful that she makes time for us.  I help out with posting their scheduled events, and her schedule is crazy.  Maybe that's why we didn't realize they hadn't met Isaac, and I hadn't met their daughter yet.  The years go by quickly, and I'm thankful we've been friends for 20 years now.  I also feel a little unworthy of her friendship, though I know that's silly.  She and her husband are usually off traveling to churches and conventions, writing music for or hosting TV shows, interviewing, and walking red carpets.  I don't have any idea what that lifestyle is like, but it makes me appreciate even more the efforts she makes to meet up with us when we are able to cross paths in person.  

They managed to get everyone in the shot once Lucas popped out, much to his chagrin.

fire station field trip with our new group:

The boys and I went on our first field trip with some other members of our new homeschool support group on Friday morning.  The tour was very well-organized, engaging, and interesting.  It lasted about an hour and a half.  They accommodated us well, considering the larger-than-expected number of kids.  Lucas was a little nervous at first, but once we got started, he felt very much at ease and participated more than I've seen him before.  The group is very large, but I heard that it's usually the same groups of people who participate in the various events, so I've made some new friends.  Hopefully that will help the boys make new friends as well.  Several of my friends are in a different homeschool group, but this one seems to have a lot of members and events more local to us, and we need that, especially with Naomi in school and our full schedule.

Lucas said he learned how to put out a fire in a pan, how you don't use ice but cool water to treat a burn, and how firefighters usually stay at the fire station for two full days and then go home for five days (unless they get called away to a larger fire, like the many wildfires currently burning in our state).  He said he already knew the other safety rules about earthquake and fire from me.  :)  Lucas usually finds retaining and reciting information very challenging due to his auditory processing issues, but I was pretty impressed that he really tried to listen and learn this time around.  Isaac also was okay for an hour, but started getting pretty tired after an hour and a half.  Both boys woke up early that morning, so I expected some tantrums, but they did great.  We had a non-stop day till that evening, though, so they were overtired by that night and didn't sleep well.

One thing I haven't tried that they recommended was to have a drill where I blindfold the kids and see if they can get out of the house, and eventually to the safe spot, without being able to see anything.  Another tip they had was for the kids on the second floor to learn to open their window and throw their stuffed animals or any kind of toys out.  The child should then get down on the ground next to the window.  The firefighter would then be able to determine where the child is and pull a ladder right up.  This actually saved one child's life.  He said that often they are able to save the children, but they lose the parent who goes back in to try to save the child or the pet.  I imagine it would be so hard for me not to run back in, but I have to remember it might do more harm than good.  They also covered fire alarms, earthquakes, and even the jaws of life.

Some of the group stayed to ask questions or have lunch at a park nearby.  We had to leave, but it's funny because the GPS sent us in circles, and I ended up back at the fire station three times.  I finally turned it off and just headed home based on how I got there (which wasn't successful either--the GPS sent us to the neighboring college, but we thankfully found it).

Introductions to the firefighters and their standard operating procedures.  They have a clock that tells them how fast they are going.  They must be suited and in the fire engine within a minute.

The firefighters' lounge, much like the one at our local station but newer.  Lucas in green.

Three fridges for the three rotations of firefighters, with some lessons in kitchen safety.

Watching the firefighter sliding down the pole.  Lucas made his way to the front, something he doesn't do often.

The fireman demonstrates how he puts on his gear.

What's inside those doors on a firetruck--hoses, water, gauges, first aid for medical calls, tools such as axes, etc. all part of the 40,000 lb truck, and that's not including the water tank.

Lucas' smile says it all!  Isaac looks like he's singing something, and he probably is.

mini golf:

Even though the kids have started school, it still feels like summer.  We were hoping to get to the beach or the water park we go to every year, but Naomi was still not feeling 100% on Saturday.  So instead we went to brunch and then to Target for the last of the school supplies.  Manny and I were happy to have a Saturday like this for the first time in a long time.  I had a number of things to take care of afterward.  The next day started out rough but got better.  After church, we took the kids to Wendy's and then Manny surprised everyone with a trip to the Golfland.  Even though Isaac is free, we've never taken him.  I dropped Naomi off there twice this summer, and I always felt bad when I told him he couldn't go.  He was so thrilled when we pulled up I wish I had a photo.  Afterward, he said this was his favorite place.  I didn't take very good pictures this time as I had a lot of distractions (mainly being nervous about making people behind us wait) and was also playing, but here are a few.

Isaac got to go first.

We bent the rules a little for him.  :)

Trying to get all three to smile.  Grandma bought Lucas two pairs of sunglasses, but he refuses to wear them anymore.  And his hair grows into a natural mohawk two weeks after getting it cut.

He tried, and his siblings were patient.

first day of school:

Lucas started  on Monday and Naomi on Wednesday.  Naomi actually taught Isaac preschool on Monday as well, and now he's disappointed I'll be teaching him the rest of the way.  The details of Lucas' homeschool journey will continue to be documented on our private homeschool blog, but I'll post significant events here on the main blog sometimes.

Lucas' first day went really well and he gave it his all, but by the second day he was already feeling done.  I think some of that is because Naomi was able to take Isaac away the first day, but the next day Isaac was with us, and Lucas was fixated on everything Isaac was doing.  It reminds me of how my brother was when I was young.  You'll see photos where he's giving me a glare instead of looking at the camera.  When I was too playful, my brother couldn't really stand it, and I see some of that in Lucas.  I'm addressing it now so that Lucas learns to put his focus in the right place.

Naomi's first day went well, she said.  She was just a little disappointed that her friends were only in one of her classes, the 7th grade math class, but she agreed she'd be able to make new friends.  She likes her teachers.  She's in advanced Social Studies and English classes.  We did both consider the fact that it might be an easier A not to do that program, but the payoff would be more challenging classes.  All her homework assignments are now online, so I can see what she has due the next day, what's being served in the cafeteria (she's bringing her lunch for now), and when she has to bring swim gear for P.E.  The school actually has a swimming pool and a nature center.  It's a pretty crowded school, but it's in an area largely populated by tech employees and known for strong parental involvement, so I assume they receive sizable donations from the community, which helps.  I'm here buying these school supplies and remembering when my parents couldn't afford mine, and I lied about it because I was so embarrassed--the kids here have it really good.  

He's officially in the second grade, but I hardly ever go by grade levels when teaching the kids.  I got all the wall posters for free from other homeschoolers.

Naomi teaching Isaac the lowercase letters, which he's known for a while, but he doesn't know all the sounds yet.

Visiting campus the evening before to find out Naomi's first period teacher for the first day.

First day of school!  She wanted to wear my hoodie and make her hair wavy.  

Naomi's still coughing, but she was well enough to go to school, thankfully.  I am not an anti-vaxxer, and we've done all the legal requirements for school, but anecdotally, many times when any of us have had shots, we became unusually sick afterward.  How did Isaac get the mumps after getting his MMR booster?  I'm not sure I buy what the doctor said (that it was some other strain of mumps not covered by the shot).  Naomi likewise got shots a few weeks ago, and then she became very sick the week after and hasn't fully recovered.  She's usually over her illnesses in a day or two tops.  While I will get the shots for the kids, especially for the sake of immuno-compromised children, I decline or postpone them whenever I can.  

go fly a kite:

I used to say "Go fly a kite" was the nicest insult there is, because that's pretty much what I'd rather be doing than being in conflict with someone.  But I had a not-so-great experience Sunday, and now I feel a little like Charlie Brown and his kite-eating tree.  

Sunday started out okay.  The sermon was really good--so full of lessons that I think if I go back and listen to it again, I'll pick up even more each time.  One of the passages the pastor mentioned was when Jesus went to Simon the Pharisee's house, and a woman, likely a prostitute, came in uninvited and wept at Jesus' feet.  We were reminded how God's grace is so beyond us--we aren't the ones to determine who will or won't receive Him, or worse yet, who deserves it.  After all, no one deserves it.  Jesus told the parable of the two debtors and said to Simon, a member of the religious elite and said, "When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?” Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.” (Luke 7:40-50)

That was a reminder that I needed.  Recently I'd mentioned to a friend how a couple I respect said they would not want their kids to marry someone not raised in a Christian home.  Those people would bring their baggage into the relationship.  All their kids married relatively young, so I can see why he would want to protect his children, but without realizing it, he was basically saying Manny should not have married me.  In all honesty, I do think I brought some of my baggage and ignorance into marriage and parenthood, but I also trust in the Lord's grace, even when I've failed.  I do sometimes wonder if Manny looks down on me a little, too.  I walked out of church so thankful for His grace and for Manny's grace toward me.  But then things went south when we out afterward for a planned family trip to fly some kites.  

Most of the time when you see our photos, they are true to the moment.  But I would say this day's photos edited out all the drama surrounding them.  Manny was bothered by every mistake I made.  I wish I hadn't made said mistakes, but because they weren't sins, I started protesting.  Naomi became very sick,perhaps from food poisoning, heat exhaustion, her lingering illness, or our conflict--probably a combo of everything.  She ended up very sick and threw up that night and the next morning.  

I did take care of her, and she was grateful.  She and I have been doing so much better lately.  I was humbled and willing to change.  Even if she was the one who sinned or erred or provoked tension, I had to control my response to put an end to the cycle.  I had to value her sensitivity not as a weakness, but something that we could celebrate and use for good.  Now doing that, I notice more when someone isn't doing that for me.  Ultimately, though, I back down.  Nothing is worth the fight anymore.

And so you won't see those words in these photos, just a happy memory for Isaac ("That was such a nice day"), and an oddly surreal, sad memory for me.  After our rough day, Manny went and got slurpees (I don't drink them), and the boys were happy.  The girls, not so much, but we made it through with love for each other, and remembered that tomorrow would be a new day.  

The lake was idyllic, but we were surrounded by aeration plugs that resembled dog poop.  Symbolic?  

Naomi broke out her kite to demonstrate.  Manny was right that we should have waited till we were ready with the other kites--it ended up getting tangled.

We finally got the second one up in the air.  The boys were thrilled.  The third one I guess I tied incorrectly, and the fourth (the big one) wasn't put together and was too big for the kids, so we put it back.

Isaac was so proud of himself.

He could have been there all day, but Naomi wasn't well and we had to go.

This was a wonderful memory for him, even if all didn't go smoothly.

misc update from last week (new beginnings and continued friendships):

I'll start with two Fridays ago and try to catch up to the present.  Naomi went to a friend's sleepover/mini-golf/swimming party that Friday.  She's actually been to a number of parties, outings, and sleepovers this summer, but I don't have pictures from them unless a parent sent some.  She's growing up, and she has more memories now that are only secondhand accounts to me.  I missed watching the Olympics opening ceremonies with her.  I didn't make it through anyway; there were so many commercial interruptions, and I couldn't stay up.  Were there always so many breaks, and I've just become spoiled by this digital age, or did they have a lot of extra sponsorship this year?  I'm glad she had fun and maintains this group of church friends she's had for years.

R.'s 11th birthday

Selfie taken by the birthday girl.  Naomi's in the back.

On Saturday morning I picked her up with Isaac in tow, and headed into a long day of working hard and prepping before I went out with J. and A. for dinner.  Nowadays, I try to make sure things are cleaned up and food is ready before I leave.  I also take the kids all day so that Manny can rest up before he has to watch the kids.  Sometimes I feel exhausted by the time I do get out, but it's worth it to me to get that occasional break.  I know time with my family on the weekends in precious and they do feel a little abandoned, so I don't go out too often.  Isaac has thankfully been getting much better lately about my going out.  Apparently, the only problem this time was when he insisted that Snoopy was not a dog, because he doesn't walk on all fours.  :)

We shared a salad and Mediterranean chicken deep dish pizza.  It was tasty and really light for a deep dish pizza.  I prefer thin crust these days, because I feel it highlights the toppings more.  I enjoyed and appreciated the encouragement, wisdom, and thought-provoking adult conversation.  I was very thankful I got to stay till the end this time.  I thought we'd see each other again the following Monday on a nature walk with the kids, but Naomi came down with something last Sunday.

With J. and A. after dinner.

I taught the preschool class the next morning.  I just sub for the main teacher every few weeks.  We had one boy who spoke to me solely in Spanish, and thankfully I knew enough to understand him.  Another boy only spoke German, and I forgot about that when I asked the kids about a restroom break, so he had a potty accident toward the end.  I'll learn from his parents or use my phone translator next time.  Typically children will become more fluent in English once they reach school age, but at this age, and in our area, many children are learning their parents' native tongue.  I'd love for the kids to know more Mandarin or Spanish.  Naomi had to miss church due to her illness.  Usually she recovers quickly, but this one has really taken a while.  I pray she'll be better by the first day of school this week.

Even though we had to cancel the hike and classes, it was still a busy Monday.  Taking care of a sick child takes priority.  Then that evening, our new homeschool group held its kick-off meeting.  A former babysitter of ours happened to have the day off from work, so thankfully she was able to babysit until Manny got home.  Isaac had the best time with her, but the worst time when she left.  I am very glad I was able to go.  So much was covered that I didn't know beforehand.  I enjoyed meeting new people as well as catching up with an old friend who is in the group.  I brought cut veggies and a few school items to give away.  I came away myself with a number of freebies, including a book I won in a raffle, a neat Pinteresty favor, and a sense of joy.  These are very dedicated homeschoolers, and the first person I met was surprised that I had a child in public school.  I've since mentioned it a few more times and am fine talking about it as long as it doesn't become a debate.  It's all an exercise in faith and obedience, just different journeys.

Nice prayer stick holder.

The next day, I did our usual end-of-summer treat.  Isaac had been wanting to make fruit popsicles ever since he saw them on a cooking channel on YouTube.  It is super easy.  I cut up peaches, strawberries, kiwi, and blueberries, but you can use whatever you'd like.  Then I poured in some organic lemonade, and that was it.  Isaac and Lucas don't like kiwi, and Naomi doesn't like blueberries, so they made their own.

Let's make popsicles!

Miss B. with Isaac.  He wears mismatched PJs because he insists the bottoms to extra long to stay warm at night.  Elastic-cuffed bottoms bother him.

The next day, I took Naomi and her friend to the middle school orientation camp.  Naomi seemed to be doing a lot better.  I would have had to take her friend either way.  It went well, and the school has a pool they swam in for half of it.  

Naomi and her friend.  Our neighbor and her son are actually in the photo, too, I just realized.

Back from swimming/camp, and ready for our popsicles!

Really easy and pretty.

And brings smiles to our faces!

Lucas' group therapy class now only has three students (it used to have eight).  The other students all graduated, as will Lucas next year once he turns 9.  It's made him a little sad, and the original instructor also left to go work for a school district.  We do like the new instructor a lot, and she will also be his articulation therapist for the letter "r" (which needs its own dedicated session).  I'm not looking forward to adding on even more to my daily commute, as the center is a half-hour away and I have to drag Isaac along, but I am hoping for a breakthrough with his articulation.

The homeschool group had a park day last Friday, the first one we've been able to attend.  Lucas was very resistant to going, but eventually he came around.  Then we got to the park and he was resistant again.  It helped that Naomi was there to ease her brother into a new situation.  Isaac was ready to jump right in and not ever ready to leave, but we had to get going to have dinner before Lucas' music lesson.  I think/hope I am going to have a good experience in our new group.

Our friend Chris was in town, so he and Manny went to see a movie on Friday night.  They were out Saturday morning as well.  I let the kids (and myself) stay up to late because Manny was out, and they were out of sorts on Saturday so we couldn't go out with Chris before he had to go.  I was super tired but I got through the things I needed to for school and tried to put some kites together for the next day so I wouldn't have to bother Manny.  I should have just asked for help, because fixing my mistakes the next day on top of everything else really frustrated him.  It is really hard constantly feeling like I'm not good enough.  More on that the next post.

lucas, 8 years old:

Lucas says he is so happy he is finally eight years old.  For one thing, he was tired of being associated with the Lukas Graham song.  He also seems to feel like this is the start of a new chapter in his life.  He is proudly brushing his own teeth, reading so many more words, and raising his hand to volunteer for things.  He still cannot tie his own shoelaces, which is common for a child with his needs, but that's our big goal for this year.

I have seen him grow in so many ways, especially socially.  Sure, some days feel sisyphean, but other days I feel like he's becoming braver and more flexible.  There's so much to learn about him and his different conditions, but I am thankful for how having him for a son has helped me grow as a mother and as a person.

His current interests include large structures (e.g. Titanic, Golden Gate Bridge, Statue of Liberty, skyscrapers), Minecraft, video games that test skill and reflex, playing the violin, playing in the water, and money.  He is terrified of heights, but is contemplating going up the Statue of Liberty someday anyway.  He spent a lot of time this summer on his devices, so I had to take them away or make him go out often.  Usually we do school through the summer, but I needed extra time to complete some goals and start on others.

His favorite food is steak or salmon with mixed vegetables, basically a nice American dinner.  He also really likes hamburgers with pickles, ground beef tacos with lettuce and cheese, pepperoni pizza, noodles, noodle soups, broccoli slaw, and chili.  He likes baked goods that aren't too sweet.  He doesn't really have a strong sweet tooth, and is quite disciplined about having or taking just one piece of candy every now and then.  Of the candies, he seems to enjoy York peppermint patties, Junior Mints, Skittles, and Jolly Ranchers the most.

His therapy sessions are helping him participate in or even initiate conversations, but he still struggles quite a bit with language comprehension.  He probably always will.  He begins a third weekly session specifically for "r" articulation, and I'm still waiting to see what insurance will do.  Most of the speech centers here have all gone out of network.  One center told me they went out of network due to the high costs of this area (it's a paradox--people expect some of the best service and schools in the this area, but the service providers and teachers can barely afford to live here).  I will be continuing homeschooling him this year.  I think this might be our best year yet.

Favorites:
color - all colors
movie - Up (Disney)
food - see above
games - money games, Little Big Planet 2, Agar.io
music - Minecraft songs?

[No recent solo photo of Lucas--need to take some!]

soccer camp / vbs:

Lucas had VBS/camp every day from 8:30 to noon the same days as Naomi's camp, which also got out at noon.  I alternated picking them up, one earlier and one later.  I chose soccer camp for him simply because one of his former Sunday School teachers reminded me how he enjoyed kicking the ball around.  It's been that way since he was a toddler, but he had trouble understanding rules and instructions in his classes, so I couldn't continue and just forgot about it.  Manny was a MVP in his soccer league as a kid, so the apple doesn't fall too far.  I may try again with a special needs league, and our new homeschool group has a Sports Day where he could join in.

At first he was pretty nervous, and didn't really want to go, but he has grown in courage.  They were also gracious enough to assign a volunteer to escort him.  When I picked him up, he said he'd had so much fun and wanted to go every day.  Unfortunately, another boy had pulled his ears without provocation, and Lucas said his ears were still hurting.  Thankfully, another boy verbally came to his defense, and the leader took appropriate action as well.  The fact that Lucas was willing to let it go and still have fun was a big step for him.  I wish I could have been there to see it, but I'll take his word that he did pretty well.

He was disappointed that he wasn't in the full-day group, but we couldn't swing that with all our afternoon commitments.  Plus, when he heard it went till 5 p.m., he was realistic about how much he would have been able to handle.  I'm thinking we'll go full-day next year.

On one of the days, they had the kids cheer something loudly at the end.  I saw a huge smile on Lucas' face, and after a couple of times, he joined in.  Another big step for him!  Lucas is particularly sensitive to group cheering and loud sounds, so it was a delight to witness.  Another day, I saw him sitting by himself at the end, and then three other boys scooted closer to him and seemed to talk to him.  Though he didn't say anything in response, he smiled at them.  With Lucas, I do not take his social smiles for granted anymore.  

We moved away from calling it Vacation Bible School last year since it's run as a camp, and we seem to have many more people from the community join us.  The kids still do the same thing and learn about the gospel of Christ while doing something fun or familiar.  They took home a craft that explained the gospel, and the leaders prayed with them.  I noticed about half the kids didn't bow their heads, and honestly I like that.  I know so many people say we need to go back to the old days, but these days I feel like we are clearer on whether or not we are Christian.  I remember in Texas, I felt pressured into it, and it was really just the social norm (which is nice if you're Christian but so weird if you're not).  But I wonder if people really counted the cost of following Him when it was just what was all around you.  More than ever, we are called to not to just have courage to reach out to people, but to do so in love.  I think they did that at the camp.

Fun week!

One of the first to arrive, he's sitting with the instructors and helpers.

Doing well with the group.

climb every mountain (rock climbing camp):

This week, I was in commute three or four hours total every day, going from camps to classes to outings to therapy to parties.  Most were local, but traffic has become progressively worse in the area.  I've been in far worse commutes, especially coming from L.A.  One summer, my friend and I had to drive two hours each way in the carpool lane to get to work...in the same city (Los Angeles, where else?).  Now, having kids on board and driving when I'm tired make me more nervous about the longer commutes.  Still, I'm thankful to have the means to participate in and drive to all these activities, especially having a car after our other one was totaled.

Naomi attended a rock climbing camp this past week.  Starting in March, I brought up camps to her.  There was our church camp (like vacation bible school but with more specific activities and community outreach), camps others had told me about, camps in ads, etc., but she wasn't interested.  I'd suggested she find out what her friends were doing for the summer, so perhaps we could coordinate.  She said she wanted to take the summer off.  Ok, fine.  With school being so much work at the time, I'm sure she felt she needed the break.  But then she did some research and found a Christian girls camp with ropes courses in the outdoors (her type of camp).  By next year she would age out of the camp, so she really was hoping to make it.  Unfortunately, it was too late to register.  We also didn't know anyone else going, so that made us hesitant about an overnight camp.  As a compromise, I said I'd try to find a camp that would suit her.  I initially wanted to force her to volunteer at the camp at church, but I'm glad I decided not to.  She wasn't particularly interested in a sport, art, science, music, dance...and then I found a match.  Rock climbing.  She loves to climb, even though she is afraid of heights.  It makes her feel good to push herself and have courage to conquer that fear, and understandably so.  She'd also get a good workout.

She still would have liked to have gone to camp with some of her friends, but she really enjoyed the rock climbing camp.  Each day, she got better and climbed higher and more challenging courses.  They climbed bars, walked the tightrope, and climbed boulders (no harness).  She also made a friend.  At this point, I don't catch all the parents' names, so some of my phone contacts say So-and-So's Mom Rock Climbing.  Eventually I ask and get their names, because I strongly believe in getting to know her friends' parents.  It's definitely a change from when Naomi met her friends through me.

Going over safety rules and splitting up by age.  Naomi was easy to spot since she brought her own bike helmet.  I like how she enjoys being unique.

We only stayed to watch her do her first climb on the first day.  The place was pretty impressive.

Her first climb--made it to the top.  You couldn't tell she's scared of heights.

Fifth and last day.  She climbed up a 5.10a and put her name there.