back pain:

I hurt my back yesterday morning just stepping quickly into our home from the garage.  I carry and lift all day, always bending the knees and being careful, but you just never know when something will go out of whack (or age is going to hit).  Manny injured his back in the same area early last year, although more severely.  I still had to get Lucas to his class, and driving was pretty painful.  I told Isaac I was unable to carry him, so we took a slow walk to the playground while Lucas was in class.  It forced me to stop and enjoy my surroundings.  Then at home I still had to cook and take care of the boys, but having to rest helped me to be "still" and meditate and pray more.  I picked Naomi up from school and then Lucas had a therapy session in the evening.  The pain got worse, but after resting last night, I feel better today.  There's still numbness and it hurts to bend, but at least I am a little more mobile now.  I was supposed to go on a hike with women and kids from church tomorrow, but I would need to be completely better to go.  I'm still hopeful!

birthday presents:

Isaac received nice presents at his party, and of course Grandma and Grandpa sent a huge box as well.   He was very thankful for each and every one as well as the people who gave it to him.

Signing his thank-you cards for the first time.

Unpacking his box of presents from Grandma, including several Captain America goodies, of course!

These are the nicknames he gave Grandma and Grandpa (he calls himself Mr. Nothing, so it's okay).

Had to test out his marker maker right away.

Opening the box from Grandma and Grandpa.

isaac, 4 years old:

We didn't know what hit us when Isaac came into our lives, and it's still that way.  He can be the most kind and affectionate little boy and then turn around and act like he runs the place.  Usually he tries to stand up for himself when he feels he's been wronged, but he processes things over time and comes back to tell you he's sorry.  Not only that, he actually makes a decision on his own to change for the better.  He's very protective of his siblings.  Strong-willed, stubborn, and garrulous as he can be (like his mother), he has a silly and cuddly side that makes you want to drop everything and hug him all day.

Isaac has an excellent memory for events and conversations, quite detailed, even from when he was 2.  This we saw as well with Naomi, and it has its advantages and disadvantages.  He also loves arts and crafts--to draw, sculpt, paint, squeeze, create, and make big messes.  This does not go over well with his big brother, who tends to be the opposite.  All of us are pretty different, from our interests to our personalities, so we see a lot of interpersonal tensions, but as a family we learn to work things out.  He can come up with brilliant ideas and deep thoughts.  He can also be dramatic and obsessive.

At 4, he can write his name and several other letters, can identify several polygons and three-dimensional shapes, can count to 19 (he says he forgets 20) and add basic numbers.  He can recite a few things, but I just haven't been able to sit down and teach him formally.  I do read to him, but nowhere nearly as much as I read to the other two.  He also joins in his brother's lessons at times if it's something he can understand.  Life is living classroom, and he's doing pretty well just by observing and listening.  I plan to start more formally with him in the fall.  In the meantime, he has his gym class, weeknight church class, preschool playdates, and whatever field trips we do.

Skip this paragraph if you don't want TMI. Being weaned at 2 1/2, he struggles with letting go, so sometimes I give him my bras.  He actually has names for all of them that he came up with, and he never forgets which one's which, even if he hasn't seen it in months.  He treats them like stuffed animals, I guess, although he does have a couple of stuffed animals he likes.  He is still not fully potty trained, but he's gone several times.  I didn't want to force him, but now he is on his last few diapers and then he won't have a choice.  We are out all the time; it's hard to train him, but hopefully now that he's older, we can approach it in a more cooperative way.

He is also obsessed with candy, but he's understanding more that it's just not good for him.  He's still super picky with food, but at least understanding he has to eat from different food groups, even if he won't eat certain things from within the groups.

He is petite still, about 39" tall, and 29 lbs.  He still likes pasta, fries, cheese, and yogurt.  He still only eats carrots, corn, celery, and cucumbers as far as veggies go.  His favorite color is green, and he also likes red.  The only TV shows he'll watch are "Ruff Ruff Tweet and Dave" and "Super Wings," and even then he hardly watches them at all.  He likes to play video games, though, and he likes YouTube Kids videos.

In his short life, he's been picked on constantly and relentlessly by his older brother, but he forgives him.  He says, "He's my brother.  I love him no matter what."  And he really does.  It's softened Lucas toward him, and they are getting along better by the day.  Naomi and he also share a special bond because they are similar, although Naomi has become a little more distant as she grows up.  And he's actually pretty understanding about it.

Quotes!  A glimpse of his personality.

(Not able to get the water to flow out from his water gun):  Why is gravity not working?

(Manny asking him for a hug in exchange for something else):  That's not how life works, Papi.

Manny:  Do you love me?

Isaac:  I love you when you shave.  (He doesn't like Manny's stubble)

(After I did something he wanted):  Boys can convince moms, even though girls can't.

(Often said):  I love you 100,000.  One billion trillion.

(About growing up).  I'm going to be a man someday.  Then I don't have to tweeze my eyebrows.  But Naomi will have to, because she'll be a woman.

(After something fell on me):  Your reflex is too slow, Mami.

Me:  What is that?

Isaac:  It's the last of the poopy species.

How comes Lucas gets mad when I'm excited even though it's not a sin?

(First of my kids to have an imaginary friend):  It's invisible stamp person!

Me:  I need to take a shower.

Isaac:  But you smell amazing!

(On eating cotton candy):  It tastes like an edible cloud.

He likes to make parodies, and I think he puts some thinking into them.  There's a song called "Slippery Fish," and one time he was eating his pasta salad with his hands and sang, "Humongous hands, humongous hands, swimming in the oil..."

He wanted this cuddle photo with me.

On a carousel with Manny.

Cuddles with Naomi at Grandma's.

Loves his brother no matter what.

Always happy in a swing.

Loves to make faces into the camera.

Actively active.

His first drawing of people, sometime last year.

In Hawaii--he was so happy to finally get his olive pasta at the end of the week.

He loves these kinds of games.

I'm Spiderman!  But he's still a big Captain America fan.

Spending his birthday at the dentists' office.  He got a birthday sticker and an extra prize.  Super happy was he!

isaac birthday party at cec:

I had plans this year to have Isaac's party at church with a balloon artist, theme, etc., but it turns out they are now charging to rent the facility, for the extra cleaning before Sunday, and to rent the jumphouses.  It makes sense, but it wouldn't be worth it for us.  So the pastor's wife, who is also the acting admin, suggested we try Chuck E. Cheese's.  I had actually asked Isaac about it just a few months ago, and he didn't want it there.  But now he's actually not just playing in the toddler area anymore, so we changed venues.  Lucas is no longer scared of the flashing lights, although he still notices them.  We invited one of Naomi's friends, who happens to know one of our friends (small world).  There was some drama with one of our kids before the party, so I was distracted.  The way I was dealing with it (with emotion) bothered Manny, but things settled and we moved on.

I think the final headcount was 15 kids and 11 adults.  We had one family come down with an illness, which worked out, because guests showed up without RSVP'ing.  It was a little chaotic, but we managed to have just enough pizza, drinks, and seats.  Each child who RSVP'd also received a card with 45 play points (which replaced tokens) and a Chuck E. cup, and it probably worked out better than I didn't bring extra favors this time.  

Isaac wanted strawberry cupcakes, but knowing Naomi doesn't like artificial strawberry anything, he chose chocolate for her.  He wanted green frosting to represent Hermie the Caterpillar, a stuffed animal he has, based on a Christian computer-animated cartoon.  That was about the only hint of the original party we were planning.  I didn't mind at all.  I am extremely thankful to be able to host a party there and not have to do as much for it, especially before Naomi's party, which will require a lot more work since we're hosting it at our clubhouse again.  Even the cupcakes took a lot of time and effort with Isaac trying to help and with all the clean-up (one of the reasons I don't bake that often).  A father of a little girl at the neighboring party came over to ask for one of our pink cupcakes.  I was happy to oblige, as I'd brought 36 cupcakes.  We didn't have too many left over, which was good for my stomach.  I am seriously needing to get in better shape (more on that another post).

Naomi had her 4th birthday party there as well (time flies!), and they've really upgraded the birthday package since then.  Isaac wore an old shirt that was Lucas' because I thought I signed up for the package with the free t-shirt, but instead he got a plastic microphone and wristband.  By the time I realized it, it was probably too late to change it, and it's the same price for either one.  He prefers the mike, though.

Some of the photos are a little blurry, because my camera didn't always autofocus, and I can't see as well with my contacts.  I am still trying to learn how to manually focus, but it seems to take too long to capture shots with little kids.  I'm grateful the party went well.  

Cupcakes and table settings ready to go.

Free play before lunch.

Isaac was so happy.

The guests moved around a lot, so I don't think I got an actual photo of everyone.

Mr. Cheese gave Isaac a lot of attention, even though he/she had several tables to visit.

Blowing out the candles from afar.  After experiencing too big fires, he's quite nervous around flames now.

We tried.

Isaac could either go alone or take someone with him into the ticket hurricane machine.  He took Lucas, which made Lucas pretty happy.

Isaac with his tickets (photobombed by Lucas showing me his tickets).  He gets 1000 tickets with the birthday package, but he didn't know what to do with them so we'll save them.

Isaac made a friend there who took him up the structure.

Lucas and Isaac on a ride simulator.

With Uncle C. and Auntie O. and their daughter A.  Isaac was camera shy.

Again, we tried.

lucas tennis class and evaluation results:

Lucas is back to tennis and loving it.  We took a long break from it, just with our schedule and because we needed to focus on his therapy.  He also had difficulty in the tennis class with understanding instructions, but he always tried his best.  He did pretty well this time around, and he loved the running drills.  He needs more exercise and it's a daytime homeschool class, so I think it's a good fit.  Naomi didn't take to tennis as much.

Isaac was an infant when Lucas took tennis, so he doesn't remember it.  He was amazed by the bleachers and the neighboring park.  He had a lot of fun, and I was actually able to have a conference call for Lucas' speech evaluation while he played at the playground.

Lucas has to be tested annually for audio and speech issues to update his IEP and therapy goals.  It definitely helped that the person who tested him is a therapist he likes.  She told me that she felt if someone like a stranger had tested him, he might have given up and the results would be worse.  He's made marked improvements in articulation and pragmatic speech, but they are recommending we get him tested by an audiologist because they see some indication that he may have central nervous system issues with auditory processing and would like to confirm or rule it out.  I'm not really heartbroken or frustrated about it anymore, but his special needs did change everything for us as parents, and it'll be a long road ahead.

Ball bouncing drills.  I like this new class for bigger kids better than the last, as it focuses more on techniques.

Lovely day to cross the bridges.

The ducks think so, too.

Lucas said he liked the boys in his class, so he definitely wants to continue with it.

dinner with o:

I love hanging out with my friend O.  She's probably the friend you'll see most often here.  She and her husband live pretty far away from us now, so any chance we can to get together, I take it.  She actually picked me up this time and treated me (as a belated birthday present).  So sweet, and I'm glad she drove since I was really tired after a very long day with the funeral and Naomi's party and just getting ready to go.  Usually before I go out, I clean and cook and get things ready.  Sometimes I feel like by the time I go out, I'm exhausted.  The days have been rough emotionally as well.  Now that I am having so many breakthroughs with Lucas and Isaac, I feel like past issues keep coming back to haunt me with Naomi.  It's always something and someone (or all of them).  But that is okay.  I've been a terrible mom at times, but I am not giving up on them or myself.  Prayers appreciated.

O. and I went to Rock Bottom Brewery.  I had some salmon and she had a bacon mac n cheese.  The bakery nearby is gone!  So we ended up at a coffee house, which was really nice, too.  I haven't had a mocha in so long, but I got decaf mint mocha with almond milk.  She actually ordered the same, except caffeinated.  It's funny how often we order the same thing or wear matching clothes (thankfully not this time).  Our life circumstances are completely different, and we usually talk about completely different topics, but it's not an issue.  We build each other up in our faith, hold each other accountable, and speak the truth in love.

We waved to a worker to take our photo, but he thought we were just waving hi and waved back and left.  Then he eventually came and took our photo.  It was a funny moment.

memorial for k:

My friend's granddaughter (and my friend's daughter, but I'm closer to the grandma) passed away about a month ago.  They held a memorial service for her yesterday at our church.  It was a beautiful service, although I couldn't help hurting at the thought of losing a child so young.  Many of her friends came from afar, one even brought her dogs.  The pastor delivered a gentle but clear message.  The good news of Christ was shared with a large group of young adults, and he covered some difficult topics.

After the service, we released latex balloons in her honor and memory.  I didn't know her personally, but I felt connected to her through her mother and grandmother.  I could not stay for the reception, as I felt I needed to get home to handle some issues, and also Naomi had a friend's birthday party.  One of my other friends says that a month after a loved one's passing, the support begins to dwindle, and that sometimes feels like when you need it most.  I'm glad to see the support for her continue.

another week of real life:

My friend shared this post (one of many of its kind over the years) about how people's social media posts aren't fooling anyone and how maybe we should go ahead and post our tough moments, too.  Even though I agree with the idea that what we post isn't everything (both good or bad), that's not going to change how people post.  For myself, I try to keep it real, but I think it's humiliating to post photos or videos your family at their worst moments.  Not only that, but can you imagine Manny and I having an argument, and then I say, "Hold on, let me get my phone to take a photo of this real moment to post on Facebook."  lol  I also don't have the time to think of how to write the posts and don't want to worry my parents.  I don't really even post the things that I'm most proud of or my favorite memories.  Facebook is not necessarily the best or the worst of people, and it's not necessarily fake either (if anything, it's too real sometimes, and you find out some things about your friends and family you almost wish you hadn't).  

But one real moment I enjoyed this week was that BBC interview where Prof. Kelly's kids came waltzing into his office during an important on-air appearance.  It opened a lot of dialogue--about the assumption that an Asian woman would be his nanny, that he and his wife abused the kids in some way, or that they should even be stricter with the kids.  All that talk is fine, but just for the moment, it was fun to enjoy seeing some reminders that behind each person is a real life, and it gets us looking at that part of the world as well.  

I think I will always reserve the blog for talking about my life more in depth.  People come here who want to; I'm not broadcasting something to my friends and family like a mass email or post.  

So this week, we celebrated Pi Day with some pie:

She tried the coconut cream pie and liked it.

I also had an opportunity to lead a study on Isaiah 49, which was really meaty, and I think it was tough to do so much when I was feeling tired (and probably everyone else was, due to the lack of sleep).  I had told the main leader I didn't want to do this one exercise because I thought it would be too much.  She insisted, so I did it, but it was exhausting.  Later she wrote me and said that part was her fault, and I appreciated it, even though I didn't blame her nor was I upset at her.  It has happened to me many times where I knew better, but gave in, because I don't think people trust my judgment, and then found out I was right in the end.  Doesn't matter--I chose a peaceful path and am fine with it.  Next time I'll just move it along faster and won't worry about pleasing the leader only.

Isaac wanted this photo of him chomping on an apple before we headed out to church.

I got in a very minor accident, bumping the car in front of me at a red light.  I was stopped, let go of brake when I turned around, then bumped them.  No scratches or dents on either car, so the man said he probably wouldn't report it, but his wife was pretty upset with me.  I don't blame her.  Not five minutes before, I had told the boys to please be quiet for a minute so I could concentrate on driving or we'd get in an accident.  I can't blame them, though.  I just have to learn how to block them out sometimes when they keep talking or asking me questions louder and louder, over each other.

Waiting to get the ultrasound done.

When my mom was about my age, she had a cancer scare and had to get a scan.  Thankfully it was not cancer.  Her mother passed away of ovarian cancer around my age (I never met her).  So, I have to get checked.  I've been having pains since having children, but more so this past year.  Thankfully once again, it was not cancer.  I have a retroverted uterus, which means it's sort of backwards, which I already knew because my pelvis and uterus don't line up, so I had to have three c-sections.  What I didn't know is that it causes intermittent pain under some circumstances.  Secondly, they found a number of benign nabothian cysts in my cervix.  Nothing of concern at the moment, so I am very thankful.

Naomi had two days off school this week due to school staff development days.  Day 1 was fine, but ended in a terrible argument between us.  I take responsibility for letting it escalate.  Day 2 was better, and she baked cookies with Isaac.  We only spoke minimally, but loving words.  Right now I'm a bit hormonal, so probably best not to talk too much.

Cutting out sugar cookies.  I miss days like this with her.

lucas-and-mommy time, solo recital:

Lucas had another recital last night, this time was with just the current solo students rather than the orchestral group.  He did well, but both his teacher and I feel that he picked pieces that weren't very challenging for him.  We figured it would be fine to let him pick what he's comfortable playing.  In a month or so, he'll have another recital, and his teacher and I will have him choose from harder pieces.  

He got a participation trophy shaped like a harp, which he loves, and a certificate.  I can't believe we actually paid for a trophy.  I used to be so against participation trophies that I got into one of the worst arguments with Naomi a year and half ago over it.  But for all his walls he's broken through this past year, I think the trophy wasn't just about participation for us.  He really did give this thing his all.

The recital was closed off, so you couldn't freely come and go, so we felt it best to just have me take him.  For some reason, I forgot that I had set the clocks forward already, so I left an hour too early.  Then I started driving and glanced at the car clock.  Realizing my mistake, I was about to turn around, but Manny's Sunday evenings are easier while he's in transition, so I decided to take Lucas out.  It has been ages since we went anywhere alone.  I think a year ago was the last time.  He was so excited when I told him.  It was pretty hot that afternoon, in the mid-80s, so I decided to take him to Jamba Juice.  He wouldn't have to split the smoothie with his brother and sister.  He ordered a Mango-a-Gogo, and so did five people before and after us.  He got a kick out of hearing them put on one after another.  We walked in and enjoyed the quiet of not having Isaac singing and twirling while we were in line.  Then we sat down and, he was relieved no one was shaking the table or talking over him.  I learned a lot about how he felt about the family, life, music, Minecraft, all kinds of things.  Plus, we had some moments that are now inside jokes between us.  I'm truly thankful for this impromptu mother-son time that came out of a mistake.  

The director that evening told the kids to take a bow when people were clapping, and that we should clap at the end.  However, everyone clapped at the beginning, so Lucas bowed.  People chuckled, but thankfully a couple of men cheered him on.  He did fine, and we enjoyed finger foods at the reception together afterward.  I just brought strawberries and cuties mandarin oranges so I wouldn't have to make anything.

The recital went for an hour and a half, but without too much distraction, I really enjoyed it.  There's a whole music and art appreciation side of me that has dwindled over the past several years.  I savor each moment I get to hear music uninterrupted.  Lucas' legs started going numb from sitting for so long.  I tried to have him move around.  As the second to the last student was preparing to go up, Lucas started moving around a lot, and I think her brother (appeared to be a teen) threw something at Lucas.  I let it go so that Lucas thought it was an accident, but I think it did on purpose.  No matter, we moved on.  Good show.

Smoothie mommy-son time.

Lucas with his violin teacher.

The first of his two pieces.  This one is called "Go Tell Aunt Rhody."

home cookin' / last weekend:

Chris stopped by last weekend.  He and Manny went out to eat and watch a movie.  I like when Manny has time to go out.  Of course, we wish it could be us going out together as well, but babysitters are hard to come by for us.  Even trying to find a way and the time to spend quality time alone with each child can be challenging, but we do whatever we can whenever we can, because it is still important to us.

Naomi and Lucas wanted Chris' attention when they were younger, and now Isaac does the same, even though we see Chris less often now.  I think about how Isaac will be the last one to go through these phases.  In a short amount of time, he's not going to be all about hugs and kisses or twisty slides or playing with toys anymore.

On Sunday night I made some barbacoa in the Instant Pot.  I reduced the spice by using one less pepper and omitting the black pepper, but there was still enough spice to give it a kick.  Naomi and Lucas can handle spiciness.  There's probably nothing in the barbacoa that Isaac would even try.

I also baked a sweet potato pie (random mix of recipes) for Lucas for school in honor of George Washington Carver, one of my favorite figures in black history.  It's the only way Isaac will eat sweet potatoes.  Lucas didn't want to bake it with me, so only Isaac helped.  I miss when Lucas used to love helping me cook.  Sometimes I just tell him to help, but with Isaac there, I think three would've been a crowd.

I also made some pho ga this week.  Pho bo (beef pho) is pretty laborious, but pho ga much less so (especially with the IP).  The only thing is that we all prefer beef in our pho over drumsticks.  But it's a great alternative when I don't have time to make pho bo.

Lastly, I made a Hello Kitty musubi using the rice mold G. gave us.  Naomi's not super into Hello Kitty anymore, but she does like spam musubi, so I thought I'd make it for her.  We've had a tough week.  It looks harder than it actually was.  Well, it would have been hard if I didn't have the kitchen scissors to cut the nori or the vegetable cutter for the flower.

Isaac making Chris play video games with him.

Barbacoa--the only way Manny likes roast.

The only way Isaac likes sweet potatoes.

Pho ga.  Not sure why my chicken has those dark spots from the broth, but I did leave it warming in the pot a lot longer than I wanted to since I had to go to one of the kids' classes while cooking.

Someday I might figure out how to make the bow, but the carrot works, especially since it's a Hawaiian food.

Not bad for a first attempt.