dec misc catch-up / naomi art / boys growing up:

A few random things to close out December:

My fitness group challenged each other to do a green smoothie cleanse.  Pretty good, but it was easier for me to just eat the greens straight instead of blending them.

Naomi made these face cookies and caricatures for her friends for their Christmas party.  She drew them so well, perfect representations of their personality and style.  I love how she knows her friends so well.  

This was the quick artwork she was painting when her friend was over our place.  A little girl looking over the city at sunset.

So far, Lucas has all the country names and locations for North America and Asia down as well as all 50 states and their capitals. 

It's soup weather.  Korean galbitang (spare rib soup).  We don't eat onions, so there is extra daikon.

Instead of the smoothies, I preferred eggs with greens for breakfast.

Lucas likes going to the barber much more than the kids' salon.

Santa hat cheesecakes.  This and some cookies were the extent of my Christmas baking this year.

I don't remember what this is.  Some taco or tostada night, I guess?

Isaac climbing in gymnastics class.  He much prefers tumbling, so I may move him to solely tumbling next.

Manny took this pic of Isaac and me chatting in bed.  Isaac is such a gregarious child.

Manny showing Lucas how to pump gas.

Somewhere out there is my mama...as Manny used to joke.  Nacho loves looking out the window.

home / date / new year's eve:

After we returned home, we opened some stocking stuffers for the kids, Nacho included.  Manny and I went to see Ip Man 4.  I like kung fu films for the entertainment, though I close my eyes sometimes at the violence.  The part where the girl gets bullied at school because of her race really hit home for me, and reminded me of my life before I was 10, with the constant bullying at school over my ethnicity.  I was thinking how it's too bad my kids don't identify with much of my culture, but I'm thankful they never had to face that on a regular basis.  We Asians are often taught not to fight back, or to fight back in other ways, like outsmarting or making something of ourselves.  We do, however, have an inner strength and tenacity.  Being a Christian adds a tremendous hope to that as well.  It got me through the dark days of 2019, and continues to grow in me into 2020.  

Manny had to work a little bit during the week.  Naomi's friend came over, and then for New Year's Eve she celebrated at a friend's house, and we were here with the boys and called Grandma at 9 pm.  We have been watching the Times Square ball drop live.  The three-hour time-difference makes it easier to not stay up, although the fireworks will usually keep me up, but at least I'm in bed.  We also bought a new bed for the new year.  I think it's been 15 years.  Both of us were getting backaches, and I'm thankful we were able to find a great bed at a discounted price.  Our dynamic has also improved.  We don't argue while shopping; I am more open with my gratitude; I express my desires without a need for control.  We easily came to an agreement.

Sniffing what's inside the stocking Grandma crocheted (I didn't let him bite it).  We got him some treats.

For Isaac--a special nutcracker designed Cookies n' Creme and a Hello Kitty bean plush.

Nacho slept for two days when we got back.

Naomi's friend came over, and I made some toffee oatmeal cookies from the mix my friend gave us.

Isaac happy with his new bowl.

Simple meal for the (non-lunar) New Year--steak, veggies, meatballs and li'l smokies in barbecue sauce.

Time for the NY countdown (lol Nacho).

We do our countdown on east coast time so we can get to bed earlier.  😅

spaghetti and sushi and heading home:

We did our annual family lunch the Friday after Christmas and also a lunch with just the girls the next day.  For the family lunch, we returned to Old Spaghetti Factory.  I completely forgot to get a group photo or even a section of the table.  Just a photo of Isaac.  I promised Lucas I would play RISK with him, and Manny promised as well, so we did one game with all of us.  It was so long, but it was a good game for Lucas, because he likes survival and strategy games.

Saturday Naomi, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and I went out.  Just us girls.  Naomi was craving sushi and bubble tea, and my sister-in-law found us a couple of great places.  The portions were huge at the sushi place.  I don't remember much else from that day.  I think Manny helped them set up their TV, I packed, and I don't remember much else.  My mind is going these days.  Isaac programmed and did somersaults on the bed all week.  Naomi and Lucas watched a lot of TV.  We don't really go anywhere during Christmas anymore as a group, or it's just filled now with visits with family and one or two friends.  I don't know when exactly that started changing, but I think it was when Isaac was born?  But I've learned as with many things to relinquish control and be thankful.  Maybe someday I'll get to go to Disneyland again, and maybe Isaac will get to finally go.  Or maybe we won't ever go, but it's okay to hope and dream, and try to make a dream happen, but if it doesn't I will just be thankful for the times I did get to go and the memories I've had there.

We had a good drive home.  It was nice to see the snow.  I feel like a kid sometimes again, learning to see the wonder of the created world and not take so much for granted. 

Isaac at Old Spaghetti Factory.

Lucas waiting to play Risk.

Auntie with her niece and nephews.

Lucas likes lining things up.

Naomi and I had sushi.

Grandma and Auntie having a bento box and poke bowl.

Out for tea.

Nacho resting and being a little sad as we pulled out the suitcases.

Dexter seemed a bit down as well.

This was a photo I took on a separate day to have a memory of Chuy's last Christmas.

Snow on our drive home.

visit with c / pho:

The day after Christmas we went to visit C., my closest friend of I guess 33 years now?   I always hesitate to call her best friend, because I have many good friends, friends who are like sisters, even angels, and have been there for me in ways I don't deserve or understand.  But she really has been THE best friend to me for three decades. 

Our boys didn't interact much.  We were just hanging out at the house.  Naomi was sick this time, so she couldn't make it.  Her husband had to attend a wedding, so he left that morning and we just missed him.  Manny fell asleep there, probably tired after all the long drives that week.  So we didn't really think to take a group photo.  C's birthday is close to Christmas, and she gets her favorite chocolate dobash cake from King's Hawaiian bakery almost every year.  Her mom used to get them for her before she passed away.  Now she buys them for herself or one year her aunt did.  She saved us some.  It was nice and moist and chocolatey, but still a little rich for me. 

C. has been there for me like no one else, through many storms of life.  I'm pretty sure my heart would be a crumbled mess by now had she not helped me piece it back together in her quiet, patient, unassuming way.  She also has no problems switching gears with me when I go from talking about my deepest hurts to our dogs and Marvel movies.  My life has been made more complete because God put her in it.  She's not very emotional and doesn't have an answer to everything, and I need that, because it keeps me sane.  Don't get me wrong; she'll talk some sense into you as she deems necessary, but with me she's always mostly listened and supported unless I ask for input.  We're both introverted intuitive types, so we "see" each other, if that makes any sense.  Even though we may seem unemotional or cold, we actually feel very strongly and very deeply.  She is also a very thoughtful gift-giver.  Even though gifts is not my love language, every last gift she has ever given me has made me feel very loved.  But most of all, I trust her. 

After we returned home (so thankful to Manny for driving so much that week), we all went out to a new pho place.  It was definitely pho weather.  The place was called Kung Fu Pho, which is funny, as kung fu is Chinese, and pho is Vietnamese.  Kung fu as a name is also like the word "oriental," kind of obsolete, but works for that area where it's probably all the same to many. 

C's traditional favorite, the chocolate dobash cake from King's Hawaiian bakery.

Opening presents.  Grandma made Isaac's R2-D2 beanie.

Lucas excited to get Risk.

Manny worn out from the excitement.  haha  Isaac covered him with the wrapping paper.

Driving back to Grandma's.  Beautiful pastel sky and snow-covered mountains.

Two days of pho, but the boys are definitely not complaining.

Sorry for my unflattering candids.  Just didn't want to interrupt their eating.

Pho!  Naomi remains my only child who uses chopsticks.

christmas part 2: opening presents

As mentioned, the kids wanted to open their presents on Christmas Day, so we did it in the evening.  All three kids did not know what they wanted for Christmas.  They don't really think that way.  So they said maybe money, and they would decide later when they needed it.  I encouraged them to think of something.  Lucas finally decided he wanted the last Avengers movie.  Isaac wanted a bowl that separates your milk from your cereal.  My kids are pretty good with sharing, don't ask for much, and understand the value of money.  I think that's atypical, especially for younger kids.  But they also have atypical challenges as well, and I won't list those out.  They are all very different in their personalities and energies. 

I haven't been bringing the DSLR camera because I figure the phone is good enough, but Christmas photos just aren't the same from my phone, so I'm going to lug it with us in the future again.  I remember one Christmas Grandma turned on the bubble machine, and I'm so glad I had the good camera for that.

Nacho loves tearing at paper, so guess who really enjoyed helping open presents.  Grandma also got Dexter (their Boston terrier) and Nacho some chew toys, which they exchanged.  Nacho just wanted to take whatever Dexter had.  Guess he's the first of my kids to be that way.  Chuy, their cocker spaniel, seemed to be struggling.  Grandma said this was probably his last Christmas.  😢  She wanted the kids to see him one last time.  I wanted them to take a photo with him, but it never happened.  

Grandpa made a delicious chicken dinner and we, the adults, watched It's a Wonderful Life.  I don't remember which day it was, but Lucas was really acting up at Grandma's and got in a lot of trouble.  I stayed out of it this time.  I don't know why he is like that there.  He is the one who loves being at Grandma's the most and yet seems to be the least respectful.  There are many things I want to get to the bottom of with him.  And though he has learned how to express his feelings pretty well, I don't think he knows why he acts like that, either.  Could just be the change in environment, or he could honestly just be really happy.  Nacho is always really quiet at home, but he gets so excited when he's there and misbehaves, too.  Again, I stayed out of it.  These days I've calmed down a lot, choosing to be a better person over getting so angry.  I'm not actually that angry--it's usually hurt or stress that has come out that way, and I'm working on being more vulnerable so there are fewer misunderstandings.

Nacho excited to tear some wrapping paper.

A Christmas candle with some family photos we got for Grandma.

Nacho:  Let me at it!  Dexter:  Get me out of here!

Sketch books for Naomi!  Perfect!

Yes, I asked for a meat thermometer.

Lucas got his movie!  And gift cards!

Manny got gift cards, too!

Isaac was happy with his jellybeans and giftcards and his cereal/milk separator bowl.

Toys for the boys.  You can see Nacho was ready for his, and then he saw Dexter's.

christmas part 1 - visiting my brother:

My brother is currently living in a mental health facility in L.A.  It's probably the best of all the places he's lived apart from the home, which is a real blessing, but it's getting harder and harder for my dad to make the drive.  He's almost 80.  My mom was trying to find a good day for us all to visit and decided Christmas day, which Manny felt would be best traffic-wise as well.  Then it changed because we weren't sure if my brother wanted to go to a certain shoe store, but then as Manny pointed out, it was likely that what he was looking for wouldn't be there.  So we ended up just searching online for the shoes.  We couldn't find the exact type, so we went with his second choice, something reasonably priced and similar.  He was very happy with them, only worrying that they might get stolen (he's had a lot of things stolen from him over the years at the facilities, sadly).  I suggested places to hide them, but I would hope no one would steal his shoes.  

The day of, my mom told me that they just began a policy of requiring a three-day notice for patients to leave the clinic.  She had tried calling Sunday through Tuesday, but there was no answer and no voicemail, and I guess they were saying it has to be three business days, and it wasn't clear which of those were not business days aside from Sunday.  They told my brother it was unlikely he could get the pass to go out.  So she thought she called too late.  I told her she had a legit reason, and as usual she was trying to get me to concoct a story or an argument, but I figured that would make it worse.  I took a page out of Manny's book, and just went in pleasantly but confidently and said, "We're here to check John out," like it was just business as usual and no problem.  I was about to ask how long he could be out (Manny uses questions/choices as well, like the way you talk to a child sometimes), but they were already saying, "Three hours.  That's it.  No more.  Be on time."  So they let him go.

My mom originally wanted to eat at a Chinese restaurant that we've been to before, but it was completely booked for the day.  So we went with a place that they saw an ad for on TV.  Oh, some things never change.  Our family had so many bad experiences with TV ad restaurants, but I guess they always hope this one will be different.  It turned out to be a Thai-Vietnamese-Chinese fusion place, with individual entrees rather than the family style they're used to.  I don't think they loved it, but they found things they could eat.  The kids were fine.  The boys had pho, and Naomi had Thai food.  I thought it was alright.  Also, they received some money for Christmas like they wanted.

My friend who lives not too far away suggested he and his family would come visit with us.  I felt like that was asking a lot, but promised I'd tell him where we were, so I did.  I assumed it was really last minute, but they showed up!  They ate at a neighboring table.  We didn't get to chat a whole lot, but of course Star Wars came up since we'd all recently seen it.  I had told them Naomi was in the school musical, so they asked her, but she told me she doesn't have a big part in it and would rather me just say she likes to draw rather than hype her up so much.  I told her I'm just extremely proud, but I definitely have no problems sticking to talking about her art or whatever she is comfortable with.  I may be chatty, but I actually do not enjoy small talk.  I enjoy deep conversations.  So I guess sometimes I get nervous or even put off by the usual questions and end up not thinking a whole lot about it.  Something to work on.  I find myself always working on something about myself these days, and that's a good thing.  Hopefully I'll never stop learning and growing.

When we arrived back at my brother's facility, there was an ice cream truck!  It was cold and sprinkly, but I guess the ice cream man comes around there as a special treat for Christmas.  Manny bought the kids--you guessed it--ice cream.  My parents never once let us go to the ice cream truck, so they weren't familiar with it, and my mom got nervous because the front of the truck had big letters painted on it:  WARNING:  Small children (meaning cars should watch out for them).  My mom thought it meant a warning to small children to not go near the truck!  haha  We chatted for a while before returning to Manny's parents' house.  Two of the kids still wanted to open presents on Christmas day rather than do it Thursday morning.  So we did that.  It was a little strange, and I appreciate everyone including the kids accommodating my family so we could visit my brother.  I appreciate my family being accommodating so we wouldn't have too much traffic to drive in with the kids.  I appreciate my friend for bringing his family to meet with us on Christmas Day.  And I thank God because I've grown to a point where I relinquish control of these things--logistics, specific details, what I think we should or shouldn't do.  It works out better.  So I guess I am proud of myself for my changes as well.

Grandma's computer has an automatic slideshow that plays as the screensaver.  Really neat to see all those photos and memories.

Isaac getting love from Auntie.

The kids with both sets of grandparents.  I don't know if my kids know how special this really is.  I didn't really know or see my grandparents aside my dad's father.

In the restaurant.  I forgot to take a photo of my colorful food.

Isaac ate that whole bowl of pho.

With T and M and their girls, my dad, and my brother (my mom took the photo).

What?!  An ice cream truck out on Christmas day!   

To this day I to not call him by his first name but by "big brother" in Chinese out of respect.