and we're back (from a happy and bittersweet holiday):

I walked in this morning and saw a message from one of the vice presidents on my whiteboard: "Amy, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, ___" I have only spoken to him once, and that was months ago, so it was a bit unnerving. I don't trust any male executives anymore. I used to think that they saw us as worthless peons, but now I know some of them see women going up the corporate ladder as easy targets. I had to give an executive-level presentation first thing this morning (which they only told me about Wednesday right before we left). And one of the directors said, "Amy, you have such a nice smile. You should use it more often." I'm thinking that's exactly why I don't want to smile.

Manny finally got some time off from work only to be employed as my chauffeur for the last few days. It took us almost 10 hours to drive down to his parents' home, including the two stops. I am with child now -- I have to stop. The next day, Thanksgiving, we kicked back, watched some movies (Elf was much better than we'd expected), and had a fabulous turkey dinner with all the fixin's. A few of the relatives came over or called, but for dinner, it was just us, the parents, Manny's sister Dahlia (aka Dolly), and her boyfriend. Dolly seems so lively and happy these days. It makes me happy to see her in good spirits. Friday was more of the same. I was too tired to go anywhere. I looked forward to Mona's turkey tacos before we went to my mom's.

I usually say "my mom's" now because my dad isn't there anymore. We didn't see him this holiday. I haven't had a real conversation with him in years. When I was "daddy's little girl," I would have never imagined our relationship would turn out like this. I still have hope. On the other hand, my relationship with my mother continues to grow stronger now that I'm an adult. Now that I have discovered that much of what my father led me to believe about her was all lies. It's kind of funny how much my mom and I hug now. Manny taught us that. He wanted to give my mom a hug, but I told him our family "doesn't do that." But he went for it and it's been all hugs ever since. Haha. :)

Saturday, we also attended Alice and Josh's wedding (some photos below). No flash photography was allowed at the church ceremony. The banquet was excellent. The wedding was beautiful. Except for the ugly photo of me and Manny that they had in the slideshow. But we were still very touched to be included. And I was even more touched by her mother, who walked up to me and thanked me for all I had done for Alice. I kept thinking she was mistaking me for someone else, but she called me by name. I do love Alice, but I really haven't been there for her as I was many years ago. I was really humbled. There is so much more I could and should be doing for others.

Most of our peers at the wedding were a few years younger (Alice was a freshman when I was a senior). Man, what a difference those years made -- I feel old! Haha. And with the excellent 11 course meal including Peking duck, prawns with walnuts, etc, I figured I gained yet another pound, bringing my long weekend gain to almost 4 lbs! Baby Hernandez was a happy little girl! "Turkey for me and a turkey for you, white meat, dark meat, you can't go wrong..." (Adam Sandler)

Alice and Josh visiting our table at the Sea Empress Restaurant in Gardena. 

Amy with Helen, one of the bridesmaids. 

Visiting Alice and Josh at the head table. 

Our annual Thanksgiving feast being cooked up in Manny's parents' new kitchen (the flooring hasn't been put in yet).  

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1789

Just a reminder of the original meaning of the holiday (it's not just Turkey Day, even though I do love a good Thanksgiving dinner):

Thanksgiving Proclamation
George Washington

City of New York, October 3, 1789

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor, and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me "to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanks-giving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness."

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th. day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be. That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks, for his kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation, for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war, for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed, for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions, to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually, to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed, to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord. To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and Us, and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

thankful / cheesecake

Cream cheese finally went on sale this week, so I made a New York-style cheesecake with blueberry topping. Usually a cheesecake like this would cost $25-$30 to make, so you might as well buy one, but with the discount, it was only about $10 (including eggs, graham crackers, topping, etc.). I am so thankful for an oven that actually works after all these years. Now I can feel like I contributed a little to Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Speaking of being thankful, this is a great time to reflect on all that I thank and praise God for, such as:

-The new life I have had since spring 1994. The peace, the joy, the struggles, the growth -- I feel alive.

-Each new day that He works in my heart, humbling me, strengthening me, and maturing me through both joys and trials.

-Christ, that I need not be plagued by the past, lacking in the present, or anxious about the future.

-A husband who amazes me by washing my feet daily, figuratively speaking, without complaint. He makes me think till my head itches and laugh till my stomach hurts.

-The responsibility for this new life inside me and my continued health during this pregnancy.

-This marvelous family we have found in our current church. Diversified in race, socioeconomic status, opinions, and age, but unified in Him.

-Friends who care (and listen even though I ramble).

-My in-laws, who have helped me to understand familial love in a way I had not known before. And my parents, for what I was taught through them.

-His provision for us financially, even when we forget to ask.

And there's so much more. I hope and pray that I would remember all that I have to be thankful for, especially the next time I feel like making a list of complaints instead. :)

Amy and cousin Francesca at the restaurant before heading over to the Mission (which Uncle Gerard paints). 

Birthday boy gets a song (from the band as well as the waiters) and some chocolate mousse. :) 

Manny's birthday lunch at Jardines de San Juan near Mission San Juan Bautista. The picture doesn't do the place justice -- the gardens and music are beautiful. 

Buddy wearing the wrong colors for the Cal-Stanford Big Game. 

success and culture in parenting:

At our parenting study this past week, we went over what parents might consider as "success" for their children and for themselves as parents. The chapter we reviewed goes over several of the goals parents might have: well-behaved children, "saved" children, family time, well-rounded children involved in many activities, social children, education, etc. But these should not be our main goal.

This was a good lesson for me, because just last week I was telling Manny how I didn't get to have piano or sports lessons. And I wanted to give that to my children. But he reminded me that those activities aren't a measure of how good we are as parents. They aren't wrong, just not what we should strive for.

Because the study group is a mixed bunch (5 Chinese, 1 Thai, 3 Caucasians, 2 Mexicans), the topic of our cultural differences came up. Generally speaking, Asian parents are known for desiring a good education and career for their children, sometimes wanting to live vicariously through us. Family is important in the sense that we should not shame our family name. As for Mexicans -- again, generally speaking -- the major emphasis is family in the sense of unity and time together. Education and career take a back seat to that.

As a personal example, Manny's parents were not so thrilled about him going to Stanford. It meant he would move far away. Education was at the bottom of the priority list and people around him didn't know MIT from a CSU. As for me, going to Stanford was the realization of a family dream. Suddenly relatives that never spoke to me (because my dad was the black sheep) were sending me gifts and visiting. And asking why I was only getting a Master's.

For Manny, 90% of his extended family lives in the same area in southern California. They visit and call each other constantly. In my extended family, it is not unusual for husbands and wives to live in separate cities or states for the sake of their careers. None of my aunts and uncles on my dad's side live anywhere near each other.

Manny's parents would have shown him love even if he had dropped out of school. But I got hit or yelled at (my parents aren't Christian) if I came home with even an A-. I only had one A- in high school, on a mid-semester progress report that didn't even count, but boy, do I remember it.

But God's word surpasses all that and makes our marriage work, even with our different upbringings. And likewise as parents, I'm confident it will unite us and make us consistent. It's really amazing.

Happy Birthday, Annette and Colleen!! And Manny, too!! 

chances are:

I'm going to go ahead and say it's a girl. Even though I still have some lingering doubt, it's still most likely a girl. My ob/gyn said that the heart rate was kind of on the border, but still high enough that she would lean toward girl. Everything checked out okay. I've gained 10 lbs so far. Never thought I'd be so happy about that. And I can't believe my appetite this month. Just in time for Thanksgiving!

Today is Manny's birthday! Also a bunch of other people's birthday as well -- Valentine's Day must be a popular time... Last year, I wrote and illustrated a children's book for him about his little quirks. This year, I didn't have the time or creative juices to write part two. Manny and I like to keep our birthdays on the down low. Sometimes I jokingly tell people mine is February 31, but they are quick to write it down or enter it in their Palm anyway. Then I have to feel bad and explain it's just a joke. :)

Left: One of the ultrasound snapshots my ob/gyn took at 10 weeks. Right: The "top of the head" shot at 18 weeks that the u/s technician said we "get to keep." Haha.

second guessing and moving on:

I'm perfectly happy with a healthy baby, whether it's a boy or a girl. But my coworker told me today how they had three ultrasounds, all concluded 100% girl, and the baby came out a boy. I guess I'm still not completely convinced because the technician kept saying how difficult it was for her to tell. Then after several minutes, out of nowhere, she says, "oh, I'm 95% sure it's a girl" without really showing us exactly why. I read that normally, they will show you the "3 lines" to prove it. I'm thinking of not telling people now and just going neutral with the registry. I'm thankful whatever the gender, but partly why I wanted to find out was to plan. So much for that. :) I guess the only way to know for sure is with an amniocentesis, which involves chromosomal analysis. But if all goes well today with my AFP blood results, I won't need one of those.

I had posted an ultrasound film of the baby at 10 weeks, full body. But when we got our 18 week take-home photo yesterday, it was a shot of the top of the baby's head! Haha! I was kind of hoping for something different for the scrapbook, but I guess the bird's eye view is fine. :) If I have time, I'll post the old photo and the new one again.

Manny couldn't believe that I deleted my entire blog, but I guess I'm not very sentimental about my own stuff. I keep cards, gifts, and memories and enjoy looking up old friends, but if it's my own stuff, it's really not a big deal for me to give or throw things away. What can I say, I moved around every few months when I was little. My parents gave away anything I won or received as gifts to other kids. And I've been through some very tough times and turned the page to a new chapter. So as I said before, I really embrace change (except in the cases where it's clearly not a wise decision). And I like to clean. :)

reposting the photo -- orangutan awareness week was last week, i think.

surprise, surprise:

Manny accompanied me to the ultrasound today. He also gave me a very cute and touching card with a picture of baby's feet on the front. I was so relieved to hear that the baby appeared okay. I'll find out my AFP (blood test for disease risk) results tomorrow.

Well...it looks like we're having a girl! A little chincanita (Chinita + Chicana). The technician said the baby moved around too much for her to be 100% sure, but she was pretty confident. Our initial gut feeling was that it was a girl, but all the old wives' tales and Chinese lunar calendars and random theories from friends pointed to a boy. So then we switched our mindset to expecting a boy and were actually a little disappointed today. It's been a roller coaster ride. I'm glad we decided to find out the sex ahead of time. Now wouldn't it be funny if it came out a boy anyway. Either way, we'll be overjoyed (and have two names ready).

Because of the ultrasound, I missed the announcement that I've been promoted! Just when I was hoping to take it easy for the next few months! Just kidding. So now I have two people reporting to me. This doesn't change our minds about me leaving the company, though. The culture here isn't conducive to working from home or working part-time. And I need to be there for my kids, for my home. If it's in God's plan, I'll find something else eventually. In any case, we know He will provide for us.

clean slate, sort of:

Congratulations Demian and Ellen! Welcome little Jacob!

So Manny and I talked about this blog. Initially, I only thought of it as writing practice, food for thought, nothing special. But he mentioned that the person I sometimes sound like in this blog isn't really the Amy that people know in person. I guess I become so removed, especially since I often write during breaks at work, that I come off so matter-of-fact, even cold, even harsh. I hadn't really thought much about it till recently when I re-read some recent entries.

So...I deleted my previous posts and photos. It's easier than going back and re-reading everything. Not that anything I said wasn't sincere, but I'll try not to be "business Amy" so much. :)