good friday to resurrection sunday:

Good Friday was a day full of reflection, some of it solemn as I grieved over the impending passing of a friend and the family she'd leave behind.  There is hope in our trials and a chance to serve others in theirs, but there is also a time for grief.  Even Jesus wept, while continuing in His work.  We went to deliver a meal to someone from church who just got out of the hospital.  Naomi fell asleep from a long week.  I wasn't sure I was going to take the kids to Good Friday service anyway, but I let her sleep and stayed home.  I spent some more time praying, reading, and reflecting.

I felt very blessed as I thought of talking to my best friend the day before.  We talk only once a month or less, and sometimes not for several months.  She also doesn't email or text, which are my regular modes of communication.  But it never seems like we've lost touch.  It's funny we both were thinking about seeing Coppelia (the ballet) in high school for a school assignment.  I don't even think we've talked about since then.  I forgot things about the day that she remembered, and vice versa, and it was fun putting together this puzzle of a memory.  We're getting old, and it's hard to believe we both used to have photographic memories.  I actually called to get an update about her mom's cancer.  It's not in remission yet, but she seems to be responding well to the treatment.  Isaac's birthday and her older son's birthday are also just two days apart, so at some point I realized we had our son's birthday parties on the same day to avoid doing it Easter weekend.  It's too bad our kids aren't going to grow up together, but it's funny that she now lives on the east coast and takes her kids to places I went as a child.  Sorry if I've mentioned that before.  I can't remember!

Saturday morning was interesting.  Manny had an issue with his car, so he took it to the dealer, and I was supposed to pick him up on the way to our church's egg hunt at a local elementary school.  I signed up to work in the main area, so I couldn't be late.  Usually it doesn't take too long, but this time, after half an hour Manny still hadn't been checked in, so I had to take the kids and go.  There is usually no parking by that time, so I had to account for parking far away.  Thankfully, I found a spot only two blocks away.  It took some coaxing to get Isaac into the stroller so we could run.  I got there just in time.  I didn't have a super difficult job, but it was a little distracting with the boys.  I am so grateful for Naomi's help--she took Isaac through the toddler course while I waited with Lucas, and then she took Lucas.  Another family took Isaac to the jumphouse.  Manny actually walked over two miles to the school.  Even though I wasn't sure that was a good idea, I was very glad to see him.  I am thankful his back has improved enough that he could make the distance.  After the event, we went to have lunch at a new Chinese place.  What we ordered was different that what the boys are used to, so neither ate that well, but the food was pretty good for the rest of us.  Going from our Chinese side to our Mexican side, we headed over to the Mexican store and bought a few Mexican baked goods and frozen treats.  Growing up, I enjoyed eating the pan dulce that Mexican classmates brought to school, but until I went to the stores, I'd no idea there were so many different types.  We then watched The Peanuts Movie, which is a complete nostalgia trip for me.  I've read many of the older comics as well, so it was nice to see Patty and Violet back in the gang.  I think Lucas lost interest once it turned out to be centered on Charlie Brown's crush on the little red-haired girl (that was one lasting theme throughout the cartoons and comics, but not one in the cartoons our kids have seen).  Naomi recognized most of the themes, having interest perhaps only because I do.  This was the longest I'd ever seen Isaac sit through a movie.

Sunday of course was Easter aka Resurrection Sunday.  Our faith is built on the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  We've a new life in Him.

Naomi could not find something she'd planned to wear, so we were a few minutes late.  I don't think she slept well on Friday night, perhaps due to the nap, and it carried over.  We were only semi-dressed up.  Some people in our church dress up and others wear sandals (which, as one person pointed out, Jesus wore).  I don't think Jesus ever said that a person had to dress up for church, so I don't mind if others don't.  But I tend to dress nicely for Easter since it just feels right to me to do so.  Service was good, the gospel was shared, and I talked to a couple of people afterward.  They had cupcakes for Easter and sang happy birthday to Isaac.  Naomi came to us expressing concern that her Sunday School lesson really did not go over the resurrection (but instead went over the link between it and the story of Jonah).  I think she thought her complaint fell on deaf ears, but Manny and I didn't want to make the situation worse by discussing it there.  Next year she'll go into Youth Group, but for now, she has to live with the class being geared toward a younger group.  She was fine after she had some rest and gave Isaac a present and set up a little egg hunt for him.

It was a strange feeling heading home to make Easter dinner.  For as long as I've been with Manny, we've pretty much always gone to his aunt's for Easter.  It used to be an hour-and-a-half drive from our old church, but we'd still go.  They moved back down by Manny's parents last year.  So we'll still see them, but it's bittersweet to lose that Easter tradition.  Manny also had something urgent and had to go into work for a couple of hours, but he finished in time for dinner.  Again I had to manage Isaac and was distracted while cooking and cleaning.  I made a simple ham, potatoes au gratin, and some vegetables.  I need to hone my ham-carving skills.  Everything was cold by the time we sat down to eat, and I realized I didn't make a dessert, but Naomi said a beautiful prayer, and we kept it moving.  It's okay--we had plenty of treats from the day before.

Naomi took him through the line and took this photo.  He is counting up ten eggs.  He was actually supposed to get ten eggs of the same color, but I think Naomi did the right thing not pushing it too much.

Getting goody bags.

Wow, look at that cotton candy!

Off to the Mexican market.

Naomi set up a little egg hunt for Isaac at home.

She got him a few presents.  I like how she can come up with great gifts on a next-to-nothing budget.

\

Our little Easter dinner.  Lucas is standing there, but I threatened to cut him out if he made a face, and he did, so I did.

isaac's captain america party:

Avengers assemble!  Isaac had been asking for a Captain America birthday since last year.  It's funny because he's never really watched or read anything Marvel Universe-related, but he just likes the way Captain America looks.

I cut the invite list and invited toddlers, because I think it was a little chaotic last year.  We still had 20 people, including 12 children, but with the beautiful weather, some could go outside for some space.  With the guest size down and some great coupons, I was able to reduce my workload by ordering pizza from Pizza My Heart.  We had the requisite cheese and pepperoni, and also a supreme combo and chicken/artichoke for variety.  I made a simple berry and marshmallow plate (so thankful for the internet!).  It took me an entire day to make the Captain America cake and cupcakes while trying to transport and set everything up, so I'm glad I didn't have more to do.  Manny didn't get back till 9:30 that night, so he helped me the next morning with the tables and chairs.  His back is a lot better, thankfully.  [Naomi asked me just now why I have an entire paragraph dedicated to party prep.  It's the bulk of my work; that's why]  :)

I keep thinking I'll never work with fondant again, but I just keep simplifying the cakes instead.

Favor bags--Avengers-themed snacks, silly straws, stencils, shooters, and necklaces from Manny's mom from their 4th of July reunion party.  

Favor bags and beverages ready to go.  We had lemonade, clear sodas, and Avengers juice boxes.

Easy berry and marshmallow salad, and I had an extra fondant star I just stuck on top to avoid a Pinterest fail.  :)

Captain America berries, Hulk grapes, and...carrots and celery sticks.

We rented a small play area to put in our clubhouse like last year.  Manny liked the party last year because it was pretty fuss-free.  The kids were inside the play area so he didn't have to worry about watching a bunch of little ones running about or making a big mess like at our other parties.  This year was even better, I guess.  The more the merrier does not apply to his view of children's parties.  :)

The play mats and ball pit arrived early, so Lucas and Isaac played before the guests came.  The pizza came half an hour late.  I tried to keep an eye all on the toddlers, but when the pizza came, I was distracted by it, and one had fallen into the pool for a split second.  Thankfully his daddy was with him and caught him right away.  We enjoyed the cupcakes, but I forgot to cut the cake, so we never served it to the adults.  Someone told me they didn't ask for any because they didn't know the cake was real.  After that, we opened presents, and Isaac was excited about all of them.

He misses ball pits, so I double-checked they would have one again this year.

The first guests arrive.

Peeakaboo!

Always adored by the girls.

Naomi said this was the happiest she'd seen Manny at any of the parties.

Lunchtime.

The older girls decided to have a picnic outside.

The happy birthday boy with his Spiderman jacket over his Captain America shirt.  At this age, Naomi liked Disney princesses, and Lucas liked Thomas the Tank Engine and cars.

Easy craft (less work for me):  superhero masks.

Brother and sister superhero team.

Cake time!

Our family in our Cap/Marvel shirts.

Concentrating hard.

Mission accomplished.

Mission nearly impossible:  a serious photo with the boys.

Present time!

This would have been a great picture with Lucas.

Party's over, but they gave us an extra two hours with the mats due to a schedule conflict.

Aaahhh....

bee field trip / haircut / day with friends:

I sometimes go out with Naomi, and I often get one-on-one time with Isaac, but I rarely get to do much with Lucas alone anymore, except some mornings for school if Isaac sleeps in.  I found this class on bees at a farm in the hills.  It seemed like a perfect opportunity to combine school, fun, and some mother-son time with Lucas.  The programs at the farm sell out quickly or are held on Sundays, which we can't make, but thankfully this one was still open and on a Saturday.  Lucas covered the life of bees last year in school, but it was time for a refresher.  I think it was good for him to just to be able to see the bees up close (behind glass, so no risk of getting stung).  I forgot that Lucas is allergic to certain pollen, and there was a jar of pollen there that was really bothering his nose.  He kept telling me to move "it," but I couldn't figure out what "it" meant in the pile of bee items until a few minutes later.  By then he wasn't feeling great about it and said I had ignored him.  After I moved the jar away, he seemed to feel better.  They warned us that the honey had the local pollen in it, so we chose not to try it.  Lucas later asked to have our raw honey at home, which hasn't caused him any issues, and he was satisfied.

I learned quite a bit, like I didn't know the males looked so much like the queen or that she can determine if she lays male or female eggs.  They're just amazing creatures, from being able to make perfect hexagons (mathematically proven to be the most efficient shape for the wax) to their communicative dance that maps out locations to how they help sustain life through both their pollination and honey production.

Lucas didn't really want to go at first, but he seemed to be enjoying himself once he was there.  He's still talking about it.  I'm sure he felt special getting to go alone and not getting pushed out from under the umbrella by Isaac.  We had to drive over some big bumps and puddles and through curved roads--that was a pretty fun experience for us.  On the way home, he was singing and joking.  He's been a lot happier lately in general.

That morning I had some time to relax and get a haircut.  I like going to this salon school because I can get a good cut for cheap ($15 here), and it's closeby.  I thought I was doing Manny a favor by not getting more than two haircuts a year--he never seemed thrilled about babysitting a screaming Isaac for my haircuts, and our Saturdays were usually filled with what I thought were higher priorities.  But I'm learning to just make time for it.  Manny wanted me to get my hair cut more often so it didn't grow out of control, and I like it because it's easier to manage as a busy mom.  I think I'm over-considerate sometimes with Manny, and it usually backfires.  I should ask what he wants me to do rather than draw conclusions from a previous bad experience.

When I returned, I took Naomi to her classmate's house to work on their science fair project.  They almost finished, but her friend's printer jammed.  They took a walk with her friend's mom around their future middle school and then decided to walk Naomi back here.  Naomi had a really good day, but she was tired, and her legs hurt because she didn't sleep well with the loud rain.

Manny went to get a haircut after Lucas and I returned, and then he went to see a movie and have a bite to eat with a coworker (who's also a Mexican-American married to an Asian woman).

Haircut.

Heading inside on a rainy day for our bee class.

Lucas is in the hood in front of me.  He saw the honeycombs up close and found the queen bee.

Lucas being silly under our umbrella.

what they don't teach in school part 2:

So much for monthly thoughts.  This is a continuation of this post.
(Oops, I published it prematurely and out of order--just updated it below:)

4.  Expand your horizons

When we are judgmental or prejudiced--and I can be guilty of this--our world is too small.  It's easy to judge people based on our own standards.  If we go out and explore, experience, travel, or even just keep reading and learning, we begin to see something--perhaps more humanity, perhaps how limited our thinking and convictions have been.  Even though it was difficult for me constantly move from city to city, state to state, and even country to country as a child, those experiences have helped me become more open-minded and understanding toward others.

Our country seems to have become increasingly divided, and divided we will fall.  However, we will not be able to unify the American people under Christian precepts.  As our friend said, "It's just not the way the world works."  But we also should not live in fear of the changing demographic of our country.  We're often trying to build up shields and walls instead of extending a hand, even though that is the way to make change happen.  Yes, everyone has rights, but it appears even from the recent primary results we're becoming more and more focused on our own, or perhaps many of us always were.  Politicians know exactly how to play into that.

5.  Speak softly and carry a big stick

In my teens, I was simultaneously and paradoxically a quiet loner and a loose cannon, and I had to learn the hard way how far and deeply words can harm.  I think I still struggle with it from time to time, but I have more self-control (or feel more inhibited) now.  Maybe that's why I liked and still like to surround myself with people who have more discretion.  I always admired those who were thoughtful, quiet, and good listeners.  I still go through phases of impetuousness at times, but more in my tone and less in the content of my speech.  As for the "big stick," I know Roosevelt meant military power with respect to foreign policy, but our big stick as Christians is our faith.

Being silent isn't always best, either.  There are always times when one should speak up, contribute, or just be friendly.  We just have to be aware that if we're too busy talking, we're not paying attention or observing.  I think our society tends to revere, at first, those who are self-assure, confident, visible, and even self-aggrandizing.  This is true whether it's an athlete, CEO, politician, or your neighbor Bob.  But why did Jesus retreat to pray after a major gain in popularity?  Why does God in His Word bestow abundant honor upon those in the body who seem to be weak?  I don't think our culture would say humility is something to pursue, but it should be.  Humility leads to growth, and growth leads to humility.  In school and at work I used to have to push myself out there just so I wouldn't be underestimated or passed over.  It feels pretty good to be appreciated, but that's not our motivation.  Quiet people are not necessarily more humble (or more arrogant); a humble spirit comes out in reserved and outspoken people alike.

6.  High school will affect your whole life, but perhaps not the way you would think

It's hard to believe, and sometimes unfortunate, how much of your future can be determined by what you do in three or four short years of high school, some very challenging years for many.  Once you are an adult, you can choose to chuck whatever label you took on or were assigned in those years.  Many of the "jocks" won't remain athletes, and "nerds" are considered much cooler nowadays than when I was one.  :)  You have to not only make lemonade out of lemons, but be thinking about the fruit that the lemon tree will produce for years to come.  Research shows that what we do in our teens affects how we deal with life as adults.  Unfortunately, it also shows that the brain does not mature until your 20s, so you are likely going to make poor and irrational decisions in those years which you may regret.

I don't think parents should baby their children in their teen years, because you need to learn responsibility, independence, hard work, and, in our case, your relationship with God.  On the other hand, if you push a child to grow up too fast, they don't process some of the lessons they need to learn.  However, once someone is an adult, he/she cannot dwell on the past or blame parents for their choices--that's part of maturing and becoming responsible as well.

It's about developing character, decision-making, skill sets, communication, ingenuity, many things beyond just academics, career, or dating.  On the flip side, if a teen neglected her health, made mistakes to fit in or feel loved, and thought she knew better than her parents, it can have a greater impact on the future than she may expect.  I'm speaking from experience.  Teens, try to know who you are early on and not care too much what others think.  Listen to others, but don't worry if people think they are superior to you.  They simply aren't.  Unless you have clinical depression, all hurt is a temporary problem.  And unless you are a phenomenon, chances are that even if you're the best at something in your own circles, there's someone better at it, so don't focus on being better than others, but doing your best.

7.  Learn about mental illnesses and social disorders

I took AP Psychology in high school, at a time when my brother's mental illness was at a peak.  It was very helpful information, but just an elective.  There are many schools which have programs covering mental disorders, but in this era of increased diagnoses, shootings, and greater isolation and individualism, we need to educate people, both adults and children, about how to relate to or interact with someone with mental illness.  Police training should also cover this.  My brother happens to have not had to face off with police, but several times a year, I read about police fatally shooting (or beating, in a recent public case) people with mental illnesses or behavioral disorders.  Even after all this time, I am still uncomfortable around my brother.  I think it is okay to be cautious with them, especially if there are unknown triggers, but it's also important to understand that they are human and should never be treated as anything less.  We're all a little "off" in our own way.

eating out and eating in:

It is a luxury to be able to go out to eat on Sundays, but lately I've been wanting to stay home with Isaac and have the others go without us.  Manny, however, would rather not leave anyone out of a special family time, which makes sense.  It's really the boys being together that make it challenging.  Isaac is a very picky and messy eater, and Lucas is a by-the-book germaphobe, so they clash often over meals and need to be separated.  Isaac likes to be loud and sing about his food, and Lucas likes a quiet meal.  

I communicated to Manny that we should keep our choices to Asian or faster restaurants, because the wait to be seated, the ordering, and the wait for the food can take up to a half-hour or even an hour at certain places.  It opens up room for conflict between the boys.  So, what did he do the next day?  He took us to a restaurant with the trifecta--American, popular, with a wait to be seated.  It was already a long drive there, and there were several groups ahead of us.  I complained, but complaining accomplishes nothing.  Naomi told Manny I didn't want to go there, and he said, "Well, I make the rules...but don't tell Mom I said that."  Haha!  He and I know full well she'll tell me anyway.  He does get to decide, though, because not only is he the head of the family, but earns the money and doesn't get to see the kids much till the weekend.

Manny and Naomi took off to look at the desserts and left the boys with me.  Immediately, Lucas corrected Isaac for not sitting properly and kicking him, so then Isaac screamed a deafening scream, which silenced the restaurant and caused a lot of stares and a couple of comments from other patrons.  I usually take Isaac to the bathroom to calm him down, but this place only had a singular bathroom with three ladies ahead of me.  Eventually I went outside with him.  Naomi came out to console him, and he finally calmed down.  We separated the boys during the meal, and all was well until the last ten minutes or so when Isaac started wanting to use the seats as a jungle gym again.  But all in all, I'm glad we went.  It was nice to see Manny so happy there.

Naomi began buying her lunch daily at school this week.  Being homeschooled, she had a good variety of hot lunches most days, so it was an adjustment having to go from that to the same old sandwiches, fruit or veggies, and chips.  In the beginning of the year, she wanted to pack her own lunches and didn't want me to make bento lunches for her.  She often didn't feel full.  Perhaps between that and seeing what her Asian friends were bringing, she changed her mind about the bentos.  Sometimes I'd make her a big hoagie so she'd feel more full.  She really wanted warmer food, though, especially once winter rolled around.  She isn't so spoiled that she wouldn't have continued with the sandwiches, but I also didn't feel like they had enough protein and nutritional variety anyway.  So I got her a Funtainer thermos and started putting more variety in her lunches--congee, potstickers, chow mein, homemade pizza rolls, fried rice with larger pieces of meat.  She really appreciated it, but I found I was spending more on the extra food than we would be if she just bought a hot lunch at school.  Plus, it required me to set aside extra time to plan, shop, and cook.  Naomi or I would have to heat the food up and put it in the stainless steel thermos in the morning (i.e., the thermos couldn't be put in the microwave directly).  She can also now have milk with her food as well, which she likes.  

The school lunches, probably owing to the First Lady's efforts and the diversity of the area, look pretty decent and nutritious.  The kids get a good variety of choices.  Like today, they could choose between a spicy chicken sandwich, teriyaki beef with rice, a turkey sandwich, and gluten-free cheese pupusa (she chose the beef).  They have sides of coleslaw, crunchy veggies, and/or fresh fruit.  Not bad, right?  Naomi also missed some of the special lunch days this year, like the Super Bowl lunch, and she feels pretty excited now that she can partake of the special lunch on St. Patrick's Day.  So she will spend $15 this week for lunch, but our grocery bill went down by over $30, not including the bulk items like juice boxes or chips I was buying before.

During Naomi's week off, Manny had to go to the doctor for his back, so he suggested we have gelato and roti buns across the street.  He's a nice dad.  I would have just waited in the car if he didn't say anything.  It's pretty stressful to take the boys out together right now.  Here they are happy, but Isaac will begin smearing his ice cream and stressing Lucas out in 3, 2, 1...

Naomi was back in the kitchen during her February break.  She made some yummy butterscotch and peanut butter balls covered in chocolate.

At P.F. Chang's.  Thank you for the giftcard, Grandma!

Isaac made a big mess of all the chopsticks.  I always try to leave a bigger tip.

Lucas with his chow mein.

He only eats noodles and rice.

Pizza rolls made with fresh dough for Naomi's lunch.

Still enjoying my Instant Pot.  Sausage rigatoni in 20 minutes!

Having a hot green tea at the Korean bakery, about to meet with Lucas' former tutor and getting some counseling as well.  I cherish every chance I get to be out for some adult conversation.

Sinigang, a Filipino soup, from the Instant Pot.  The flavor was good, but the shrimp got overcooked.  Would recommend only putting them in for a couple of minutes or cooking them separately.  Only Naomi and I eat shrimp, so it's not something I can make often, but I was so happy to have it again.  It is in honor of my best friend's mom, who used to make it for me, and is currently battling cancer.

Isaac enjoying the special snack at preschool.  I teach about once a month (but I don't do the snacks). 

At Peninsula Creamery.  The kids loved their chocolate milkshake.

Isaac is very happy.

Cheering for his milkshake.  Manny's always happy to see the kids enjoy their food.

Lucas' usual--burger and fries.  They had no kid-sized anything, so he got a huge burger.  Manny and I did, too.  Next time we may go back to turkey clubs, though.

Naomi liked her pastrami Reuben.

We split a cheesecake brownie and an apple pie a la mode.

Isaac didn't want the cookie because it was "too big."  We're still working on eating it after two days.