We continue with more special occasion dining, this time sitting down outdoors at a restaurant. In general I have avoided going out with anyone except Manny, one of the kids, or my one friend O. She and I see each other twice a year at most, and she has to get tested weekly for her work. I have sometimes visited with one or two friends at a distance, and did this month as well. Ironically, Manny and I have eaten out more during the pandemic than any other year since having kids. Either it's because we can or because we should.
For our anniversary, I hadn't planned on making a fancy dinner, but I did end up whipping up something decent. For lunch, I had picked up a club sandwich from Denny's to share. We used to get them at Denny's early on. Actually, when I didn't really know Manny that well, we were having lunch with other classmates in grad school, and he barely ate his club sandwich. I asked him if he was going to finish it, and he shook his head no, so I took it home and ate it! haha We Asians don't waste food! But also, that was one thing we had in common--we both liked club sandwiches. He used to say we were so alike, and it really seemed like it at the time. Even mutual friends said so. But over time, that's proven to not be the case, or we've just changed and grown.
The next day, Saturday, Manny surprised me for our 21st anniversary with a very fancy lunch. I was so unaware that I had stayed outside my friend's house praying with her (so I didn't get his messages at first), and he was telling me to hurry home. So I rushed home and had about five minutes to get ready for I didn't know what. He really spoiled me, taking me to a fine seafood restaurant. I love seafood, he not so much, so I know it was for me. I really enjoyed it. Whoever said the secret to a long marriage is a short memory is probably right. lol But we did talk about some good memories, since the restaurant was close to many of our early dates. I'm still learning the secrets to a long marriage. I know for one thing you have to love yourself and not depend on the other person to fix you or make you happy. If you're Christian, build your relationship with God, and don't depend on the other person for your faith. And don't pretend to be someone you're not to win the other person over. A relationship starts with yourself and your identity. Don't try to gain the world and in the process lose your soul. Our pastor just preached on this just as I had been thinking about it. And of course forgive each other, express gratitude, and don't take the other person for granted. And by all means, try not to say things you don't mean in the heat of the moment.
Isaac has been into astronomy and martial arts lately. He is so fun to talk to, except when he starts analyzing all the things wrong with my personality and goes down the list. That's not so fun, but still very interesting to hear. If anything, I love that he feels safe enough to communicate with me. I know the older two sometimes don't feel that way, but I have worked very hard in recent years to change the way I parent, away from legalism or the way my parents parented and really treating them as human beings with their own thoughts and their own souls, the way we probably should treat everyone.
We were on the hunt for a cat all February for Naomi (and we've found one!). Losing Nacho was very hard for her (and all of us) at the end of an already difficult year. Being home and doing the distanced learning, as well as having so much stuff going on in life and in the world activated triggers, exacerbated anxieties, and exaggerated discomfort and loneliness, especially for Naomi. Or that is my take on it. We are working through a lot right now, and I just remind myself that I was once a teen, and how my parents didn't really take my brother seriously. I want my kids to know I am here and listening, even if it didn't feel that way when they were younger. It's not too late to change. That goes for marriage as well.
Lucas is still loving being at home and not having to deal with the shenanigans of other children. I'm still trying to figure out what is best for him academically and socially. He has a neuropsych appointment coming up to address learning delays and any social disorders. At the start of the pandemic, it was very hard dealing with him. I was so thankful that he and Manny were spending time together, and I got to have a break. But I have to say that right now he is so fun to talk to and be around. We go on walks and hikes, but he likes to do that peacefully and not chatting the whole time. So I started walking with him and Isaac separately. You can raise all your kids the same way and get very different children.
So, I learned a lot and ate a lot and felt a lot better in February. Hopefully I continue to work on myself and just keep growing as a person and not focus too much on other people.
And once again, the photos are in reverse order. I still don't know why it changes sometimes.
