memorial day weekend / misc catch up:

We had a decent long weekend, except that I didn't even realize it was Memorial Day weekend until Friday morning when I got an email mentioning it.  It came early this year.  So I got our days mixed up and Saturday was a little off.  Sunday and Monday were much better.  

Isaac did very well in the nursery, telling me "it was super fun," and Naomi got to hang out with a friend who ended up coming over our place for a while.  Lucas had some discipline issues, and Manny had to miss the sermon to deal with him.  The message, part of a series, was about the need for reconciliation.  I thought a lot about how I've been big on laying down the law with the kids recently but not really being a good example of patience and thankfulness.  Lucas even said he was acting the way he was because I'd yelled at him Saturday night (for pestering his brother), which made me feel very guilty, even if he has to take responsibility for his own behavior.  I've been trying to show Lucas more patience for quite a while now, but after hearing the convicting sermon about the need for confession and reconciliation, I knew that so much more needed to change in how I speak to the kids.  My mind really focuses on putting them in their place when they start acting entitled, but it's not healthy the way I do it.  Sometimes I begin to remind myself of my own parents, and that scares me.  The difference of course is that I always seek forgiveness and reconciliation with the kids, but I just want it to not come to that anymore.  

We took Naomi's friend to lunch and on a quick errand to a sports store, and then she came over to play.  At lunch, Manny asked me if I wanted the mushroom Swiss burger or a pulled pork sandwich.  I don't know why I was a little surprised he knew what I wanted.  Naomi's friend said, "Of course.  He's your husband, and he loves you, and he's supposed to know what you like."  That was sweet.  At our house, her friend mostly just wanted to drive our little car around, the one we got for cheap from Manny's coworker.  Naomi probably envisioned doing something else for those three hours.  She tried to make the most of it, though.  I'm sure she finds it unfair that she has to always prefer others, whether she is the host or the guest, while some of her friends don't seem to have to do that.  She always tries to include others, but sometimes groups of girls aren't that enthusiastic about including her.  She doesn't like talking to me about it.  She wears her heart on her sleeve, though.  Her friend and I did ask her what she wanted to play, but Naomi just kept saying, "I don't know."  She didn't want to speak up and impose, but she was bottling it up only to get overly emotional later.  It's in these moments I see myself in her, and that actually bothers me a lot.  I don't want her to be like me.  At the same time, I understand her more than she thinks I do, and I know we can grow and learn from this.  We had a good talk later that night.  Seriously, sometimes I feel like she's 10 going on 30. 

On Memorial Day (today), Manny took the older kids to the water park at Great America while I stayed home.  I don't know why I kidded myself into thinking I'd get a lot done with a toddler.  I had an added bonus of him crying for two hours about being left behind.  It got to the point where we took a walk around the block, because he was sure they were just out there somewhere even though I said they weren't.  Eventually I was able to calm him down by having him help me cook and giving him sweets (yes, something I would have never, ever done with Naomi or Lucas).  I was able to catch up on a lot of housework and paperwork after that.  It sounds like the kids had a great time with their dad, even though with the age and maturity difference, they'd have to compromise on what they could do.  I made some pork tenderloin and broccolini for dinner, our usual regimen.  I found out from Naomi's friend that she doesn't eat any fruits or vegetables!  I know some people can function fine and be healthy without it (her friend is pretty athletic), but I think with Asian genetics, there isn't any way we could.  That made me feel a little better about the fact that Isaac nowadays only eats tiny carrot sticks, corn, cucumber slices, and olives (and two of those are really fruits).

I also added some miscellaneous photos below from the past two weeks, including school.  Naomi thought the Common Core testing wasn't hard, and she also passed to the next belt in aikido.  I know there aren't supposed to be colored belts in aikido, but I think this school/dojo just does it as a visual symbol and reward.  They demote as well.  We also had our last ISP conference, probably ever.  It went well, but I'll write more about school next time.

Lunch with Naomi's friend M.

Naomi hanging on for a ride.

Manny playing catch with Lucas, Naomi and her friend out, and Isaac playing catch with me while I'm taking the photo.

Manny and the kids off to their fun day at G.reat America.

Isaac very upset he was left behind.

Misc stuff:

The ISP made this cool ocean scene at the school, which some misbehaving kids vandalized over the next two weeks.  Naomi made the jellyfish in the bottom photo on the right, which unfortunately got the worst of the vandalism.

Testing day for Naomi.  She passed!

There was a day of rain!  Enough for Isaac to go out in his oversized raincoat and play.

my cousin t / avengers:

My cousin T. is returning to Taiwan soon after working many years here as a preschool teacher.  I will miss her so much.  She's the only cousin I've ever really gotten to know, and she's a very sweet person.  She's also always trusted and confided in me, which really means a lot.    

Last Saturday morning we met up with Manny's coworker to help T. sell her car to him.  Manny was the one who thought of connecting them so she could get the best offer possible.  We met at Manny's workplace.  Manny and his coworker took the kids inside afterward.  Isaac was being cute and happy, despite being tired, and charmed Manny's coworker.  Manny took the kids to a bakery while T. and I went to the movies.  Manny already went to see Avengers with Chris a couple of weeks before, and this was my turn.  T and I both liked it.  I probably liked it on another level, being a big Marvel fan (but I do feel like there are too many of these movies coming out).  If you've been keeping up with all the Marvel films and the infinity stones, you can see the way they are tied together here.

Naomi told me that when I'm gone she often ends up watching a crying Isaac, and that she has been feeling a bit abandoned lately.  So I have been declining invitations, which makes me kind of sad, but I guess it has to be this way until Isaac gets over his separation anxiety.  Manny never says I can't go, but he doesn't seem too happy when I get back.  Thankfully Isaac doesn't cry in the nursery at church or even when a babysitter was here last.  Maybe it's just seeing me take off and not knowing when I'm coming back, unlike the other situations.  

After the movie, we went to a late dim sum lunch.  There was so much drama surrounding picking a place.  I'll spare you the details, but apparently I was the root cause of all the miscommunication.  Then Manny took us to this new handmade ice cream sandwich place.  Lucas really wanted a cone but didn't ask for one in time, so he ended up with a sandwich he didn't want, and I had to eat it.  It was pretty good but a little sweet.  Lucas and I aren't big dessert-eaters anyway.  I really enjoyed the time I spent with T, but I wish we could have been a bit more pleasant for her.  I don't know what it is, but the kids seem to act up more when their dad is around, or maybe they're just tired during the weekend.  Then he's hard on me because of their behavior, and I have a difficult time dealing with feeling hurt while trying to keep everyone in good spirits.  I just kept trying and praying.  I don't really have much self-confidence, but T. is one of the few wonderful people around whom I feel completely comfortable.  I will miss her and look forward to her visiting in the future.

mother's day:

Super late here, but hope mothers and caretakers felt honored on Mother's Day.  I'm thankful my mom and mom-in-law are still with us and giving us and our children so much of their special kind of love.  It's a day of celebration but also a day of grief for some of my friends and family who have lost their mothers, lost their children, or always wanted to be moms but couldn't.  "Happy" isn't the best choice for some holidays.

I had a pretty nice Mother's Day weekend.  Even though I've been a mother for 10 years, it still blows my mind that I'm a mother.  Growing up, I didn't think about a wedding day or future kids.  I was very focused on academics and career.  I didn't have a strong family environment, so I didn't see having a family as a positive thing.  But by God's grace, here I am, married and raising three kids.  

I took Naomi shopping that Saturday while Manny had the boys.  Often when I'm gone, Isaac cries a lot, and Naomi ends up having to try to comfort him.  This time Manny just took him outside and he seemed to calmed down.  Manny took us out for Japanese food afterward.  Isaac really needed to nap, and after I sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" a bajillion times while pacing back and forth outside, he finally fell asleep.  My seafood noodle soup got a little cold, but I was very thankful to eat it in peace, even if I had to do so while holding a sleeping toddler awkwardly.

Naomi was excited to give me a Mother's Day present on Sunday morning.  She saved up all her reward "money" from her piano teacher to buy me a beautiful jade and silver Chinese mirror (the teacher has a "store"), which was so thoughtful and just perfect.  She made a card with a cute little poem.  I felt so blessed.

At church, they passed out long-stemmed roses to all the moms.  I missed out since I was working in the nursery, but it was just nice to see ladies being honored.  The children made wonderful gifts and cards.  We went out for a Taiwanese lunch and then to the Chinese bakery.  Lucas ate his weight in sauteed udon with meat and vegetables.  We had to order a second one.  Lucas was upset when we didn't one of those large Asian cakes with fresh fruit on top (he misunderstood, thinking Manny had promised him one).

I think the best gift of all was Manny being sweet toward me.  I appreciate gifts and good meals so much, but I would trade any of that for respect.  It's harder to come by now as a mom than when I was in the academica or corporate worlds.  I don't expect it, though, especially since I'm not some phenomenal wife or mom.  However, I'm not willing to leave my calling or create a facade just to receive accolades.

My friend forwarded an encouraging story about "The Invisible Mother."  In it, a woman receives a book about cathedrals from a friend.  She learns how no one knows the names of the builders of these amazing structures, and yet they labored earnestly every day in a task for which they would never receive recognition.  The point is that what others don't see, God sees.  We don't need recognition.  Obedience trumps it.  It ended with this thought:  A mother can touch a whole generation just by loving her own child well.

Japanese food.  Lucas couldn't believe the size of his bento.  I don't think we've ever ordered him his own.

Isaack woke up to noodles galore.  He doesn't eat much else there.

Woke up to a lovely present.

A beautiful jade mirror Naomi "bought" with her piano reward money.

Isaac getting painted for the handprint/footprint Mother's Day card.

At our favorite Taiwanese place.

Isaac admiring the roll cakes.

I chose a slice of mango mousse cake.

A wonderful homemade natural hand scrub the elementary kids made.  Makes my hands so soft!

carlsbad, last day, extra photos:

We had a nice, relaxing last day at the hotel.  I'd had more than my fill and was ready to go home.  Although Lucas would have loved one more jaunt to the beach on the last day, we needed rest, and there was a surf advisory in effect.  A cruise ship had to be diverted the next day, and several emergency rescues were made due to the waves.  

Operation Fridge Clean-Out was in full effect.  We went out for brunch, but had plenty for the rest of the day.  We ate at The Village again and opted for lunch and pie this time instead of breakfast (the right choice).  Their cream pies are pretty good, and this is coming from someone who doesn't care for whipped cream that much.  

Manny took the older kids to the pool for most of the afternoon.  Isaac didn't want to swim, so I had him with me while I packed what I could, and then I took him to the playground and to see everyone.  We had plenty of food left for snacks and dinner.  Manny took Naomi to play ping pong as promised while I had the boys, and then we partook of some of the guest events they had that evening--Bingo Night and a Sundae Party.  I tried to play bingo with Naomi while the boys played ping pong right outside, but Isaac was super tired and kept coming by and crying.  I took him back to the room, and Naomi played my card.  We didn't win, but they gave out consolation prizes from a box.  She dug and found a big swirly lollipop.  She likes to get those whenever we're on vacation.  It was a tradition started by Grandma.  I didn't want to get one, but she got it anyway.  :)    

Isaac was pretty clingy that night, probably overtired from lack of naps, and took a long time to get into a deep sleep.  I didn't get to finish packing till pretty late, but I got it all done after everyone went to sleep.  I work best alone, but it's hard to even find that time (Manny might call that an excuse, but I'm being honest--one of the hard lessons of parenting is trying to maintain control while relinquishing it).  Thank God I was able to get it all done.  I don't like to procrastinate, and I really don't like when Manny's upset that I didn't get something done.  We left at about 6 the next morning, and Isaac and Lucas stayed awake the entire time.  That made the drive feel long for me, but we arrived home safe and sound.  I read about the Pacquiao/Mayweather fight online.  The outcome was disappointing but expected.

At the bottom are some more photos from Manny's phone.  So glad he took these since he got on the rides with the kids, and there was a lot I forgot to mention in the other posts.  I made a huge mistake and deleted some photos Manny needed off his phone after downloading.  We were able to replace them, but they were not arranged as they were taken, and needless to say, he was not happy.  I have fixed so many computers in my adult life and saved so many people's work, but for whatever reason, the one person to whom I am an electronics curse is my own husband.  Many years ago, we got a virus on our computer, and I wiped the computer after only backing up my documents folder.  I inadvertently deleted his most important files, including his resume and his financial files.  I felt like so bad, but this time I felt way worse, because he asked me specifically not to delete the files, and I accidentally did it anyway while allowing myself to be distracted by the boys.  At least we still have the files, but it just was a bad way to start the day.

Isaac having half a taste of my pie.

Lucas likes burgers with just pickles on them.  They didn't have sliced pickles, so he had it with a large pickle on top of the patty.

Naomi had a big chicken sandwich, corn chowder, and a slice of coconut cream pie.  Not sure where it all goes.

Isaac climbing on the playground structure.  It's a metallic playground, so the top and slide were too hot, but we returned later as promised.

Isaac and Naomi relaxing by the jacuzzi

Love my family.

Brought home the veggie chips from the museum.  No one else really liked them, but I thought they were really good.

Naomi's creations inspired by the trip.  There were instructions for the train and crocodile, but she made the birds all on her own (and actually modified the train as well to fit the little Lego people).

This was us having Thai food in the room our first night there.

Lucas steering the Lego boat.

Naomi about to board the Dragon coaster.

Front row, of course!

Wood-fired pizza at Sammy's.

Barbecue lunch the second day at Legoland.  It was good, but I totally forgot about this.

On the Lost Kingdom Adventure shooting game ride.  Manny's good at these games, and Lucas still smoked him.

Lucas was hitting bullseye after bullseye.

I'm Lego Batman.

I'm also Lego Batman.  I think Lucas thought he looked funny.

I'm hungry for pizza!

Our family at the beach.

On the flight simulator with Grandpa.

Spaghetti and meatballs!

S'mores night with a beautiful view of the sunset/ocean.

Build-your-own ice cream sundaes after Bingo.

carlsbad day 6, hike and beach day

The next morning we had to say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa.  The kids were so sad.  Lucas and Naomi had been sleeping in the same bed and waking each other up all week.  I think they finally had it this Friday morning, so we changed the sleeping arrangements that night.  We had brunch at the Village Kitchen & Pie Shoppe, a local diner we liked the last time we were there.  

After the grandparents left, we drove down to Torrey Pines State Reserve to go hiking.  It's a little confusing to figure out from a map which parking lot is the right one, but once you're in, it makes sense.  I originally wanted to do the Guy Fleming Trail just because it was flat, but we decided to just go for it and see how far we could go on the Beach Trail.  We actually made it almost to the end, but the older kids got tired in the heat.  Isaac walked pretty much the entire way and didn't struggle at all on the trail, even going uphill on the way back.  He was pretty proud to walk it himself.  He was more tired than he realized, though, and fell asleep at the beach afterward.

As we started the trail, some returning hikers warned off rattlesnakes that had crossed the path.  That was a little unnerving for the kids, but we just told them to leave them alone if they saw them.  I don't recall ever hiking a desert path before, unless you count a brief walk in Palm Springs.  There were lots of cacti, beautiful red earth (sandstone?), and lizards.  I'm sure the drought has affected the area, but it may not be so noticeable in the desert environment.  The prettiest part was definitely the view of the ocean, even if obscured by the low clouds that day.  I didn't mind it too much; it kept the sun from beating down on us.  The sun came out just as we made our way back uphill to the parking lot.  It was a pretty nice hike, and Torrey Pines is a gem.

Lucas was still asking about the first beach, but we had planned to go to Tamarack Beach instead.  That was the nicest beach of our trip, I think.  We paid for three hours of parking, and they just flew by.  We checked out a boogie board, shovels, sand toys, and beach chairs from the hotel for free.  That made the afternoon even better.  There was a wave advisory for the weekend, so we were glad we squeezed in another day at the beach.  However, Lucas was as disappointed as ever that we never spent a full day back at So. Carlsbad Beach.  He was still hoping we'd have several hours there after we ate dinner.

We splurged for dinner and went to Vigilucci's, a fine Italian place.  It was actually Naomi's idea, as she wanted to go back to the place she first had calamari (she seems to have a strong memory for those kinds of things).  That would be a date for Manny and me, even with the distractions.  I inhaled my sea bass and risotto, and Manny liked his pork chop special as well.  Manny got the kids ice cream, even though I thought it was a little over the top, but hey, we're on vacation.  Naomi was happy, though.  She traded in her rewards for a family ice cream trip, and I guess she finally got it.

After dessert we did return to Lucas' favorite beach to watch the sunset and told him he could step in the water, but he was so disappointed we didn't get there when the sun was up.  This was also because Manny had promised it to him without realizing what he was promising.  One thing about our kids that is like me--they don't forget intentionally broken promises.  My father always promised me lots of things to placate me or get me to do something, and then would hope that I would just forget about it.  But the words, "I promise"--kids do not easily forget that, and I'm not sure why some adults think they do.  I finally got Lucas to tell me what he really wanted, which was to relive that time of running with Naomi in the water at sunset, but to have the entire day there.  He calmed down after I explained that the stones were painful for Naomi to run on and that she didn't really like that.  I also had to tell him that there was just a misunderstanding about the promise, and that Manny didn't mean to hurt him.  

I was upset at his attitude and lack of appreciation, but I really felt for him as well.  Unlike his parents and siblings, Lucas usually wants to do the things that he really likes again and again and back to back.  At Legoland, he didn't get to ride his favorite boat ride twice in a row, and now he didn't get to go to his favorite place a second time (but bigger and better).  Because he's lonely and special, I wish I could have given that to him, but because we have so many others to consider in the family, we can't always drop everything else for him.  Due to the wave advisory the next day and needing to rest before the drive back, we didn't go back.  He still had a lot of fun at the S'mores Night and ping pong that night, and often being denied what we want helps us to better appreciate what we have.

The S'mores Night put on by the hotel was complimentary, and the kids got to roast marshmallows and then put whatever candy they wanted in the s'more.  Naomi chose Crunch, which gave it a fun texture, and Lucas went with the standard Hershey's.  Isaac had a couple bites of a marshmallow and was happy.  Then we passed by the game area and tried to play ping pong and shuffleboard, but it was hard with Isaac there.  We were also really tired, so we had to call it a night and continue the next day.

I wanted a pic of all three kids in their PJs, but Lucas was off doing his own thing.

Yep, everyone's eating, and I decide to take a photo.  Typical.

Isaac ready to go hiking!

We're on our way!

All the cacti was very interesting for the kids.

With the ocean behind us.

Very pretty cliffs.  I think this is Red Butte (yes, amusing), but I'm not sure.

A rest stop for the kids.

A kind lady offered to take our photo and did a great job!

The sun came out as we neared the parking lot and end of our hike.

Naomi ready with her boogie board.

She likes to bury herself in the sand.

Making sandcastles.

Lucas made his close to the water to watch them get destroyed by the waves.

Isaac joined in but got very nervous as the tide got higher.

Naomi had a great time.

Putting Lucas to work

Naomi got her calamari.

Isaac got his pasta.

Manny looking handsome as usual.

I think I enjoyed mine a little too much.  Yes, we use that spinning toy for Isaac after almost two years.

Dessert

Manny and the kids roasting marshmallows at the poolside firepit.

Yum!

Pretending, attempting, struggling to play ping pong.

Shuffleboard was fun.