nami charity walk:

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to join my friend in a fundraiser walk for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which provides services and support for those affected by mental illness.  Her brother took his own life after a long batter with mental illness, so we walked in memory of him.  Some of you know whom I would be walking in honor of, although that person has asked that I longer mention it online due to how it creates a poor reputation.  That's exactly the stigma we are trying to eliminate.  Many people don't get treatment because of the stigma, or they don't tell anyone because of the stigma.  The speaker, an author and a professor of psychology from Berkeley, talked about his father's battle with mental illness, how he felt he couldn't discuss that with anyone or would be unable to go forward in his career, and how when it comes to funding, support, and research for diseases, we fall short when it comes to mental illnesses and disorders.  It's true, though--for example, if someone has cancer, there is more understanding, sympathy, and grace, but if someone is revealed as having a mental illness, he could lose a job opportunity, be shunned, or even targeted.  So, we are trying to change that with events like these.  

It was also encouraging to see the different Asian groups that walked or were represented.  In the Asian community, the stigma or denial can be even stronger, or at least that's what I've seen with my culture.  We heard of so many tragedies that morning, we've heard in the news what happens when people feel hopeless.  They may not know what help is available for them, and may believe a person with such an illness will never have a life worth living, especially in a culture where so much identity is put into one's mental capacities and career.  

So after the introductions, speech, parade of team captains, and warm-up, we finally began the walk, two hours after I'd arrived!  My friend's father is older and disabled, so we cut through a steeper and windier part of the walk.  Her cousin brought her beautiful husky-golden retriever mix.  I enjoyed the walk, and every now and then got to pet the dog.  Dogs do wonders for mental health as well, at least in my experience.  Speaking of which, I went to my friend's parents' house afterward and got to meet their dog as well.  Most dogs seem to take to me.  I hope that will be the case with our dog (yes, we have a new dog!  More on our new puppy later).  It was a good day, and it was encouraging talking to people who have been through similar experiences with family members or in their own journeys.  I hope that we can continue to stamp out stigma.

  

Special appearances from Miss Silicon Valley and Sourdough Sam.

The speaker, Dr. Hinshaw, gave a powerful speech.

My friend hugging the emcee and about to introduce our team.

The Aztec dancers walked with us.

We stopped at a water fountain for the kids.  Olaf was excited and ready to go in, but we were told by the police he couldn't.

He was a good boy and just stood watching.

The kids enjoying themselves.

My friend and me.  We dressed in Hawaiian gear for the event.  I'm also wearing a water bottle holder that my friend got me.  It was handmade by a Hmong person and part of an effort to create jobs to stop human trafficking.

Enjoying my company at the after party.

cc weeks 4 and 5:

I'm combining these two weeks, because I can't take too many photos while I'm tutoring the class.  I'm sad I don't have photos of Lucas, but I hear he's doing well in his class.  He usually tells me afterward how stressed out he is in his classes, but he suppresses it while he's there.  Isaac, on the other hand, has to talk it all out, but he's getting a little better about that.  

Week 4 was probably the worst week I've had with Isaac having constant meltdowns the entire time we were there.  During morning assembly, I have to review the history timeline every four weeks, and Isaac just ran up there and started pulling on my shirt, at one point lifting it up (and there were two dads there).  Somehow he calmed down during presentation time, and at the end, when one of the moms held him without letting go, and had him count to 10 to calm down, and he counted to 390 or so before he finally did.  There is a mom there, very gentle, whom he really likes, but she was working in the nursery that week, and the other moms aren't as gentle.  I'm not actually that gentle with him at home, but when I'm there teaching, I'm trying to decide about making him hysterical vs. just addressing and validating his feelings.  That week, I chose to pull him out and discipline him several times, which made things harder for everyone.  The other moms had to step in and try to keep things going, or when they pulled Isaac out, he'd be punching and kicking.  The director pulled him aside, and he told her that he was punishing me for ignoring him so much that morning.  When I am busy getting things ready, I don't have time to stop and listen to him to the end, because he talks nonstop.  I have to transport a rolling carrier, giant tri-fold board, supplies, toys, games, lunches, backpacks and get there a half-hour early.  While Lucas always helps me, he can forget things, and Isaac can only carry his backpack and maybe one small item.  I also have to take these up the stairs to the classroom and set it up since we rent this facility, so it takes quite a few trips.  I had already spent some one-on-one time with him in the days prior, but I'm sure that wouldn't make up for ignoring him in his eyes.  I got ignored all the time as a kid, maybe even neglected, and it bothers me when the kids need so much attention.  But then I remember how hard it was for me that my parents almost never listened to me and my brother when we were young, so I try to keep those communication lines open.  

For week 5, I let him sleep in the car and when we first got there, and then I had him help me set up the classroom in the morning.  His favorite mom was also back.  It seemed to go a lot better, except that I took one of his stuffed animals, a duck, and strangled it in plastic rings to show what happens to animals with trash in the ocean.  He was so traumatized.  I really should have thought that through a little more.  I'm debating resorting to treats to get him to quiet down, but for now, I'm just working with him on expectations, and how I have the teacher hat on and not Mommy hat when I'm teaching.  Still, I get a lot of encouragement from the moms and the director that I've made it very organized this year.  Aside from Isaac, we haven't had any real disruptions or fighting.  There are two little girls in class who are already good friends, and I separate them.  I assign seating very strategically.  Like with most things, I can manage other kids better than my own, but I continue to work with my kids and never give up on them or myself.  I also have to remember that kids are expected to behave wherever they go, and they need a safe place to talk about their feelings.  I have been a safe place for them, and I don't want to take that away.  I don't think Manny or I or many kids from our latchkey generation had that growing up, so now many of us have become full-time parents or erring on the side of helicopter parenting or coddling.  I do not believe in babying my children, even though with Lucas, he does legitimately have special needs, and early on I thought it was defiance and punished him way too much.  I have a lot of regret about that now.  So as a parent, you just cannot swing to either extreme, but be temperate as with most things.  

Some of the parents asked me about the toys and games I'm bringing to class, like am I spending that much on it?  I've said, "No, it's from their Grandma" probably dozens of times now.  :)  Grandma is really generous to our kids, and I'm very happy to put these toys and games to good use.  Isaac is happy to share them with the class, too.  

The boys did the jello animal cell model...with candy!  With Naomi, I made her use dried pinto beans, because she wasn't allowed candy at home.

They brought it to their class to present on it for Week 4.  This is about the only time Isaac was this calm that day.

Week 5, drawing the Taj Mahal as a study on perspective, since it often pictured with sort of a vanishing point in the center.  I also taught them how to transform 2D shapes to 3D with lines (shading and forms I'd probably do in the future).

I usually give the kids a little license with art time, like Isaac wanted to make paned windows and steps instead of the holes and waterway.

The kids all wanted a turn cleaning the table.  Love it!

We're past the first month, so I'm starting to break out more of our games for review time.  The kids loved Pop the Pig!

outings:

I am so thankful to be able to get out more often now without guilt or worry now that the kids are more independent.  My Saturday mornings are my rest time for the week, even if I'm doing work.  I need to be alone to think, process, and refresh, and I'm thankful Manny allows me to have that.  I also got to go out with him for some Taiwanese food after our counseling appointment, thanks for patient friends who watched Isaac for a little longer than planned.  Then I got to make it for part of a Moms' Night Out with ladies from one of my moms' groups whom I really enjoy being around and getting to know better.

Turkey bacon and egg white on an English muffin and first time having a chai latte with almond milk (a bit too sweet, to be honest).

Coffee with my friend from church, P.  We live kind of far from each other, so met at a halfway point about 20 minutes from both of us.

Out for Taiwanese food.  The fried chicken cutlets were fantastic.  Everything else was good, but not as good as my mom's.

Getting ready to see some friends.  Even though I couldn't make it till 8:30 and could only stay for an hour, it was great!

Hello Kitty Cafe about to close--will I make it?

Lovely time with lovely ladies.  I already ate, but I helped them out with the sweet potato fries.  😋

I left for ten minutes to go to HK Cafe five minutes before closing.  Got cookies for the kids, but it was more to check out what they had.  I hope my best friend can come visit me sometime so I can take her.

egyptian museum field trip:

Last Friday, we went to a field trip with some of the other CC families to the Egyptian Museum.  I'd been wanting to go for the longest time, and especially this school year since we are studying ancient civilizations and modern countries and cultures.  Naomi went for a school field trip already.  I will definitely be back again, maybe even on my own.  I won't post most of the photos of other kids, whether in our group or the other field trips.  I thought I saw my friend's daughter in a worker's uniform, and it turns out it was her!  Small world.    

The facade looks smaller than it is in this photo, but it was quite impressive to me.

I enjoyed our walk through a number of paths and gardens to get to the entrance from the parking across the street.

Senet, an Egyptian game Naomi and I played with pieces of paper.  Would have come here if I knew they had a real one.

The library had cushions and curtains I assume common to the Egyptian culture at some point.

Egyptian relief.

An Egyptian god/idol.

Replica of a pyramid.

Pharaoh statue.

There were real mummies, including this one which appeared to be the mummy of a child.  I took a photo from the side here of the x-ray, but you could actually see the full mummy from the top.

Entrance to the tomb, which was really neat.

Isaac enjoyed the tomb a lot, but Lucas not so much.  He felt a little nervous and claustrophobic, but braved another trip through it.  Isaac probably would have gone through several more times if that weren't the case.

Statue at the lobby area.

Ancient world map, similar to what we're studying, with locations of the different empires and archaeological sites that light up when you push a button.

A model of the Tower of Babel.  We don't know exactly what it looked like.

Similarly, a model of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, which we know existed, but we don't have an exact depiction of one.

Hammurabi's code, the Babylonian Law.  Ancient/Medieval History was one of my favorite classes in school.  This really brings me back.

Group photo minus two kids who had to leave early.

misc school stuff:

There was a threat made against Naomi's school this past week.  The student was taken into custody, it was investigated, and no safety concern was found, thankfully.  Prior to that another student from her school had apparently been caught on video as participating in a burglary, but due to his being a juvenile, no further information was released.  Yes, this is the socialization people were telling me she needed.  Sure.  And guess what?  Two of the strongest voices among my friends advocating I put her in school were from moms who ended up pulling their kids out of public school and putting them in private Christian schools.  And yet, here she is in public school and bringing friends to church, perhaps after she had been given some equipping and foundation.  Sometimes people have some pretty strong opinions about the way your life should go having never walked a step in your shoes, but I say you do you, whoever you are, and do what God leads you to do, whatever that may be.  

Naomi's really enjoying her Culinary Arts class, and sometimes we get to enjoy it, too, if she has any extra goodies to share.  She's talking to me about prepping her mise en place and making roux, so I know this is more than a standard home ec or cooking class, but a full-on culinary course.  For all the things I've taught her, I still haven't taught her how to wash and cook rice, but it should be easy enough after this class.  I told Lucas he has to learn to cook eggs soon.  I know he's nervous with the salmonella and all, but we're doing this!  

Isaac's doing great with his first year of structured homeschooling.  Math is pretty easy for him, and he's reading more and more, but his handwriting is still very unsteady.  He's only five, so it'll get better.  He forgets how to write a letter right after he just wrote it correctly not two seconds before, which is interesting considering how excellent his memory usually is.  So Naomi struggled with math at 5, Lucas struggled with identifying letters and reading (but picked up writing more quickly), and Isaac seems to struggle with handwriting.  Every kid is so different!  Now, Naomi is two years ahead of her grade standard in math.  Who knows if that would be the case if we didn't work through all her math struggles in homeschooling.  Homeschooling is not just academic--you are teaching them virtues and helping them develop their character.  She still doesn't like math, but she's killin' it.  I don't advocate homeschooling in general, to be honest.  Only if you are called to it.  But I'm done apologizing for it.  The one other homeschooler at my church told me I often seemed apologetic for it when she'd see people at church questioning me about it.  I guess because I felt I kept getting beaten up over it, and at time it was so challenging homeschooling Lucas, but she encouraged me to stand firm in the decisions and sacrifices I've made.  Yes, indeed.  I am there now.

Naomi's group's excellent blueberry muffins.

The boys got their IDs for their school satellite program.  Isaac was so excited and talked everyone's ears off about it.

Naomi continues to nail the standardized tests, even though tests are not her thing.  Super proud of her as always, but I am no longer a Tiger Mom, so I tell her that as proud as I am, I love her regardless of what the numbers say.

farewell potluck / nami walk gathering:

Since I was out on Saturday morning, I thought I should order groceries from Safeway, including ingredients for an antipasto platter I was making for a potluck on Sunday.  It was to save time, but ended up being a bad idea.  I ordered it for Friday evening.  The driver called and said the store was delayed in getting my order to him.  Okay, that's fine.  Then he called again and said he had to cancel the order, because now he could not make it to me in time and reschedule asap.  Customer service closes an hour before the last delivery drop-off, so he tried to tell me in time, which he did.  I called to reschedule for the next day at 1-2 pm, after I got back from the baby shower.  By 2:30 pm, no one had called or shown up yet, so I called and was put on a long hold (by the end of this, I had been on hold for a total of two hours).   They said there was a delay, but "are sure it'll be there by 4:30."  4:30 rolled around, nothing.  I called customer service again, and they said the groceries had been loaded but they could not get a hold of the driver, but again assure me "most likely 5:30."  That ETA came and went, and again nothing.  This time, I was on hold for almost an hour before someone answered.  They gave me $20 for my trouble, but of course, I would have rather been able to cancel and go get it myself.  However, because they could not reach the driver, he or she is going to deliver anyway.  So I sat around waiting.  Finally, after 7 pm (which was essentially a 24-hour delay, and my family had been eating frozen food and sandwiches for two days), they are delivered...and half the items are missing.  I had to go to the store anyway!  And so I did, and I was thankful I could.  I had to stay up to prep food and get up early the next day to finish, but I'm thankful antipasto isn't too hard to make, and that I was assigned a side dish rather than a main one.  I think what they should do is maybe GPS tracking for the drivers or some way to make sure they can contact them.  Like if they are driving, having a cell phone isn't good enough if they can't answer it.  Maybe trucks need to be equipped with hands-free systems or something.  And if the stores are delayed, that they have a quick way to enter that in the database for the driver and customer to see.  Most other delivery services are not this inefficient, although I get that Safeway is a large store with large truck and large deliveries, so not any person can do it.

The potluck went okay.  Naomi ate with her friends and then another friend picked her up to go to the Art & Wine Festival.  Manny didn't eat, not sure why.  Sometimes it's because he feels there isn't enough food and he doesn't like to clamor for anything.  I had to get to another event, so I could not stay for the send-off, but I went to their house the following Tuesday (last week) to help pack and say goodbye.  

At my friend's house, the boys played in the backyard and ate while I played with the dogs and ate.  I got to know her family and others walking with us to increase mental health awareness, remove stigma, and raise funds for services.  We are walking in memory of my friend's brother.  If you'd like to donate, drop me a message or email.

Sorry for the weird angle.  Easy antipasto—mozzarella fresca, cherry tomatoes, baby bella mushrooms, natural olives, thick pepperoni, chopped prosciutto, garbanzo beans, artichoke hearts, and pepperoncini on the side (for those who don't want the spicy mixed in).

I just arrived, and the dogs were ready for some petting and cuddling.

Snacks for the party.

I can't remember which one is Pepper and which is Brutus, but one of them just got in my lap and lay down.  Dogs have been coming to me everywhere I go.  Maybe they sense that I need some comfort sometimes.  They are wonderful.

Tree swing!  Lucas was a little too big, to his disappointment.

Team Aloha!

The boys happily eating carrot cake.

Naomi came back from the festival with treats for the boys.

Saying farewell to my friends the day before they left for Oregon.