rambling about the wknd, parenting:

It's Monday morning, time for the Monday Morning Test.

Weekend:
On Saturday, I went to a women's workshop while Manny was working on the nursery. Then we had one errand after another to run. The Oscars were entertaining, even though I haven't seen any of the main nominated films except Ray (but I did see White Chicks - haha). Spiderman 2 was a great film that should have had more nods, IMO. Next on our rental list are Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Supersize Me.

Baby Talk:
The restroom will probably be the "potty" for the next few years and every fuzzy thing, including the 20+ blankets we have received so far as gifts, is going to have a nickname. (We're not returning or regifting any -- we're thankful, even with 2 more baby showers still coming up, which will likely mean more blankets). Can anyone help me out with some good uses for blankets other than the obvious?

We're planning on doing the baby sign language thing using good ole standard American sign language. I'm sure it'll help with reducing the crying. That was brought up at a parenting class/discussion I attended on Saturday.

Homeschool:
I also attended an intro to homeschooling class/discussion. It's a long ways away, but I'm pretty excited about it. What a change of heart I've had over the last few years. I used to judge homeschooled kids, thinking they were all weird and socially inept, but I can see from many people I know now that it doesn't have to be that way. And homeschooling itself seems to have gained ground in recent years.

I was actually homeschooled for a few months by my mom when we came to America to learn English (and a lot of math). When I got put into public school in the first grade, even though I'd skipped ahead a grade, I still felt like we were just repeating the same things for the next few years. And it's not because I was smart. Plus, my brother and I got into so many fights with the other kids, I didn't pay much attention anyway. Thank goodness for the library and PBS so I could learn something new. I think if it seems right to us, we'll be allowing our kids to go at their appropriate individual pace. As for racial fights, I don't think it would be like that here in California like it was in Nowhere, Delaware, but elementary-level reading, grammar, and arithmetic are key foundations that don't need distractions.

It probably would be easier for me to send them off to elementary school than to be around them all day, settling arguments while trying to finish chores, teaching them about God while having to apologize for my own mistakes, and just having all that responsibility to ensure they have social interaction and actually see the world. But it just seems so rewarding. I guess if I continue this blog, you'll find out if I'm right.

Meet our new "nephew," Jack. A little surprise from Manny's sister's bf. Hopefully, he'll be stopping by to visit his new cousin in the future. :) 

Congratulations, Israel & Annette! Welcome, Baby Josiah! (the date on the photo is not the real date) 

Happy Birthday, Mom! 

Spring is in the air...our camelia bushes are growing out of control from all that much-needed rain. 

Passing Time:

Week 32:
Less than 8 weeks to go! The baby is very active now, obviously not affected by my cold. The doctor said the only medicines I should take (if I am not getting better) is Robitussin for a cough, Tylenol for aches, and Benadryl for congestion. I only have the congestion now, and Benadryl makes me drowsy, so I'll pass. We now have three rooms full of baby stuff. She's taking over already! I have a feeling that I will be renaming this blog to "Adventures in Baby-Rearing" or something like that. It'll probably be hard to think of much else for a while. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. As long as God is central and my husband takes priority (our relationship with our kids can depend a lot more on our marriages than we realize).

Friends Till the End?:
A friend gave me a birthday card, and in it, she wrote about how our memories together are starting to fade. It sounded so morbid to me. I knew our friendship couldn't be the same as it was once I moved away. But I still consider us closer than sisters. It bothers me when she says things like that, not because it's wrong, but because it makes our friendship seem less than it is. Once I moved away and got married, it's not like I started to neglect my friends. Actually, I started appreciating them even more because a lot of them/you are so far away now. But I guess that's not what she really means. She probably means how we can't physically hang out as much anymore. And she's never really been into email for a number of reasons, and she says she doesn't want to bother me, so I usually call her. But when we talk, it's like we just picked up where we left off, at least it was that way to me. Maybe I'm thinking about it the wrong way, but I thought she'd understand that I'm making so much effort because I value our friendship. People grow and things change, but that doesn't mean they have they have to grow out of a friendship. But is she saying I left her behind?

Anniversary in Soak Cal:

The weather was wild this weekend - if you were on the road or saw those funnel clouds on TV, you had to feel a bit small. We sure did. And I caught a cold, too. But we still had a fantastic weekend with our family and friends. Here are some of the photos (will open in new window):

2005 Photos, So Far

Friday night, Manny's aunts and cousin came over to help cook for the baby shower. Stella brought a DVD of the slideshow from Artie's funeral. It's strange to feel so much grief and yet smile and laugh at the same time. It seems so surreal.

Saturday was the day of our first baby shower. I was kind of glad they put me to work with the food and wrapping up all the prizes. I felt spoiled enough as it was. About 30 or so women came, including Frances, who is due with her second son a week after me. I can't begin to describe the generosity of Manny's family. I'm so thankful he was at least there when we opened presents so someone could look excited. I don't show emotions in group settings very much, and I wish I knew how to express to everyone how overwhelmed I was, but all I could do was say smile and say thank you. But Manny tore at all the big gifts and made people laugh. He kept asking, "What if it's a boy?" when we got one cute girly outfit after another. Manny's mom was right -- the family really wanted to get the larger gifts. We got a travel system, musical bassinet, convertible car seat, and other large items I thought were too "luxurious" to put on the registry. Wow. Manny's sister Dolly takes the cake for the baby shopping spree. I was planning to take pictures of the baby with the items we received to send to the gift-giver. I'm not sure if that will be possible with the volume of gifts she gave.

Sunday we were supposed to go to the Chinese New Year's festival in Monterey Park with my mom and brother (my dad had other plans), but it was cancelled due to the weather. So we went to lunch instead. We burnt holes in our tongues with the spiciest Szechuan food I've ever had in my life. It was good, though. On the way back, my mom slipped on the wet sidewalk. And she fell again at home later that night. It's difficult for me to watch her continue to age. And to not think of my dad's contribution to that.

Later that afternoon, we went to see Manny's friend Chris and his girlfriend Orlie. We missed them last time because of Manny's 24-hour stomach flu. I wish we could've stayed longer, but we had to get home (plus car theft isn't too uncommon in that area). Cecille came over to visit and drop off some gifts while we watched a special on gorillas. In the documentary, they put a mirror in front of the baby gorilla, and it stuck one leg up in the air and then looked at its butt. Their comment was that he was amazed at parts he didn't realize he had. Bwahaha!

Monday we prayed for the trip home and started driving back at about 6am. The drive started out scary with the wind and rain, but going up the interstate, it wasn't bad at all. We made it back in one piece, with most of the gifts crammed into our compact car thanks to Manny's giftedness in organization. I think the baby will have it pretty good. :) (Unless it turns out to be a boy -- we only have one boy's outfit courtesy of Dolly's bf -- then he will just have to learn to like pink).

Tanjoubi omedetou, Tiffany-chan! (it was Saturday) 

How sad. The WB folks have decided to turn the beloved Bugs Bunny into the creepy Buzz Bunny. Looney Tunes will now be Loonatics. Looney Tunes was a classroom to me as a child -- I learned English, art, classical music, and history (albeit sometimes inaccurate). Oh, what a world, what a world. 

Yesterday, Today, Five Years:

The answer given by Mensa for yesterday's question is 96 cents. I can't figure out how they got that.

I had two doughnuts and a sliver of apple pie this morning. Shame shame. But I'm the one with the table in my cube, so when people bring food, it ends up being so readily accessible...but I plan to eat lots of Chinese broccoli for lunch to make up for it!

Manny and I leave tomorrow for our trip down south to see our families, celebrate the baby, and our fifth anniversary! Five years this Saturday! The time went by so quickly! Except for the first two months after our honeymoon, when we were "adjusting" -- that was the low and slow point.

We usually take a vacation every anniversary - Orlando, Kauai, Mexico, and Europe (which we delayed for the weather). But this year, it'll be a baby shower with Manny's family. And that's a bigger event than the vacations. I think Europe was the last time we'll take a major trip for a while, mainly because of finances. It was great while it lasted, but I'm looking forward to a new chapter.

For the Dogs, Week 31, Brain Teaser

A couple more reasons to love February: The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and Black History Month!

Doggies!:
What is the allure of dog shows? They're pageants, after all...obsession with genetic perfection and full of masked disappointment. And the "fair" part is actually the unfair part to me -- the dogs are judged against the breed's specifications and not against the other dogs. So you'll probably never see a Shiba Inu (one of my favorites) win against a poodle. But alas, the allure is the fact that dogs are so darn cute. Even the ugly ones (like this year's winner). Those official names are so strange, but I guess it's for uniqueness. Like the Setter named Ch Brentwood's Dimpled Chad.

Pregnancy, Week 31:
It's getting harder to be mobile. I roll out of bed in the morning, but I can't even roll properly. If you've seen Princess Bride (I know some of you are thinking, "Who hasn't?"), there's a part where Westley is mostly dead, and he struggles, rocking his shoulder, until he finally swings his dead arm around. It's kind of like that.

There is a lot more paperwork and policy involved than I thought there would be. And I have quite a few things left to do that I keep forgetting about. Now would be a good time to have a PDA (Pregnancy Debilitation Assistant) if I were willing to pay for one. But I found a nice site online - tadalists - to keep track of the big-ticket items.

Mensa Puzzle:
We've been completing the Mensa daily puzzle calendar Cecille gave us, but one question stumped us:

"Rachel wanted to buy some candy for Mardi Gras. She drove a hard bargain. If she had paid four more cents per hundred, she would have gotten five less. What is the price per hundred of the candy?"

Manny got a different answer than the one given, and it seemed to work, so was there a typo? Me, I'm just confused about the variables (I'm much faster with word puzzles). Anyway, try it and see if you get the answer. I'll post the Mensa answer tomorrow.

31. Week 31, 31 lb weight gain. 

equilibrium (part 2 from yesterday):

Re: our relationships with people that aren't in the same boat -- we just have to get that balance right. One (or a couple or a family) shouldn't be exclusive, but there's nothing wrong with forming a special bond with certain people based on being able to relate to one another.

I remember back some years ago when I was at a baby shower and the women were discussing nursing. I was unable to contribute, but was enthusiastically listening, learning a lot. Until one of the ladies said, "Oh, sorry, Amy, we're talking about things you don't understand." Attribute it to my oversensitivity, but I was somewhat offended at the time. Maybe events like that have helped teach us be more considerate. On Sundays, Manny goes to talk to the African-American janitor of our church, who also became a member. I don't really see anyone else go up to sit by him or talk to him, so in some ways, it has encouraged me to be grounded and accepting of all people. And to never act out of mere pity.

I know Manny doesn't like me to talk about him too much, but this is something that comes to mind: Manny has a friend that is paraplegic (maybe some of you saw him at our wedding?). My family may admire Manny for embracing a person with this condition, because they feel sorry for his friend. However, what I've learned from observing their interaction is that Manny treats him just like anyone else, just like any friend. Of course, not in the sense that he'll say, "Let's run a marathon together," but there's no hint of pity or guilt for that person.

Disclaimer here: I think Manny and I, him being shy and me being a nervous wreck sometimes, struggle a lot with approaching people or being approachable, so this is a constant work in progress for us.

So that's the balance - you don't want to say, "Wow, we should have single men over because they don't get a home-cooked meal very often" (so not true) and you don't want to say, "Let's just have married couples who are expecting over because then we'll have something to talk about." It's kind of extreme, I'm sure we aren't like this all the time, but just sometimes. Equilibrium = a balance between opposing forces, static or dynamic. One of the few fun things I learned in chemical engineering.

Last night, we had a Valentine's Dinner not for two, but for three (well, four if you count the baby, thanks Kevin). We went out to The Spice Islands Cafe for Singaporean/Malaysian cuisine. This restaurant gets a big thumbs up. The roti prata bread -- it's like zua-bing, but better. Everything was so fresh. I can't vouch for everything on the menu, but we had the roti prata, chow kueh teow, sizzling black pepper beef, Hainanese chicken (a quarter portion was enough for the three of us), and mango shrimp. Please, get these dishes if you ever have a chance to eat there. Email me if you'd like to know where it is.

We got Lora a dozen roses for Valentine's. It doesn't seem strange to me that we do things like that until I talk to people about it. I guess we do invite people on vacations with us. It's not that we don't like to be alone, but special occasions seem to be more special with some company.

Speaking of being alone, I keep thinking about something one of the guys said during our lunch on Saturday. It seemed that a pet peeve of his was when he went to weddings, and instead of asking about his spiritual or physical life, people would ask about his dating life. Manny and I don't touch that subject -- we're usually the odd men out in a sea of single people anyway. But I sensed it was something that had been bothering this person for a while. I think people mean well when they ask, but maybe they could be more considerate.

He also mentioned that in our church, there seemed to be a high standard to be met: married, living on one income, with at least 3 kids, and a nice house. I haven’t felt any kind of pressure like that, but there just happen to be a number of “visible” families who have been blessed to remain in the bay area, even on one income. Maybe people put that pressure on themselves. I admit I coveted that life for a few months: The house with the big backyard, married with 2.5 kids, the minivan, you know -- the "American Dream." I thought my heart was in the right place in wanting a bigger place where guests would feel more comfortable and I thought I’d find more fulfillment than my current job by becoming a mother. Then I got over it. And after I did, we purchased a townhome, got pregnant, decided to go down to once income, etc. Exactly what I didn't even think about anymore. Another lesson in life.

Life isn't about achieving the American dream, despite what you hear everyday. If you have it, great. If you don't have it, great. It doesn't make you who you really are. My parents used to say that it did matter, that if you changed how people judged you through your external possessions, that that would make you a better person inside. I know when I was younger, I tried so many times to change my outer self so I wouldn't be so misunderstood, but then I didn’t even know my inner self anymore. I let other people decide for me and things became even worse. What’s a cake that’s all icing?

Part 2 tomorrow.

Us at Lora's. 

Manny with Lora at her house after dinner at the Spice Islands (highly recommend). 

Lunch at our place with Keith, Calvin, and Lik-See. Tulips courtesy of Manny.

the good, the bad, and the ugly of food.

We're having Lik-See and Calvin (for GOC'ers - remember Calvin?) over tomorrow for a simple Chinese lunch (beef noodle soup, daikon cake, and whatever goodies they bring as well). We invited Sam, but he's going home for Chinese New Year. Apparently, his family is more important than we are! >:P j/p Tiff's going snowboarding, of course, and I'm waiting on one more person to respond. It's a big deal because we probably won't have any friends over for a while. I guess I should get some more rest and give Manny time to work on the nursery and guest room. I'll miss having company around the table -- food is a blessing, but so is so much that comes with it.

Speaking of which, Sunday, we'll be having an early dinner with our awesome realtor Lora again. She treats us like we're her own children. I guess since hers are in Hong Kong and elsewhere, we can be stand-ins. :)

I spent my lunch today at Ranch 99 buying groceries. And half that time was spent trying to find parking. I should've known better. So I decided to skip the Chinese bakery to get back in time. *sniff*

I'm not sure what I ate at the New Year lunch yesterday, and I didn't eat very much, but I ended up curled up in a fetal position last night on our bathroom floor reeling from the sharp stomach pain. It pretty much felt like severe heartburn, and I had to resort to Tums. The only relief I had before that was when the baby kicked around. It actually helped. And labor is worse than this, huh? I feel like such a wuss now. My high threshold of pain was once a source of pride for me. I used to be like, "Bring it on!" or "To the pain!" (Princess Bride reference) But no more! I'm so fragile now... :)

birthday (pan)cake / new year lunch

I didn't really want to mention my birthday this year, but I got so many nice surprises (like on Rommel's site). One of my friends I haven't seen in 12 years sent me birthday wishes (for the first time in those 12 years). Maybe it's the age of technology - you can enter birthdays online or in your PDA or be notified through sites like Friendster. But it doesn't matter how it's done -- it's very thoughtful, thanks!

One of the reasons I forget my birthday sometimes is that we didn't celebrate them in my family. And since we moved around a lot, I wasn't one to be invited to other children's parties either. Except one year, my mom made an attempt to have a couple children (neighbors and children she babysat) over for my birthday. She didn't know about cake and ice cream, I guess, because the kids were ready for the treat and...voila! Spring onion pancakes! (aka scallion pancakes) I thought everyone was going to cry. I was going to cry. I was so embarrassed. These pancakes are hard to make correctly from scratch and my mom's are superb. But no one ate them, and my mom looked hurt as she collected the uneaten pancakes from kids making disgusted faces. The truth is, I really wanted one, but you know the pressures of trying to fit in with another culture... So we never had another party again.

In my family, I started the tradition of sending birthday cards. Then my mom started calling me on my birthday (the day before, actually, since I was born in Taiwan). I really appreciate it. [I erased the stuff about my dad]

On the flip side of culture differences, I'm going to a Lunar New Year lunch for work again this year. It's like the outcasts getting together and suddenly becoming the exclusive "in-crowd." People speaking Mandarin and Cantonese. And the organizers don't invite people who aren't Asian. Half of me wants to boycott, but half of me wants to be there. So the latter half wins.

How cute is that - our friends' kids (one just born) are half Chinese and half Mexican. It'll be interesting to see how our kids turn out. 

Pregnancy, Week 30:

I forgot to take a photo of myself to commemorate the big 3-0. Maybe tomorrow. Manny's been working hard on the nursery, removing the popcorn from the ceiling, texturing it. He'll be painting the ceiling and putting up the moulding soon. Since I'm barred from helping, I read a lot. I also went and bought a video game (Pac-Man World 2). When I tell women that I have 4 weeks off prior to my due date, they sound relieved for me. When I tell men, the common reaction is, "Wow, you'll be so bored!"

I had quite a scare on Saturday - the baby didn't seem to move at all. My ob/gyn was concerned as well, but it looks like things are back to normal right now. And I had another scare on Monday because I ate roast beef that seemed a little bloody. That supposedly could cause listeriosis, but the doctor said it's very rare in this country to contract it from deli meats.

The other thing she said was that I'm gaining a *little* too much weight. This, I relayed to Manny as I ate some ginger cookies. Anyway, she said to lay off the sweets. :( I don't remember having such a strong sweet tooth before the pregnancy.

Less than 10 weeks to go. Woo-hoo!

Happy Lunar New Year! 

about manny and my favorite month:

This seemed like the longest January ever, like 50 days instead of 31. But I'm really looking forward to February. Well, if you don't want to read a lot of mushy stuff, go ahead and skip down to paragraph four.

Because of the two leap years, our 5-year anniversary will fall on a Saturday, just like the year we were married. 5 years! I can't get over just how much better our marriage has been than I'd ever expected or even imagined. Not that I thought it was going to be a road of despair, but I just thought it would be more of a roller coaster. Instead, it's like a staircase, one step at a time, but once you look back, you can't believe how high up you've climbed. And really, I have to give all the glory to God and a lot of credit to Manny. Not that it's always been rosey or peachy, especially the first couple months we were married, but God's paved the road and Manny's at the steering wheel. Couldn't ask for better.

I went to lunch with one of Manny's coworkers the other day. She said Manny was sort of a fixture in the group, the one who trains everyone because people just trust him to know his stuff, and that he is so patient about everything. In the past, his coworkers have told me he's the glue that holds them together, he's wise, he's funny... I don't think he knows what they think of him, especially when he's come home confessing that he should've treated a coworker better. Don't ask me how I got a guy like him, I have no idea, just a blessing to humble me for life, I guess. Especially when I kept telling him to go away in the beginning. But I didn't really want him to. I was just coming out of a really bad relationship. Note to the fellas: Persistence pays off (just don't be a stalker).

I love February. It's unique (shorter, and changes with leap years) and chock-full of special occasions. In addition to our anniversary, this month includes Chinese New Year, Presidents' Day, Valentine's Day, and Groundhog Day (which I remember being a very big deal when I lived in the east, but it doesn't seem to mean much out here). Also my birthday, my mom's birthday, a number of friends' birthdays.

Happy Birthday, James P.!  Happy Belated Birthday, Ivan! Sorry so late, I didn't know!

super wknd:

Friday night, I talked to my mother in-law and she said that I needed to add more big items to our registry. And I explained why I didn't want to, but she said that some people in the familiy wanted to be the ones to bring the "big gifts." Ok... But I really need those diapers - haha. I like talking to Manny's mom.

On Saturday, we ran a bunch of errands, as usual. We went to Baby Super to purchase a crib. We decided on one, but it would take 60-90 days to order. Well, there are only 70 days left till my due date, so that probably wouldn't work. So we went with a Munire Carla. It's a pretty crib - we call it the poopee crib since I keep stuttering and saying "Manure" crib.

Sunday we were back to teaching K-4. The older kids are easier to teach, even though the lessons have to be longer and more complex. But some of them are sort of too smart for their own good. And smart can mean impatience and anxiety and lack of consideration for the younger or less gifted students. This was a great segue to Rick's sermon on James 1:13-17 (Part 1). I do find myself blaming circumstances or those around me when I blow my temper over the littlest things. I may scoff at the phrase, "the devil made me do it," but I probably act in a similar way sometimes.

I was thinking of how my brother used to rough me up quite a bit, or about people that have hurt my family, and I would forgive them so easily. But when it comes to work, for example, I have so often said to myself, "Okay - Today I'm NOT going to get angry when someone forgets something," or "From now on, I'm NOT going to slam the phone down when someone is being unfair." But that's only dealing with it from the outside. I forget sometimes that Christianity is not about do's and don'ts, because it's just easier for me to think that way than to deal with the heart and nip it in the bud. And dealing with the heart is the true essence of this faith.

It's like that when it comes to parenting. I can mold the external behavior, but it's a lot more effort to sit down with a child and discover what is motivating him or her to that type of behavior, positive or negative. But maybe for me, it's easier to point the finger at a child than to look at the log in my own eye. On Good Morning America today, an actress said that if she takes her kids to Washington D.C., they don't know or think about the sacrifices you made to take them or make it fun. They'll only remember how you reacted when you lost your wallet.

Quick note on the Superbowl - the ads were so-so, the Eagles' loss was disappointing, and Paul McCartney sings so well live, but it would've been nice to have seen some guest appearances.

Happy Birthday, Andrea! 

proper credit and paranoia:

I got my free credit reports and it's both good and bad news. The good news is that my previous disputes were all resolved (an alleged bankruptcy, Home Depot card, a bunch of other errors). The bad news is that there is now another wrong credit card and several wrong previous addresses. I never lived anywhere near those locations, and yet the addresses were somewhat familiar. Then it dawned on me. Those are/were my ex-bf's addresses! How in the world did that happen? We never signed up for anything together. We hardly saw each other as it was (long distance).

I kept racking my brain trying to remember back 7-10 years ago (wow, 10 years?). But then I saw that one of the reports shows joint ownership, and there was nothing with his name on it. So I have to write them with proof that I never lived at those addresses. Not sure how I'll do it, but I hope they take my word for it.

Speaking of fraud, I hope I'm not going nuts, but this whole week, it seems as though someone's been rummaging through my things at work. I've been coming in and noticing items rearranged or scattered (and someone like me does notice this type of thing). I tried something - there's a plaque that fell flat yesterday. I left it there, and this morning it was upright again. Things were pushed around, almost as if someone was trying to clean up after themselves. I'm hoping the janitor just thought he/she knocked it over, but I'm becoming more suspicious. I'm making a pile for the confidential bin right now.

Especially after a coworker came by yesterday and helped himself to something from a plastic box of mine that is definitely out of plain sight, in the corner. I'm afraid of that coworker - I think I mentioned him before, but I don't want to write about him here. We can email if you'd like to know the latest - it hasn't necessarily gotten better. I just watch my back and pray.

Pregnancy Week 29:

I keep forgetting what week I'm in, maybe because of my pregnancy-onset absent-mindedness (which may be a myth or an excuse, but it seems pretty real to me). I get a weekly email from Baby Center that reminds me.

The baby is moving around quite a bit now, after seeming to go on strike for a couple days. Manny hasn't had a chance to feel her kick yet. Everytime I say, "Oh, it's kicking now," she stops moving right when Manny puts his hand on my stomach. That's the way ball bounces, I guess. Manny set a beanie on my stomach this morning to "keep the baby warm." I might very well be the only person that finds his antics so funny, but it's never a dull moment with him.

I take back what I said about not wanting other women to be due at the same time. A few friends are due two weeks before or after me and it's turning out to be pretty fun going through it together. I'm only recently learning that I'm not as independent or introverted as I once thought I was.

I'm going to be a mom. Crazy.

how to fold a shirt:

This is cool. I have the original in mpeg (showing the woman's face), but Flash is probably easier.