update, kids palm sunday, grand prix:

I've had painful contractions every 5-15 minutes since 1 a.m.  They're more intense than the ones I had during the weekend, but there is still no pain in my back and they're not getting closer together.  So now I'm just waiting for a pattern or for it to get down to 2-5 minutes like I did with the previous two.  I'd rather not go and get sent home, and I really want my doctor to be the one who does the surgery.  I also don't want to disrupt Manny's workday, although of course he told me that's not a valid reason.  We'll see how it goes.

I might have just overdone it yesterday--we all had some urgent phone calls and a lot to do--so I'm going to try to lie down as much as possible today and keep counting those contractions on a phone app while trying to sleep.  So far this morning, they're about 10-20 minutes apart.

I did make it to Naomi's performance and the Grand Prix, so I'm very thankful for that!   Naomi was a little disappointed to come in last in her heat, but her overall time wasn't too bad.  We didn't interfere with her design this year, but she said next time she'd like some help with designing for speed.  It's a good lesson in physics, and she'll still be able to do the final painting herself.

Naomi waiting to go to church.

Lucas and Grandpa.

The kids giving praise.

Naomi's is the pink Hello Kitty car.

Lucas getting a closer look.  Naomi's on the other side playing with her friends.

Let's roll!

Kids' performance starts about two minutes in:

march madness:

Friday night and almost all of Saturday night, I had nonstop contractions every five to ten minutes.  It was tiring and painful, but they weren't increasing in intensity or regular enough to be true contractions.  Finally on Sunday night, they subsided.  Perhaps I was dehydrated and overdid it cleaning or stressing.  

Manny took Naomi to a Palm Sunday music rehearsal on Saturday, and then his parents arrived for lunch at Five Guys.  Everything I eat tastes really good right now.  I eat all day and sometimes in the middle of the night.  Manny's parents will stay here to watch the kids and then a little while after we return from the hospital.  I wasn't in a great mood that day--weepy, hormonal, self-focused, but Manny and I reconciled and had a good talk.

Naomi did a great job, even though she hadn't gone to rehearsal because I wasn't sure we were going to make it to Palm Sunday.  Glad Manny decided to take her.  She was really concentrating.  Like our pastor said, it was wonderful to see all the different ways they were worshiping in music.  Some people at our church sort of bounce to the music, some do hand signs, some raise their arms, some raise their hands only slightly, some clap, some don't, and we don't really move much at all.  Whatever others are led to do is fine by me.  The sermon was centered on 1 Peter 4.  It was kind of impressive how much our pastor covered while still maintaining a clear direction and focus.  I've really been encouraged and convicted by this series about the intersection of life and faith.

My friend came to visit, and she joined us for a Mediterranean lunch and ome frozen yogurt afterward.  Manny's parents treated her; they are super nice like that and take care of so many people.  After we came home, Grandma watched the kids outside.  She actually kicked a ball around with Lucas, which can be quite tiring.  Naomi and her neighbor friend swept and piled leaves outside before coming in to spend the afternoon.  

I'm still getting painful contractions throughout the day, but no labor.  I really would like to go into labor at the same time as my scheduled c-section, like I did with Lucas, but I know the odds are small.  It would help with the surgery if I haven't eaten eight hours before (and I am eating often and a lot).  I'm at 39 weeks now, so I'm okay whenever it happens, but it would be great to make it to Naomi's car race at Awana after all the work she and Manny put into it.  I've been advised that getting to 39 weeks is important for the baby's development, and going into true labor (vs. induced or scheduled) is supposed to help with the recovery.  Because of my hip/uterus alignment problems, I have been told by doctors that I cannot give birth naturally without a lot of risk to myself and the baby.  I have a lot of risks with my medicinal allergies, but those are less of a risk to the baby.  Three c-sections is it for my health, though, so I'm getting a tubal ligation.  All that matters is a healthy baby, but if you can help it, I think it's better to go the natural route.

I had my FB open last night, and Manny decided to have some fun with it.  He cracks me up, but I was a little embarrassed!  

Basketball:  Manny and I are currently 1st and 2nd in our NCAA tournament group, which Manny does every year with his Stanford friends.  I picked UCLA to lose in the first round (and was right), while Manny had them winning more.  So much for my school spirit.  :/  I'm rooting for the underdogs regardless of the bracket.  I like the story of how Florida GC was just a swamp and some trailers and a dream, and the players are older than the school itself.    

More misc photos:

Having some corned beef and cabbage soup with Irish soda bread at Sweet T.omatoes for St. Patrick's Day.  The kids and I wore green, and Manny doesn't usually do that.

Here I am at 38 weeks.  My belly looks small, especially for a third kid, but I'm measuring normal.  I'm not a belly photo person, but I have to take one at least for the memories/scrapbook.  I actually notice more how much I look like my mom.  I always looked more like my dad as a kid.

Easter baskets from Grandma and Grandpa!

Having kabobs, wraps, pizza, and falafels at T.averna.

Lucas got a cone, and was very happy.  He said that when he gets a bowl and it melts, then he can't get to it.

Neighborhood kids having outdoor playtime.  Grandma kicked the ball around with Lucas.  I don't know how she did it for so long.  He didn't want to come back in, of course, and decided to get on his little scooter and take off (and got in trouble).

home stretch:

My last and final prenatal appointment went well.  Both the kids came with me.  The baby is moving more, my fundal height is still measuring okay, and I'm gaining almost a pound a week (though the way I'm eating, I feel like I should be gaining five).  So glad to be done with carrying around urine samples.  I'm having contractions off and on, but nothing regular.  My in-laws are arriving shortly.  I had contractions last night till 2:30 a.m., but so glad they stopped before I'd have to wake friends up in an emergency to take the kids.  The overnight bag is mostly packed.  I'm feeling pretty good this last trimester, especially compared to the other two.  It feels like a grace period before the surgery and round-the-clock newborn care.

The last couple of weeks have been sort of a last hurrah for us before the baby's arrival.  I might have overdone it with housework, and I had to stop when I felt pain.  I waited to wash, fold, open certain things just because I didn't know if this baby was okay, but the nesting instinct was in full force.  I vacuum upstairs sitting in a chair with wheels and roll around, I do the dishes while turned to one side (no room for the belly), and the kids help me get clothes from the dryer so I don't have to repeatedly bend over.  Cooking is becoming more challenging, and a meal from a friend midweek came at just the right time.  The kids are also understanding that I'm not going to be as quick or mobile.  They are being fairly independent, or Naomi helps me a lot with Lucas, although Lucas still needs my help with the bathroom (and he goes often).  I tried to teach him how to wipe, but after years of taking little kids to the restroom, I know how poorly they wipe (often nothing gets on the toilet paper at all) and would rather be on the safe side.

I've kept to the same schedule of Lucas's speech classes twice a week, Lego Club, ISP, Awana, and of course, school each day.  I took the kids to the park one last time as well, and that was probably too hard for me.  It sounds busy, but it's nowhere as busy and stressful as it was the first months of the pregnancy.

So the thing with Lego Club is that I pulled Naomi out after she did not listen to my or the teacher's instructions to remain seated and listen.  She usually will listen, but her friend kept getting up, and Naomi decided to follow her, even looking at me knowing she was disobeying.  Naomi is generally not a follower, but this girl in particular has a strong influence on her.  The girl is a Christian, but that's not enough to say you should follow someone else over what is right.  On the other hand, I forget sometimes that she's older now, that just taking a privilege away just to teach her a lesson or show who's boss is not enough to reach her heart and help her make better choices in the future.  Manny reminded me about that, and he tried to see if we could work out a way for her to earn her way back back.  I can't take her anyway for a while, but it's something we'll still be working through.

My mother's lung growths appear to be calcified, so they are not cancerous, thankfully.  She also was able to switch doctors.  Her last one kept cancelling appointments on her, saying she (the doctor) was out sick when it was confirmed she wasn't.  The new doctor is young, but more pleasant and willing to listen to her.  Going through the county for her health care is a pain with delay after delay and not the best care, but at least she has options.  I'm sorry other people's tax dollars are paying for her health care, but she has worked herself to the bone all her life, so they're not paying for her to be lazy, though they could have made better decisions.

Some miscellaneous photos from a couple of weeks ago:

Naomi picked a birthday card with sweet sentiments for her aunt.  This is the first time she's signed a card in cursive, and the first time Lucas has signed any card at all.

The kids at the park.  Looks like there's room for one more!

Lucas impressed by the motorized water fountain on Naomi and T's creation.

Naomi's first Chinese writing ever--says "Ma Ma" (mother)

Naomi draws pretty well freehand, considering she's never had a drawing lesson.  These are dragons for her Chinese lanterns.  We are studying Asian countries in school at the moment.

today is another day:

Well, just as I was saying I could use some more affirmation--Manny came home and surprised me with flowers and a cinnamon cake, just because.  They don't look too purple in the photo, but there's a violet tinge on them.  Tulips are my favorite flowers, and purple is my favorite color.  Even in the evening, it brightened my rather long day.  It made me feel special because it was something specifically for me.  Thank you, Manny.

more girl time / pregnancy update and sleep worries:

After church last week, Naomi and I had some girl time again with my friend and her daughter.  Her daughter likes Asian food, so sometimes they go out to have some, and end up being the only blondes there.  :)  We had lunch together and then they came over to visit.  I'm very thankful to have her in my life.  Our girls are great friends, too.  She coordinated an extremely generous group gift for us from various ladies in the church, and she's coordinating meals for us after my in-laws return home.  I have received an abundance of hand-me-downs as well.  I can't even express my gratitude.

The girls with their beef ball and rice stick soup.

I'm still feeling overwhelmed by all the love.  I really needed it this time around.  It's been a tough pregnancy, with all that's been going on in our lives, our family, Manny's group at work.  I don't even know if I'm raising my two children well (but I sure try and pray a lot).  I don't always get a lot of affirmation from Manny, although he gives me a lot of wisdom and love, and helps me stay grounded.  Maybe he's not the type to flatter, or has really high expectations of me, or maybe he does it in a way I don't always see clearly.

Sometimes I want to tell him how hard things are because I think it will garner understanding, but the way I talk, I guess it sounds more like I'm complaining or making excuses (maybe it sounds like I'm doing that  now, but I sense that women will understand what I'm saying).  I'm learning to give it to God and not download on my husband when he's home.  I don't want to care what people say, and am not one to fish for compliments, but I need encouragement sometimes.  I know Manny needs more from me as well.  With kids I feel like you can't always be there for each other the way you want or need.

If it weren't for the fact that I see this child as a gift to my husband and children, as God's special blessing, I'd be really uneasy about having a third.  I love the baby already, but I'm concerned about loving him right and juggling love between the four (my husband and the three kids).  I will definitely accept or request more help this time around from friends.  I know people want to help, and I've helped others, but when it comes to asking for help ourselves, Manny and I have not been so great about it.  It's not that I'm not humble enough to ask, but more that I really don't want to trouble or put people on the spot or be disappointed when they don't show up (has happened a few times).  I've been so independent all my life, unsure about whom I could trust or depend on.  Four families from church volunteered themselves to be "on call" if I go into labor before my in-laws arrive.  God knows our needs, and I was reminded it is okay and even good to let people love you and help you.

I'm also thankful the kids have often been willing helpers.  I don't know if I've said this already, but even with Naomi just making the beds and Lucas taking clothes in and out of the dryer, it's felt like a huge help because it hurts for me to push or pull too much weight.  There's so much, too much, to do before the baby arrives, and I waited till the end (something I never like to do) because I really wasn't sure the baby was okay.  The baby has moved so little this pregnancy, but finally started moving at 33 weeks, only to stop again.

The latest update is that last Tuesday I noticed decreased movement.  It's not unusual for the last few weeks of pregnancy when there's less room to move around, but the change seemed abrupt.  I stayed up almost all of Tuesday night waiting for movement after drinking juice and lying down, but I didn't get much movement, at least nowhere near what it was the day and night before.  Wednesday morning around 7 a.m., I did finally get some weak movements and figured that was fine.  We were out until the afternoon, and then I came home and lied on my side and tried to do a kick count again during the kids' quiet time.  Pretty much nothing but a couple flutters in an hour.  I went to the doctor the next day, and he decided to do a non-stress test to make sure things were normal.  Lucas went with me.  I had drunk juice and soda earlier, and the doctor shook and prodded my belly to get the baby to "wake up," but we only had one kick in 30 minutes, which is not enough.  There were none of the normal random heart accelerations, but there was also no deceleration to indicate distress.  At 45 minutes, Lucas (who had been incredibly good and just sitting in the corner with nothing to do for over an hour) came over and beat my belly like a drum and screamed into it.  The doctor had stepped out for a minute.  When he returned, there they were--accelerations.  Lucas had woken the baby up just in the nick of time.  Had there been no movement, I'd be sent in for an ultrasound.  If signs of distress appeared, I'd have to be prepped for an emergency delivery.  So it was a scare, but turned out uneventful.  The hope is that this baby is just mellow and not deprived of oxygen (which is usually indicated by nonreactive results on a fetal non-stress test).  I've actually started looking up some diseases, just to be prepared.

Lucas and Naomi also were sick last week.  It was a short run, with just a sore throat for Naomi and some sniffles for Lucas.  I had to keep getting up and taking care of them on Friday, but I did feel more movement.  Then Saturday it died down yet again.  Lucas was really clingy, probably from being sick, so Manny and I were up a lot on Friday night/Saturday morning.  Manny hasn't really ever been up with the kids at night, but he's trying to help me so I can get more rest before the baby comes.  He has to work late hours and can't function with interrupted sleep, so I've done my best to take all the getting up on myself.  But then I run out of energy and get desperate and sleep with the child, which causes conflict.  There's so much for me to do, though, for my family and for others, and I need sleep.  But then I have to start all over.  Our kids don't sleep well when it rains, either (likely due to the large windows of our townhouse and all the tapping).  I have to say I'm not a fan of Daylight Savings Time in the spring!  It's not to make excuses, just to understand the reasons.  Naomi did start sleeping well and being able to get herself to bed when she was four.  Lucas bugs her a lot at night, though, when we've tried to have them sleep in the same room.  She's so patient with him, but it's not acceptable when he's jumping on her and making her get him things.  This can go on past midnight if we let it.

It's hard, and doing it all over again is really not something I'm looking forward to.  Lucas was trained from the start, too.  He slept through the night at 5 weeks till he was 11 months, and then it was downhill once he became more aware (remember he beat his face bloody in the crib).  Naomi had her health issues, frequent night terrors, etc. but God knows how hard I tried to train her anyway.  And then she just did it on her own.  It's hard when you do all you can, get up night after night, and it's often one step forward and two steps back.  The worst part for me was those who kept telling me I needed to work harder at it.  I slept less than my kids at their age, so maybe they get it from me.  I think for me, I have a hard time dealing with being judged when I haven't slept much and worked so hard in the eight years we've had children.  I don't watch TV, I don't have time to get haircuts, and I am on my feet or out all the time, even when I'm really sick.  I'm really an open book, but I know if you put anything out there about yourself, and you have to accept that people misjudge you regardless.  That is part of wanting to bottle feed the kids as well, but Manny and my friends have encouraged me to breastfeed again.  I will do my best not to be a human pacifier yet again.   Please, can we just get a heavy sleeper this time around?

family night out:

After the baby shower, we went to do the final weigh-in for Naomi's car at the church, and bumped into our friend Bernie and his kids there.  We were planning on being in and out, so Lucas and I just waited in the car at first, but the kids really like the playground there so we stayed for a little while.  Bernie and his younger son came over to say hello (they're so great about that) before we went out for what might be our last night out before the baby arrives.  Sometimes I look at the tables and booths made to fit four and think about how odd it'll be having a family of five.  Then again, I doubt we'll be able to eat out for a while.  We enjoyed some wood-fired pizza and pasta at Willow Street.  Lucas loves fresh bread with balsamic vinegar and olive oil.  He ate lots of that and still wolfed down his spaghetti and meatballs.  Naomi's butter and cheese pasta was not cheesy enough (and I agree it wasn't), but she's matured into doing her best to eat the food even if she doesn't like it.  I'm proud of her.  I got exactly what I was craving--creamy pasta with bits of salmon and capers.  I only ordered a medium instead of the full size thinking it would be enough, even though Manny told me it wouldn't be.  Manny and Naomi commented on how I spent the rest of dinner staring at their food like a vulture hoping they wouldn't finish and that I could swoop in somehow.  No lies detected there.  I'm constantly hungry, even more than usual.  I've gained a little less than 30 lbs so far, most of it when I started craving chocolate instead of spicy foods at around 7 months.

The restaurant itself is a good family option in an otherwise upscale area--we can always count on Manny to do his research.  Manny and I used to go to this area sometimes when I was a mystery shopper (paid to go somewhere and critique it undercover).  Our kids love to walk around at night, and Manny asked if I was up for it.  It hurts to walk, but I do it all the time anyway, so why not?  To sweeten the deal, I told Manny it would be nice if we could get ice cream for everyone.  He said, "So...what you're saying is that you'll only go if you can get dessert out of it?"  Um, yeah, I guess.  :)

We ended up at the Powell's Sweet Shoppe, and I probably should have had the chocolate ice cream I had in mind, but instead I picked up a couple candies I hadn't had in years.  I am really craving chocolate these days.  I wanted chocolate macarons, but didn't know where they would have them (but passed a place on the way back; too bad).  I don't really care for candy, but peach rings strike up a fond memory of UCLA, where I first had them.  Manny didn't get anything, and he has a real sweet tooth.  He often just goes somewhere for us and gets nothing for himself.  He means well, but it just makes me feel bad.  I often do that with the kids myself, but at least with me they'll usually offer me some of theirs.  They didn't really offer their offer any candy.

All done the car she designed!

The kids love spinning on this spinning thing.

Yeah, real nice, Naomi (pretending to pump gumballs in her mouth). 

The kids admiring the Chinese model toys.  They had a lot of fun being on the street at night.  Too bad Daylight Savings Time was upon us!

dual baby shower:

A couple friends, A & M, threw a dual baby shower brunch for J and me last Saturday.  It was a lovely, intimate shower with mutual old church friends and the family of the other mom-to-be.  I declined the shower several times for many reasons, but A would not take no for an answer.  However, I'm glad she did it in the end--the time we had together in prayer and encouragement was invaluable to me.  She has four kids who are eight and under, had her four-month-old with her, and still ran the shower seamlessly!  The other hostess who opened her home to us for the shower also has four kids.  It takes a special woman!

I'm also completely stocked in newborn-sized clothes now, inheriting many from J, whose babies are generally not as much on the small side as ours.  :)  Everyone who came lent a helping hand, and there were a lot of laughs and hugs.  Naomi came with me.  I love mother-daughter time with her.  Like most of the kids, she spent the majority of time playing in the backyard.  The hostess' backyard has no shortage of fun things for kids, including a swing set, a playhouse with a TV, and a bird coop.  Naomi was just there to play with other kids, and she had a great time and enjoyed the food.  All the food was good, and we had a perfect variety prepared by the guests.  One of the ladies brought homemade pumpkin scones (Naomi's favorite) and a bundt cake filled with homemade apricot jam.  A few friends could not make it, but we'd hung out recently apart from the shower and had a sweet time together.  I'm more comfortable with one-on-one time, but to be showered with love with a group of loved ones all in one place is a tremendous feeling as well.

The hostess read some hilarious parenting jokes, timely Scriptures, and we played a game naming baby animals.  We received a lot of clothing and generous group gifts.  J received a stroller and I received a backpack frame carrier.  It'll be handy for me, and I like the backpacks more than the front carriers for when they're a little bigger.  I'd already gotten so much from the shower Manny's mom threw for us.  I'd of course regretted giving almost everything away (the last bit going when I was pregnant and didn't know it!), but we received it back and then some.  Naomi keeps telling me not to make the same mistake and hold on to the baby items this time, but I think we're really done after three.    

I asked the ladies at our church not to throw anything for me, but they still got together to give us a gift card and will be setting up post-baby meals for us.  I feel really blessed.  It is a little harder not having family nearby, although I'd be hesitant to burden them anyway, but our church and friends have been like family to us.  What is it like to go from not having friends most of my childhood and not knowing my extended family to having friends and family like this?  Pretty darn amazing. 

Photos with the attendees.

Naomi and C.

Us with the hostesses.

Quiche--one of my favorite foods.

Homemade bundt with homemade apricot jam.  Yum!

baby shower / pinewood derby / lucas school:

After a (normal) week of homeschooling, enrichment classes, Awana, speech therapy sessions, catching up with a friend, doctor's and dentist appointments, and trying to figure out what to do about my brother, it was a sweet blessing to be able to celebrate at a friend's baby shower.  I took/stole her group photos and posted them here since they turned out nicely (even though I blurred them).

While I was out, Manny took the kids to Awana to start making Naomi's Hello Kitty pinewood derby racer for the Awana Grand Prix.  It's quite an involved process, and we have so much going on right now, but Manny worked very hard to put a smile on that little girl's face.  We went to have Taiwanese food afterward at an inexpensive place we like, and for whatever reason, the dinnertime food wasn't as good as lunchtime.  I actually had to spit something out, which I've never had to.  But the Chinese bakery stop more than made up for it.

There are two more car-making days, and I should be able to join those.  The actual date of the Grand Prix is two days before my scheduled cesarean. I hope I'll make it, but if not, my in-laws should be here by then to cheer Naomi on.  Lucas looked a little down when he saw Naomi's neon pink car and realized it wasn't his, but he smiled when I told him he'd be able to design his own when he's old enough.  I've been extra emotional about him lately.  At Awana, he was picked last for duck-duck-goose.  When the leaders first asked who hadn't been picked yet, Lucas raised his hand high and said, "Pick me!"  But by the end, he only held his hand slightly off the ground and said nothing and waited patiently.  None of the other kids sat near him either.  Thankfully one of the leaders realized he hadn't been "goose" yet.  I was usually picked last in P.E., so it made me more sympathetic toward him.  But I didn't intervene--I know these are things kids have to deal with and learn from, and I don't want to baby him.

Lucas most likely won't be moving up to Sparks (Awana K-2) this fall even though he'll be of kindergarten age.  I have officially enrolled him in kindergarten (we do a public school independent study program), but I think he'll be doing more pre-K or transitional K work.  The school psychologist at the public elementary school here suggested he be held back one year, and I've already discussed the possibility of his repeating kindergarten with the ISP instructors.  I initiated those conversations.  I think Lucas is intelligent, but we just have to get past any learning glitches.  I'll be focusing on his education more, and it might all change.  Naomi's doing pretty well with school.  She has the state standardized exam coming up at the end of April.  She is getting everything right on the practices so far (except one math problem), but it's certainly different once you're in the exam room.  It's hard to believe our kids are so far apart they won't be in middle or high school together.  

Great group photo, although we're missing a couple ladies.  

The food was so good--Russian, Lebanese, Italian, and Spanish.  We were a good mix of different nationalities as well!

The favors were homemade by the mom-to-be herself!  She is an awesome cook, and apparently can cook up a good salve as well!

Good to see my family again.  Here we are after a visit to the Chinese bakery.

The body of Naomi's car, which she designed herself.  Wheels to be attached shortly.