nami charity walk:

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to join my friend in a fundraiser walk for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which provides services and support for those affected by mental illness.  Her brother took his own life after a long batter with mental illness, so we walked in memory of him.  Some of you know whom I would be walking in honor of, although that person has asked that I longer mention it online due to how it creates a poor reputation.  That's exactly the stigma we are trying to eliminate.  Many people don't get treatment because of the stigma, or they don't tell anyone because of the stigma.  The speaker, an author and a professor of psychology from Berkeley, talked about his father's battle with mental illness, how he felt he couldn't discuss that with anyone or would be unable to go forward in his career, and how when it comes to funding, support, and research for diseases, we fall short when it comes to mental illnesses and disorders.  It's true, though--for example, if someone has cancer, there is more understanding, sympathy, and grace, but if someone is revealed as having a mental illness, he could lose a job opportunity, be shunned, or even targeted.  So, we are trying to change that with events like these.  

It was also encouraging to see the different Asian groups that walked or were represented.  In the Asian community, the stigma or denial can be even stronger, or at least that's what I've seen with my culture.  We heard of so many tragedies that morning, we've heard in the news what happens when people feel hopeless.  They may not know what help is available for them, and may believe a person with such an illness will never have a life worth living, especially in a culture where so much identity is put into one's mental capacities and career.  

So after the introductions, speech, parade of team captains, and warm-up, we finally began the walk, two hours after I'd arrived!  My friend's father is older and disabled, so we cut through a steeper and windier part of the walk.  Her cousin brought her beautiful husky-golden retriever mix.  I enjoyed the walk, and every now and then got to pet the dog.  Dogs do wonders for mental health as well, at least in my experience.  Speaking of which, I went to my friend's parents' house afterward and got to meet their dog as well.  Most dogs seem to take to me.  I hope that will be the case with our dog (yes, we have a new dog!  More on our new puppy later).  It was a good day, and it was encouraging talking to people who have been through similar experiences with family members or in their own journeys.  I hope that we can continue to stamp out stigma.

  

Special appearances from Miss Silicon Valley and Sourdough Sam.

The speaker, Dr. Hinshaw, gave a powerful speech.

My friend hugging the emcee and about to introduce our team.

The Aztec dancers walked with us.

We stopped at a water fountain for the kids.  Olaf was excited and ready to go in, but we were told by the police he couldn't.

He was a good boy and just stood watching.

The kids enjoying themselves.

My friend and me.  We dressed in Hawaiian gear for the event.  I'm also wearing a water bottle holder that my friend got me.  It was handmade by a Hmong person and part of an effort to create jobs to stop human trafficking.

Enjoying my company at the after party.

disney vacation, day 1 to 1.5: traveling

I never thought we'd take a major vacation while Isaac was still a baby.  He is one already, but he isn't really walking or talking yet and isn't fully weaned, so he's more a baby than a toddler.  His diapers, meds, clothing, etc. also add extra costs and luggage, but at least his plane ticket is free!  I was glad I had him in a baby carrier at the airport, because I needed my hands free for the luggage and security.  But for most of the vacation, he wasn't too happy about being confined.  He fussed a lot on the shuttle to and from the airport and periodically on the plane as well.

We would have gotten through security pretty quickly with the separate, faster line for families, but I mistakenly packed our baby powder in the carry-on, so we had to wait while they did a chemical test on it.  I was so glad a friend got us this expandable diaper bag--they don't count it as a carry-on, and I could fit two weeks' worth of diapers and wipes in it.  I was surprised to find TSA had a machine to scan sippy cups with liquid in it.  There was a small playground in our waiting area, which was really helpful.  Manny got pizzas to take on the flight since it's cheaper than eating on board.  

It's true what some say about traveling with small children:  forget everything else you might want to do on a flight, because for the next several hours, your sole job is to tend to your infant or toddler.  One becomes creative and resourceful like MacGyver with the 1- to 2-year-olds.  Even if people are understanding, no one wants to hear a baby cry on a plane.

We booked our flight for the afternoon (it was the only nonstop flight available for the price anyway), but Isaac catnapped right before we boarded, so he didn't sleep on the flight as I'd hoped.  In addition to some physical issues I had, Isaac was bored, and Lucas pestered his siblings at times, which made for a long flight.  But it was still better than expected and manageable.  The airline was able to get Manny a seat across the aisle from us (his original placement was lost, they said, because the plane had been switched).  That's the best we could do with most planes having just the usual three seats together.  That meant I had the three kids on my own for most of the flight.  I was so thankful for this nice man behind us who humored Isaac's frequent smiles and games of peekaboo.  If he can't be mobile, then he wants to be social.  I also ended up moving to the middle seat to keep Lucas from bothering Naomi.  And when I thought, "Lord, how am I going to handle three kids on this plane," I received a fourth.  Nearby, a couple was struggling a little with their infant and toddler, so I took their toddler for an hour or so.  Lucas was kind to her and showed her children's games on the Kindle.  It was a tight squeeze, though, and she was too young to really get more than the piano game, so he was a little relieved when she had to return to her seat for the descent.

We arrived in Orlando at almost midnight east coast time, a bit weak and weary.  But better than it would have been the day before, when flights were cancelled due to thunderstorms.  I can't tell you how good it felt to hear our friend call out to us from the Disney Magical Express shuttle.  They'd even saved us seats.  Just to have a familiar and caring friend who knew what they were doing relieved our stress.  Off we went to our hotel, the Disney All-Stars Movie Resort.  My friend said that it wasn't a great value, but since we got half-off through their discount and were allowed five in our room, it was cheaper than the run-down motel near our home, so it was perfectly fine with me.  Plus, those huge Disney statues were a bonus.  We arrived in our room about 1 a.m. or so, so it was too late to eat.  We had some granola bars I'd packed and bathed the kids.  I think it was 3 a.m. (midnight our time) before they were settled in bed.  We tried to sleep.  It wasn't easy for a number of reasons, and I ended up getting only a couple of hours before they called in the morning about collecting our luggage for the cruise.  We had a quick breakfast at the hotel and then headed out to Port Canaveral on the shuttle with our friends.

Backtracking a little, we had only found out there was availability on the cruise less than three weeks before the trip!  We had to book the plane tickets a couple of weeks before that without a guarantee we were going (the tickets were non-refundable, but supposedly creditable for up to a year).  Thankfully, my friend T. helped us with a lot of things we needed to know and do beforehand.  He helped me with reservations, understanding the new technologies and apps, and many of the details.  It was a scramble to get our passports renewed in time and prepare for the trip.  Thank God it all worked out.  I didn't bother buying new clothes.  Actually the cruise turned out to be a great opportunity to wear some old dresses, including this tropical print Mickey dress I bought on clearance ten years ago and have seldom worn.  We did have to buy some luggage from Target.  Since we got married, we've only had one cheap-ish, large-ish suitcase to our name.  That wouldn't fly (no pun intended) for a 10-day trip with three kids including three dress-up nights.  The two new suitcases will help with travel in general, since we usually stuff everything into duffle bags.  I also heeded a friend's advice and used packing cubes.  They are perfect for a trip like this where we have to pack and repack quickly.  Great for organization.  I almost wished we had another set!

Manny and I are Disney fans, having grown up going to Disneyland.  I've seen almost all the major Disney films.  We got engaged and had our wedding reception there.  We celebrated our first anniversary at Disney World.  We've been to Disneyland four times with Naomi, two of those times with Lucas, and not since Isaac was born.  My family actually went to Walt Disney World when I lived in the east coast, but that was mostly a disaster of a trip.  I think that was in 1983.  So 2001 was the next time, and here I was back again in 2014.  We never imagined we'd be back again, especially with three kids, especially going on the cruise as well.  All these years, we'd never wanted to use our friend's cast member discount, but a fateful inquiry and exchange led to us being able to take this once-in-a-lifetime vacation (thank you, T and M!).  

Online suggestions for things to pack for our cruise that were helpful:  clothespins, a hanging organizer, lots of sunscreen, bottles for water, Ziploc bags, detergent (Purex sells detergent sheets; we used the little Oxy packs), sea bands for motion sickness, souvenir for characters to sign (turn it into Guest Services, and they'll send it to your room at the end of the trip), waterproof watch, Dry Pak, rain ponchos, sun hats or caps, light jacket.

Suggestions we packed that we did not use:  bug repellent, Dramamine for kids, baby powder (the sand trick doesn't work with the sand out there for some reason), insulated bag for port days (we weren't allowed to bring food off the ship).   

I forgot the camera charger.  Of all the things to forget!  Thankfully, T had the same brand camera with the same charger.  Otherwise it'd be all low-res and disposable photos after Day 3!  He also had left his camera behind at the port terminal, but was able to retrieve it after some pushback from port security (before Disney stepped in).  Actually, Manny almost left the camera behind at one point, and I went chasing after the bus with the baby in a sling and a bag in my hand.  Hilarious memory.  I myself almost forgot the camera on the plane.  Wouldn't have been able to chase after it then!

Waiting to board.

Isaac about to board his first flight!

First, a little playtime.

Little girl and Lucas taking turns playing Angry Birds on the plane.

Isaac looking out at the city lights of Orlando.

In our Toy Story room having a late-night snack.

Isaac playing peekaboo the next morning (or that morning, really).

Lucas couldn't wait.  He looked longingly out the window.

The luggage carts were giant suitcases.

Naomi leaping across the giant checker pieces.

Buzz!

Woody and Rex!  Hard to tell, but Woody is about three stories high.

Bo Peep!

Isaac did not want to get out of RC.  I had to wrestle him away crying.  The boys are wearing matching guayabera shirts, but I neglected to take a close-up.

When I was little, the Apprentice sequence from Fantasia was one of my favorites.

Mickey spouting out the water.

Mickeys on the highchairs.

Mickey shapes were everywhere.

safety tips for parents and kids:

When N was young, I remember telling her about "stranger danger," and it was necessary, because she was so social.  She went up to some random man at a park when she was about two and introduced herself.  Then it led up to the question I always had as a kid--what do you do when you are lost and need help?  They always said go to a policeman, but when's the last time I saw one?  A friend shared this post (link below) on Facebook, and I thought it offered good insights in light of recent news events and what we know statistically about those who exploit or abduct children (it's often someone they know and not a stranger).

And there's my story.  When I was about six or seven, a man working in our trailer park knocked on our door saying he needed to use the bathroom.  He wasn't a friend, but not exactly a stranger either.  I let him in (my parents were out, and I don't know where my brother was).  I guided him to the restroom where he proceeded to flash his you know what at me and ask me how to use the bathroom, as if I should show him.  I said I don't know and ran out of there.  I can't actually remember what happened afterward, and I never told my parents either.  I've been lost, picked up by strangers, my hand burned with a cigarette by a neighbor (these events happened mostly before I came to the U.S.).  I could be dead.  Parents and caretakers need to talk to children and keep an eye on them.  You don't have to helicopter parent, but you shouldn't take your eyes off your kids at the park or store, even for a minute.  I may not always interfere, but I watched mine like a hawk when they were young.

Tricky People Are the New Strangers

There was a recent special where kids were given talks and instructed about strangers right before going to the park, as an experiment, and 7 out of 20 failed the test, walking off with the man (an actor playing a pedophile/predator) right in front of their parents.  One even climbed into the dog cage in the back of his truck!  You don't have to live in fear, but try not to neglect kids for your own convenience!  I know some moms who have a different philosophy, and my conclusion is that I just have to distance myself sometimes so that we don't end up compromising our children's safety.

missing again:

We have not had any contact with my brother since August 21, when he was reportedly discharged from a medical center to an emergency shelter in Los Angeles.  My cousin Daniel went to the medical center and then the shelter, and they could not release info to him, except to say my brother was not in the shelter's database.  However, they do not always do a check-in, so it's possible he was there.  His most recent ATM statement shows that he had used up all $40 within the two days in the East L.A. area.  So we do not know of his activities since August 23.  Because it is his own bank account, we cannot help him out with any money.  Social Security also needs to find him in order to verify his current status, and that is the main reason we need to get a hold of him.  Unfortunately, he has not called, and we are not sure where we can find him.  He no longer has a conservator, as we had pushed to have him removed from his previous situation due to abuse and negligence.  Possibly because of that trauma, he will continue to flee the system.  Please pray for my brother's safety and get the word out for us if you know people in the area.  My cousin has set up a website at johnisloved.com with contact/tip information and photos.  My parents aren't well enough to drive out to file the missing persons report, which has to be done in person, but the LAPD has him in their database, so we're hoping it'll be an easy relaunch.

two long weeks:

When I found out that my brother had gone missing from a mental health facility, I spent three days making calls, researching, and contacting people for help.  One of my friends went out by the facility to pass out flyers, and someone said they'd seen him a few days before, wandering around on Whittier Blvd in L.A., but didn't know he was missing.  Of course, this made us feel worse, because we probably could have found him early on if we'd known he was missing.  My parents also told me he had reported being assaulted to them, and they didn't really believe him or do anything about it!  I wish they'd told me so that I could have looked into following up for him.  After that, he wasn't taking their calls, and I have a feeling that's why he ran away.

We canceled a barbecue we were going to host with friends, and the kids had to keep themselves occupied for long stretches.  It was hard to get everything I needed to get done, and Manny didn't seem to understand all that I was going through.  That Friday morning, I found out my father had gone to urgent care for passing a lot of blood, and they had discovered a tumor.   Manny encouraged me to go, and I booked a flight down to help search for my brother the next day.  My sister-in-law arrived to pick me up, and I'm so thankful to have a situation where my in-laws and parents live by each other.  I had to take the kids, but Grandma was able to watch them while I was out.  The day I arrived, my parents cried to my in-laws about their situation.  I know it felt hopeless for them, and between wondering if their son was alive and wondering if my dad would live, it was a lot to handle in one week.

After my in-laws left my parents' house, I got to work, looked things up online, contacted some friends and family, then we drove out about half hour to make copies of the flyers at the only place still open in the area.  Then I went back to get the kids to bed.  The next morning, a Sunday, we drove out about 2.5 hours to start searching for my brother.  It was a shot in the dark, going to a place we knew he liked to visit and looking for a needle in a haystack (but a big needle--there aren't that many large Asians wandering the streets alone).  We walked for eight hours in the heat with a few breaks, all over the city and back and forth, and I don't know how my parents did it.  My father was in great pain from his condition, and my mother had taken a nasty fall on the curb early on.  But they walked faster than me!  We stopped twice for a quick bite.  I was really tired and sore, and knew I was possibly pregnant, but I still plodded on and drank Coke against my better judgment.

Our route started at the beach where we parked.  We walked up to the police station to get some information.  It was apparent that my parents needed me there due to their limited English and my father's aversion to crowds.  It was just like when I was a little kid and had to always ask for info for them, except back then I could barely see over the counters.  We went to the high school and gave a flyer to security.  Then my father and I both thought we ought to speak to a few of the homeless people.  I gave a couple of them the last box of McNuggets we had. We were directed to various shelters and walked all over town.  One in particular was very hard to get to, but once we were there, a number of people recognized my brother and said they'd seen him.  One said he'd probably be back at the Pier, so back we went again.  It was a tremendous joy, even though they were saying he was just standing there or trying to hide by a building in the middle of the night.  We knew he was not well, and the shelter wasn't open during the weekend for food, nor were its beds open to the public.  But he was seen alive, and we felt we were close.  My parents kept thinking random people were him.  I know it was wishful thinking and felt bad for them.  It didn't help that I would say, "But that guy's blonde!"  "He's way too tall!"   "That's a woman!"  We went back to take some of the flyers down, concerned now that if he were found, the police would take him back to the facility from which he'd escaped.

At the end of the day, we sat down on a bench.  I thought of how beautiful it was, yet I couldn't enjoy it wondering where my brother was.  But I believed we'd find him.  My parents dropped me off at home, and a short time later, they called me to say that one of the shelter attendants had called saying they had my brother but couldn't keep him.  After this we had some back-and-forth interactions with a number of county lawyers, and after a hearing, the facility and public guardian no longer have conservatorship over him.

Knowing my brother was alive, even if not perfectly well, gave us comfort.  We then had to deal with my parents' health.  My parents needed me there to fill out paperwork and translate for the doctor.  After the first appointment, we learned it could either be renal (kidney) cancer or renal tuberculosis.  My father and I had a good talk and reached closure on some issues.  I think my parents go back and forth on the existence of God, needing Him in a desperate situation as many do, but they don't really think of Him as more than a cosmic force and don't believe the gospel of the Bible.

After several appointments and a second CT scan, we were told last Friday that it is most likely cancer.  The good news is that even with the removal of a kidney and possibly an adrenal gland, my dad can function with one kidney.  His surgery is set for the 23rd of this month, if those of you who pray could pray for him.  My in-laws were kind enough to offer to give him a ride to the hospital.  He has an excellent urologist, largely due to Medicare.  My mother, not yet 65, has to go to the county clinic, which is pretty horrendous.  I remember it being not entirely helpful when I went growing up, since we didn't have insurance.  It took six weeks before she got the result of her TB test, which was negative.  This week they should be able to determine the cause of her incessant cough.  I hadn't planned on telling them I was expecting until the end of the first trimester, but I couldn't enter the CT room due to radiation, so I had to tell them.

The kids had a pretty nice time for the most part.  They got to run in the sprinklers or play with the hose a few of the days.  A heatwave rolled in, and the car thermometers read about 110-120°F.  The second weekend we were there, my sister-in-law took us on a picnic at the park, and then we went to McDonald's.  Lucas likes the playplace, but he needs Naomi to help him up, and often when she makes new friends her age, he gets left behind.  I wish he knew how to make his own friends, but he just clings to Naomi.  I don't want him to be unsociable when he grows up, but often other kids find him a little odd or quiet, and he gets bossy with adults, which is also not acceptable.  Aside from that Saturday, I stayed in and watched the Olympics or hung out with Lucas the days I was home, except one day when M and her kids stopped by to visit.  Naomi went with the grandparents to the store or her aunt's house a couple times.  The kids ate well, played with the dogs (Lucas teased them), and spent time with their grandparents.  We went out to Old Spaghetti Factory the day before we left, and the kids really enjoyed it.  The kids meal is rather huge.  They probably could have split one between them.  Naomi picked the fried ravioli appetizer, pasta with meat sauce, minestrone, and spumoni for dessert.  Needless to say, it was a happy ending to our stay there.

more parks, more swimming:

Yep, it's still summer, and we're still out all the time, just like old times.  We had a park playdate yesterday and a swim day today at a friend's house.  School begins in three weeks, so I'm already giving Naomi the...er...three week warning.  Naomi's grown up a lot this summer.  She's asking me for an email now (well, she wanted to be able to text, but we don't have a text plan) so she can write Manny and me every now and then.  Yesterday she took my phone and called her grandma.  My mother-in-law is on my favorites list, so she didn't have her number memorized or anything, but it's interesting that she can call on her own now.  She went off to talk to Grandma in private for quite some time.  Being able to read and write has advantages--she's more independent and learning more, plus she writes me the cutest, most loving notes almost every day.  On the other hand, I also have to monitor her more.  She keeps wanting to chat and make friends online, so this is just the beginning.

Lucas has also progressed a lot.  He's loving the water, getting to know people around him, and he corrects his own speech now as much as he can.  I even let him play on the iPhone now, and he can navigate pretty well without destroying any of my data or setup.  I am a little concerned about cell phone RF, and I keep the phone away from the kids' heads whenever possible.  Naomi usually uses the speakerphone.  For info on a specific phone, see the info here.

Naomi and C., collecting their "soil" and planting their "tree."

Lucas spends so much time cleaning up the sand.

tsunami:

My friend called last night to tell me her flight to pick up her son from Taiwan got diverted due to the tsunami.  I pray for mercy and help to pour in quickly (and now a solution to cooling the reactor), especially with the radiation that has leaked.  We have one friend in Japan whom I'm trying to contact.  So tragic.  It's hard for me not to think, "How does this affect our neck of the woods?" but it's really a small world.  Nowadays, it's easy for people anywhere and everywhere to help.  World Vision and American Red Cross.

chinese parents:

An article on Chinese parenting has been sparking controversy.  I have many opinions on the topic having been through it firsthand, but suffice it to say, one can always have the right motivations and even the right results, but still go about it the wrong way.  The ends don't justify the means.  Yes, in the example she used, her daughter does master this piano piece and learn that perseverance, even when you don't have passion, talent, or even interest, increases confidence and attracts opportunities.  Practice makes perfect.  Hard work pays off.  As Naomi put it, she has to climb the mountain, and then she can sled down (she added she would call down to the cottage and make me bring a sled up for her--hmmm).  The ideas sound universal, but it's the way certain first-generation Chinese and other nationalities go about it that is called into question.

Comparing myself against the writer's list of things her children were never allowed to do:

• have a playdate - yep
• attend a sleepover - yep
• be in a school play - yep
• complain about not being in a school play - yep
• watch TV or play computer games - nope, once we actually got a TV, I was allowed to watch it and play video games all the time.
• choose their own extracurricular activities - yep
• get any grade less than an "A" - yep, almost disowned for my one "A-", on a quarter report in pre-calculus (i.e., didn't even count).
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama - pretty much.
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin - yep, even though we had no money, public schools offered classes and instruments back then.
• not play the piano or violin - yep, but I quit violin in the 10th grade anyway.  Had to make room for all those AP classes, but I didn't miss it at all.

The writer didn't mention how we also "had" to be doctors.  I've seen friends who were very poor and short on opportunities eventually become doctors, and I'm so proud of them.  On the other hand, I also have seen a Chinese dentist who was very book-smart but seemed to struggle with the hands-on aspect.

Pros (this is my personal experience; I don't speak for everyone):  The strongest lesson I learned was the delay or denial of gratification.  The need for instant gratification leads to poor choices.  I believe children raised this way mature and become independent quickly, because we are taught we owe our parents (though my view on this has changed), rather than our parents having to take care of us well into adulthood.  We learn not to be deterred by our shortcomings or lack of desire, which leads to a strong work ethic.  Many will go forward and overcome difficulties despite the world telling them they can't do something, just like the doctor friends I mentioned.  We don't look for excuses or shortcuts if we don't believe in them.  Additionally, there is a respect for elders and authority that I still think is often missing among youth.  Beyond the lessons learned is the proven success rate, which leads our parents to say, "See, I didn't take it too far--you're better off now."

The cons:  My parents were way too hard on us.  There is an emphasis on negative reinforcement, such as ridicule, rather than instruction by positive example.  Yes, there is praise, but the way you earn it is different and it's not often part of the reinforcement.  The worst lesson I learned, and have had to unlearn, is that achievements validate you.  Our worth is placed in pleasing our parents, and if we aren't number one, we aren't doing our best.  We might become socially awkward, being so culturally different, so competitive, so low on sleep and diversion, and so stuck in the books.  We aren't encouraged to pursue just what interests us.  My parents did not want me to pursue art, history, or writing, though they were my passions at the time.  In college, while struggling through my engineering-related courses as a freshman, I took an upper-division history class and got an A+ on an essay.  The professor said he was surprised I was a freshman ChemE major when the class was filled with senior history majors.  But I had to go forward with the engineering and leave my less lucrative interests behind.  As a junior or senior (?) I took just one other, and last, upper-div history course and again got all A's in the course without much effort.  I never felt comfortable in my major, though eventually my grades picked up.  Even though I paid my own way through college and didn't have to do anything, I felt that was how to honor my parents and my heritage at the time.  In the end, yes, I made the grades and some money, and yes I met another successful engineer from Stanford to procreate more of our kind.  My parents' only regret is that we're not both doctors from Harvard med.  Beyond that, they ignore the psychological, physiological, and sociological damage because that is secondary.  I had an Asian friend a long time ago who eventually committed suicide on graduation day, perhaps because he wasn't actually graduating or even enrolled where he said he was.  I think about him often, about what drives us to that, and how we tend to bury such stories.

Also different in my experience was that I didn't really have to study that hard to excel in school until college, but I did have to overcome a lot of struggles with poverty, bullying, ostracism, constant upheaval and moving, and family troubles which I can't even get into.  I was also a latchkey kid (thus being able to watch TV a lot more).  It still fell in line with the thinking pounded into me--no matter what your life is like, you have no excuse for not doing better.  There is always more you can sacrifice.

When I began to struggle academically, that was good for me in that it led me to question the meaning of my life and eventually find the answer in Christ.  Nowadays I feel my intelligence has faded, but I'm learning to put more focus on my character as I raise my own children.

Many years ago, a friend/coworker of ours had a birthday party.  During the dinner, he went around and said a little compliment about everyone.  When he got to us, he simply said that Manny and I were very competitive, and nothing else.  This was one of the most humbling experiences we've ever had, and it pretty much rid us of all our competitiveness.  Competing with yourself to do your best is one thing, but being known for that and seeing how it affected others, it's not what we wanted for our lives.  And by the way, this guy was Chinese.  It was one of the best things that ever happened to us.  Not comparing your situation or "success" to another's goes a long way to helping you understand your true worth.  (PS I'm purposely not speaking for Manny, but we had a really great discussion about this article).

Though I often hear my parents in me, I don't want to be that way.  Then sometimes I might flip and desire too much for the kids to "find" themselves.  There is a balanced manual for us--the bible.  Discipline, respect, perseverance, delayed gratification, wisdom, etc.--it's all there and much, much more.  And these traits surround desires and motivations in which we can be interested, passionate, even gifted.  We only need to be concerned with pleasing our heavenly Father.  All else is given to us within His timing and control.  Pray for me to excel in that.

rescue:

Normally don't discuss the news, but I'm currently watching the miner rescue before I doze off.  I enjoy watching rescues, for literal and metaphorical reasons.  Out of the darkness and into the light.  So thankful they got out.

samaritan's courage:

This story is so moving.  I actually saw the alerts last night on FB, but didn't know if it was real (no city of origin listed).  We say "good Samaritan" nowadays, perhaps without knowing that Samaritans were looked down upon in that time.  Actually, there was great enmity between them and the Jews.  It doesn't matter your race, history, citizenship, education, etc.--if in that moment you have that kind of courage, you have the ability to possibly save a life. 

When I was young, I remember this woman getting beaten and mugged as we were pulling out of a parking lot.  My father immediately stopped the car and went after the man, running into the dark.  I had the fear the man had a gun and I would not ever see my father again.  My father actually caught him.  It is a foolish thing in some aspects.  I probably wouldn't step in like that, but I think whenever you have the capacity to do something, do it.  It's the reason I stay outside with the neighborhood kids when they play.  Well, I can't trust my own kids to always be safe, but even more so, I can't trust that someone won't come by and harm them, intentionally or unintentionally.  Not that I'm the best parent, but we all have to look out for our little ones.  I've known people who feel that 4 is the cut-off age for having to be watched.  I actually think more like 14!

accents and tildes:

From our multilingual friend and missionary, Angie.  Here's how to type words or letters with accents and tildes, without having to enter the ASCII code each time or copy and paste from an internet document (what I've been doing):  

1. Go to Control Panel
2. Click on Regional and Language Options
3. Open the middle window called “Languages”
4. Click on “Details” and remain in the “Settings” window.
5. Use the “Add..” button to add “United States-International” to your list of languages.... See More
6. Click on “Language Bar…” and select “Show the Language bar on the desktop.”
7. Make sure that you’ve selected United States-International on your desktop.

That’s it! Now, all you do is when you want to use accents, you type a ‘ before the letter you want an accent on. If you just want a ‘ then you have to type it twice. If you want a tilde (the thingie over the n, as in ñ), you need to hold down the shift key, type the tilde symbol (it’s near/next to the esc button), then type the letter n. If you want to type an umlaut, as in ü, hold down the shift key, type “ and then type the letter you want to type. There are few others, and you should be able to find a full list of commands if you do a search online. I’ve found it makes it a lot easier to communicate in writing intelligently, b/c accent marks are there for a good reason, if they are a headache to remember! I hope some find this helpful!

trekaroo:

I thought I'd mentioned this site before, but I can't find it.  A friend's friend started Trekaroo, a travel site for families, and I've used it numerous times.  Before that, I'd go and do Ctrl+F "kids" or "children" on travel reviews.  I've found it to be very helpful, and it's worth a look!

forgotten disneyland:

Any of you remember the People Mover, Skyway, Country Bear Jamboree, Tom Sawyer Island, etc.? Good ole days, huh? Here is an interesting video series about the fate of some parts of those rides and locations. I understand the need to upgrade, though. I think I liked the old Space Mountain design more, yet I like the new Finding Nemo ride better than the old submarines. I miss the old look of Tomorrowland the most, I think. I'm trying to see Captain Eo sometime before it closes as well. P.S. Yes, new blog template--yay, no more truncated videos.

info for sunscreens, vaccines, cosmetics, soy:

Best/Worst Sunscreens - Go to "Find Your Sunscreen" to check for harmful chemicals, SPF issues, etc.

Rotavirus Vaccine Safety Issues

Cosmetics Database - Cosmetics safety.  Probably important, considering how we put make-up on our eyes and lips and skin.

Soy Survey - Not all stuff labeled "soy" is beneficial for our health.

i'm a starfish:

How do you sleep?  I always take these with a grain of salt, but they're interesting.  I know two "freefallers," and none of that is true about either of them.

Edited to add:  When it's cold, I sleep in the fetal position.  Manny is a fetus, Naomi is a log, and Lucas is a yearner.

chrome:

Angie mentioned switching to Google Chrome, and I decided to do a trial run.  So far, it's way better than IE, which isn't saying much, but it's also surprisingly more reliable for me than Firefox.  It's now my default browser.  I like that I can search in the same bar where I enter the URL, since I often Google sites when I'm too lazy to type out the URL.  The bookmarks took me a minute to figure out, but I put the bookmark bar on permanent display, so now it's all there.  Good stuff.  I've heard that Google tracks users heavily, but I hope I can figure out how to change those settings.  Naomi said she doesn't want to switch because all of her "Favorites" are on "E" (what she calls IE) and that's why she also doesn't like "Fox."  I tried importing them, but they didn't all transfer.

toyota update:

Toyota Prius Horror Hoax

Sounds like another balloon boy incident?

should siennas be part of the recall?:

Yesterday, a man driving a Prius, which he was told by the dealer was not part of the recall list, had a close call when his car became stuck at speeds over 90 mph.  The Prius is not part of the gas pedal list, but is inclulded in the floor mat recall; however, the driver says his mats are hooked in place.  I've seen recommendations to apply the emergency brake and stand on the gas pedal, trying to bring the car to a lower speed where one can put the car in neutral and turn it off when it slows down.  Owners have reported that at higher speeds (>60), the car won't come down to neutral, and turning the engine off will make you lose the power steering.  I'd probably at least try it. 

I drive the kids around in an '08 Sienna, which is not part of the Toyota recall lists.  However, researching online, I found dozens of complaints/incidents of sudden or uncontrollable acceleration by owners of Siennas made in the past few years.  Not that I go at high speeds often, but a number of these hiccups appeared to occur at any speed, some at very low speeds while pulling a car in or at a red light.  The person would put their foot on the brake, but the car would instead accelerate rapidly.  Sidestreet acceleration might be even more dangerous than the highway.  I don't buy that it's just a floor mat-gas pedal problem either.  I hope they will just come clean or at least read over these reports.  And I hope I'll be able to handle it, should this ever happen to us.  I also need to make sure the cruise control switch is never accidentally hit.  I pass by areas with lots of children on the sidewalks all the time; this is a huge concern for me, let alone having two little ones myself.  I'm not so panicked that I'm never driving it again, but I'm more aware now of the potential danger.

Here are the instructions I found for searching online:

http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/
then select "Recalls, Defects and Complaints" from the menu on the left
then select "Search Complaints" near the top of the menu on the left
On the right side of the next screen, click "Search Selected Type" under where the word "Vehicle" is checked

Select year of you car in the "Select Year" pull down menu and click "Submit Year"
Select "Toyota" from the "Select Make" pull down menu and click "Submit Make"
Select "Sienna" from the "Select Model" pull down menu and click "Submit Model"
Pick "Vehicle Speed Control" from the "Select Component" menu and click "Retrieve Complaints"
[Also check the box for the full summaries if you want details]
Click the "Get Summary" link next to each complaint for details. Interesting stuff.

Does anyone know why Siennas and SUVs aren't part of the recall?  The number and similarity of the reports online, like this one, show that it should be:

ATTEMPTED TO ACCELERATE TO PASS A LARGE TRUCK AND VEHICLE STARTED ACCELERATING OUT OF CONTROL. TRIED TO BRAKE AND THAT DIDN'T WORK. APPLIED FOOT BRAKE AND THAT DIDN'T WORK. SPEED MAY HAVE INCREASED TO APPROX 70-80 MPH. SPEEDOMETER SHOW APPROX 45 MPH. UNABLE TO STEER VEHICLE. IT WAS AS IF THE MOTOR HAD STOPPED AND I HAD NO POWER STEERING. AFTER HITTING 2-3 VEHICLES AND THEN THE RIGHT LANE BRIDGE WALL THE FRONT TIRE AND STEERING ASSEMBLY BENT INWARD AND THAT CAUSED THE VAN TO STOP. THANK GOD THAT NOONE WAS INJURED BUT SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG. I'VE SEEN SEVERAL COMPLAINTS OF SUDDEN ACCELERATION IN SIENNA VANS AND THIS NEED MUCH ATTENTION.

It would be horrible if they have not included the Siennas just because it has a different gas pedal (which it does), so that they can continue sticking to the gas pedal issue as the root cause.  I know that we as a society tend to want to blame others, which bothers me as well (yes, I'm into conspiracy theories but not frivolous lawsuits), but I think the evidence is there, and it should be considered.

family night:

We went to Outback Steakhouse Sunday afternoon with another giftcard. Yummy yummy. Forgot the photo. Lucas only ate some french fries and broccoli at the restaurant, but then came home and had four egg whites, two whole oranges, and almost two granola bars.  After dinner, I chopped four inches off Naomi's hair. Long overdue. Naomi got to have some ice cream, too.  Then, Manny, Naomi, I, and sometimes Lucas played a demo of this PS3 game called "Little Big Planet." Afterward, Naomi wanted to pray to thank God for our wonderful family night. :)  We also called Grandma--Manny has called his mom almost every week since I've known him.  She is doing well now, recovering from knee surgery. It was nice to have quality time together.

Random photo:  Lucas and I get some 1-on-1 time at the park when Naomi's in her gymnastics class.  He didn't want me to hold his hand after the first time across the bridge.  He ran back and forth across it for many iterations.  One thing about him--he's a lot more into repetition than Naomi.

Our hearts still go out to those suffering in Haiti. This story really hit me in the gut.  We went with World Vision, also an established organization.

red cross:

Probably the best place to donate right now is through the Red Cross. They are asking for money instead of trying to ship supplies or care packages. My understanding is that there are practically no roads there and no means of distributing such supplies without chaos. And some charities and the State Dept have made it easy to donate by texting (some of the sites have viruses or are hoaxes, so it maybe be best to stick with IRC/ARC). Manny and I saw a documentary about how impoverished Haitians have to resort to eating dirt mixed with water and dried into cakes. I can't imagine the devastation.