learning isaac:

All children are unique, but it's amazing how different they are even as infants.  Both our kids loved their baths from the start, but Isaac not so much.  He fusses a lot, about two hours straight each evening (but it's usually three hours straight for colic, so not quite there and nowhere close to Naomi's marathon screaming).  He's also wide awake for two hours in the middle of the night, and I haven't been able to switch him yet (but he also does this during the day).  Isaac seems pretty mad sometimes, especially when he turns completely red when crying.  Naomi didn't calm down in the swing, Lucas liked to sleep in the swing, and Isaac also doesn't like it.  Neither of the other two liked to be rocked, but Isaac seems to be breaking that mold as well.  Naomi could get lulled to sleep in the car, Lucas screamed the most during car rides, and Isaac seems to calm a little but not for long.  The way they like to nurse is all different.  Naomi didn't thrive well and was down to 0th percentile in weight but average height.  Lucas grew well his first few months, then dropped considerably at 10-11 months and has remained on the small side.  Isaac is growing well so far, even being 82nd percentile height and 55th percentile weight at 2 weeks (I've never seen numbers that high with our kids).  We'll see how that changes over time.  They do look alike, especially Isaac and Naomi as a baby, and Isaac is pretty awake and makes constant eye contact like Naomi did.  Lucas was a pretty easy baby by comparison, but I'd rather have the fussy baby/toddler that ends up easier, like Naomi, than the easy baby that ends up being a real handful, like Lucas.  Or maybe with Isaac, I'll have it challenging in both phases.  I hope not!

Even the pregnancies were all different.  With Naomi, I vomited all nine months, craved sweets (which I never liked before), and she kicked me around the clock like she never slept.  With Lucas, I stopped vomiting after the first trimester, I had no real cravings, and he kicked me like clockwork at 1-2 a.m. every single day.  With Isaac, I didn't stop vomiting till after the second trimester, craved spicy foods (again, which I never liked before), and he hardly ever kicked at all.  It's like a cartoon--I craved spicy foods and now I have a baby that turns beet red and cries rather angrily.  Naomi cried all the time, but it was a pain cry.

It will be interesting seeing how different Isaac turns out than the others.  I do feel like Lucas is getting lost in the shuffle, though I didn't think he'd have middle child syndrome due to the age difference.  I'm doing what I can to show him I love him the same, and he's no longer having his lengthy meltdowns of the past weeks, but he makes it hard for me when he bothers the baby so much and sometimes even tries to hurt him.  

I don't favor any child over another.  I thought I might because one of my friends said if you don't favor one, you're lying or lying to yourself, but I honestly don't.  Maybe it's because they are so different from each other, or maybe it's because they're all the same--they're our beautiful little gifts, all wrapped in different packages.

First bath at home, at about a week old:

Get me out of here!

Whew, glad that's over with.  Do I look pretty?

isaac's birth story:

So we had a baby, his name is Isaac Manuel Zhi-Heng (智恆) Hernandez, and here's the story:

On Wednesday morning at 1 a.m., I was hit with a new level of painful contractions, irregular like the ones from the weekend, but not going away.  I was in denial, and was hoping I'd be able to hold out till the next morning to be sure I had my same obgyn doing the surgery.  Manny told me to go on bedrest and call if they got closer.  At about 1 p.m., I noticed they were getting closer, but I still didn't call.  Thankfully, my in-laws were here and watched the kids while I continued tracking.  Finally, at about 3:30 p.m., the contractions became unbearable and I called the doctor.  The staff told me I should have called at the first onset of labor (because I have to do c-sections) and needed to go in right away.  So Manny came home, but he did manage to have dinner and chat, and then we were on our way.

We got to Labor & Delivery and saw the Patient Registration desk closed.  A worker said we needed to go to the main hospital.  I was confused.  Then somewhere in there I think I told her I was actually in labor.  She asked if I was pre-admitted, and I was, so off we went.  Then we had to stop the elevator to go up.  When I apologized, the man inside said, "That's okay.  I can always wait for someone who's pregnant.  When are you due?"  I said, "Um, right now?"  He said, "Yeah, you can't wait."  Then he realized I was serious.  "Really?  You look like you're only about five months pregnant."  Yes, I get that a lot.  :)  Up to L&D and we were stopped by Security.  "Do you have visitors' passes?"  I said, "Um, I'm in labor.  I need to go in."  He looked surprised, and we finally made our way in.  I had also expected a tiny baby, but we got a 7 1/2 pounder!  Not huge, but almost a pound heavier than our previous two.  He was 19 1/2 inches long, born March 27, 2013 at 6:49 p.m.

I remembered everything but my camera!  Thankfully, Manny had his phone, so here are a couple of photos from the hospital.  Also, a professional came and took photos of us in the hospital, and we brought the blanket Aunt Quinka made for the background.  Here's the slideshow.

The newest member of our family.

Aw, look at those cheeks.  

 Naomi's delivery was really, really hard.  Lucas's birth was actually a fairly easy one, except it was still major surgery.  This one I would say was somewhere in between.  Everything hurt and felt worse than last time.  I am allergic to Vicodin and get sick from Tylenol, so the nurses and pharmacists worked hard to find me something more than ibuprofen.  I kept saying I was okay, but they knew I wasn't--my recovery seemed to be falling behind expectation.  They came across oxycodone without acetaminophen, and it worked.  Unfortunately, it made me too drowsy, and when I went to sleep, I had all these weird images in my mind.  So I only took it twice for the day of the worst pain, and just bore with it for the rest.  Either way, my doctor said it is a rare medicine that I probably will not find stocked in most pharmacies.

So Isaac's first order of business when he was born--he peed on the nurse as she was cleaning him up.  Then while I was getting stitched up, he cried inconsolably for an hour and a half.  Then they brought me out, and he latched on to me like a pro.  Hungry, angry baby, they said.  Through the course of our hospital stay, no less than three nurses and a doctor called him angry.  He turns a bright beet red from head to toe when he's upset, which is often.  We'd never seen that before.  Maybe all the spicy food cravings meant something.

At night, I would send him to the nursery for 4-5 hours so I could sleep.  He, like Lucas before him, went through way more formula than many other infants there.  But I wasn't concerned he wasn't stimulating my milk supply.  One nurse said I must have the record for nursing--1.5 hours straight.  Our kids don't give up.  I'm thinking that I will only nurse for a few months if this keeps up.  

Despite the fatigue and pain, I was continuously thankful.  I got through my third module of Compelled training (highly recommend), read a little of a book a friend gave us at the shower, and spent some time helping a friend in need.  It was a good reminder that we still have work to do for God, whatever is going on in life.  It's much bigger than our own to-do lists.

Two nurses on separate shifts said I was the calmest mom, and that they wished all their patients could be like me.  It's all glory to God, but I was also stuck on thinking how it wasn't really true, at least not at home, and I want that to change.  The way I was at the hospital is how I wish I always was despite circumstances.  I got the sense that the staff worked so hard for me to get that medicine because I was pleasant and friendly to them.  At home, on the other hand, for a moment I think anger is the way to get the kids to listen, because it seems to work, and it's simply not true.  Instant gratification gives you instant results, but not true change or success.  Manny reminds me I can't reach our children's hearts this way and can actually drive them away, even if they behave on the outside.  Manny and I don't dwell on compliments and pat ourselves on the back, but we take them as a reminder of how we can do better.  

My favorite part of the hospital stay was the time I had with Manny (huge thank you to Manny's parents for watching the kids, especially with Lucas acting up).  After three kids and the tolls it's taken, this family still starts with our marriage.  We watched a couple NCAA games together, but we were more just enjoying our time together.  This was the closest we've ever had to a vacation together since Naomi was born, even though it was just me in a hospital bed and him sitting in the chair next to me, with some nice people offering us warm chocolate chip cookies from a cart.  :)

"Isaac" was in our short list of names since before Naomi was born.  Plus we liked the meaning of laughter, of finding out we had a surprise baby in our (relatively) old age, just as Abraham and Sarah did.  His name remained unchanged, he didn't leave his land, and he lived the longest.  So there's an idea of longevity there.  "Isaac" also has five letters like our other two.  We still weren't completely sure about it, but Naomi really liked it, just as she had liked Lucas's name.  She is, however, far less impressed by the repeat middle name.  I was, too, but I couldn't come up with something better.  I worked on the Chinese name with my mom, but ended up just picking it myself.  "Zhi" means wisdom and "Heng" means permanence or constancy.  I had the meaning before I had the name.  For Naomi and Lucas, their Chinese names were easy to pronounce (Shi-An and Yi-Jian), but I wanted to go with something different this time.  Zhi-Heng is pronounced differently than it's spelled (closer to zh hung).  Naomi's name would more commonly be spelled Xi-An, but that's a province, so I changed it.  Otherwise, we have an X, Y, and a Z, after Manny and I initially agreed:  no X, Y, or Z Chinese names.  :) 

update, kids palm sunday, grand prix:

I've had painful contractions every 5-15 minutes since 1 a.m.  They're more intense than the ones I had during the weekend, but there is still no pain in my back and they're not getting closer together.  So now I'm just waiting for a pattern or for it to get down to 2-5 minutes like I did with the previous two.  I'd rather not go and get sent home, and I really want my doctor to be the one who does the surgery.  I also don't want to disrupt Manny's workday, although of course he told me that's not a valid reason.  We'll see how it goes.

I might have just overdone it yesterday--we all had some urgent phone calls and a lot to do--so I'm going to try to lie down as much as possible today and keep counting those contractions on a phone app while trying to sleep.  So far this morning, they're about 10-20 minutes apart.

I did make it to Naomi's performance and the Grand Prix, so I'm very thankful for that!   Naomi was a little disappointed to come in last in her heat, but her overall time wasn't too bad.  We didn't interfere with her design this year, but she said next time she'd like some help with designing for speed.  It's a good lesson in physics, and she'll still be able to do the final painting herself.

Naomi waiting to go to church.

Lucas and Grandpa.

The kids giving praise.

Naomi's is the pink Hello Kitty car.

Lucas getting a closer look.  Naomi's on the other side playing with her friends.

Let's roll!

Kids' performance starts about two minutes in:

march madness:

Friday night and almost all of Saturday night, I had nonstop contractions every five to ten minutes.  It was tiring and painful, but they weren't increasing in intensity or regular enough to be true contractions.  Finally on Sunday night, they subsided.  Perhaps I was dehydrated and overdid it cleaning or stressing.  

Manny took Naomi to a Palm Sunday music rehearsal on Saturday, and then his parents arrived for lunch at Five Guys.  Everything I eat tastes really good right now.  I eat all day and sometimes in the middle of the night.  Manny's parents will stay here to watch the kids and then a little while after we return from the hospital.  I wasn't in a great mood that day--weepy, hormonal, self-focused, but Manny and I reconciled and had a good talk.

Naomi did a great job, even though she hadn't gone to rehearsal because I wasn't sure we were going to make it to Palm Sunday.  Glad Manny decided to take her.  She was really concentrating.  Like our pastor said, it was wonderful to see all the different ways they were worshiping in music.  Some people at our church sort of bounce to the music, some do hand signs, some raise their arms, some raise their hands only slightly, some clap, some don't, and we don't really move much at all.  Whatever others are led to do is fine by me.  The sermon was centered on 1 Peter 4.  It was kind of impressive how much our pastor covered while still maintaining a clear direction and focus.  I've really been encouraged and convicted by this series about the intersection of life and faith.

My friend came to visit, and she joined us for a Mediterranean lunch and ome frozen yogurt afterward.  Manny's parents treated her; they are super nice like that and take care of so many people.  After we came home, Grandma watched the kids outside.  She actually kicked a ball around with Lucas, which can be quite tiring.  Naomi and her neighbor friend swept and piled leaves outside before coming in to spend the afternoon.  

I'm still getting painful contractions throughout the day, but no labor.  I really would like to go into labor at the same time as my scheduled c-section, like I did with Lucas, but I know the odds are small.  It would help with the surgery if I haven't eaten eight hours before (and I am eating often and a lot).  I'm at 39 weeks now, so I'm okay whenever it happens, but it would be great to make it to Naomi's car race at Awana after all the work she and Manny put into it.  I've been advised that getting to 39 weeks is important for the baby's development, and going into true labor (vs. induced or scheduled) is supposed to help with the recovery.  Because of my hip/uterus alignment problems, I have been told by doctors that I cannot give birth naturally without a lot of risk to myself and the baby.  I have a lot of risks with my medicinal allergies, but those are less of a risk to the baby.  Three c-sections is it for my health, though, so I'm getting a tubal ligation.  All that matters is a healthy baby, but if you can help it, I think it's better to go the natural route.

I had my FB open last night, and Manny decided to have some fun with it.  He cracks me up, but I was a little embarrassed!  

Basketball:  Manny and I are currently 1st and 2nd in our NCAA tournament group, which Manny does every year with his Stanford friends.  I picked UCLA to lose in the first round (and was right), while Manny had them winning more.  So much for my school spirit.  :/  I'm rooting for the underdogs regardless of the bracket.  I like the story of how Florida GC was just a swamp and some trailers and a dream, and the players are older than the school itself.    

More misc photos:

Having some corned beef and cabbage soup with Irish soda bread at Sweet T.omatoes for St. Patrick's Day.  The kids and I wore green, and Manny doesn't usually do that.

Here I am at 38 weeks.  My belly looks small, especially for a third kid, but I'm measuring normal.  I'm not a belly photo person, but I have to take one at least for the memories/scrapbook.  I actually notice more how much I look like my mom.  I always looked more like my dad as a kid.

Easter baskets from Grandma and Grandpa!

Having kabobs, wraps, pizza, and falafels at T.averna.

Lucas got a cone, and was very happy.  He said that when he gets a bowl and it melts, then he can't get to it.

Neighborhood kids having outdoor playtime.  Grandma kicked the ball around with Lucas.  I don't know how she did it for so long.  He didn't want to come back in, of course, and decided to get on his little scooter and take off (and got in trouble).

home stretch:

My last and final prenatal appointment went well.  Both the kids came with me.  The baby is moving more, my fundal height is still measuring okay, and I'm gaining almost a pound a week (though the way I'm eating, I feel like I should be gaining five).  So glad to be done with carrying around urine samples.  I'm having contractions off and on, but nothing regular.  My in-laws are arriving shortly.  I had contractions last night till 2:30 a.m., but so glad they stopped before I'd have to wake friends up in an emergency to take the kids.  The overnight bag is mostly packed.  I'm feeling pretty good this last trimester, especially compared to the other two.  It feels like a grace period before the surgery and round-the-clock newborn care.

The last couple of weeks have been sort of a last hurrah for us before the baby's arrival.  I might have overdone it with housework, and I had to stop when I felt pain.  I waited to wash, fold, open certain things just because I didn't know if this baby was okay, but the nesting instinct was in full force.  I vacuum upstairs sitting in a chair with wheels and roll around, I do the dishes while turned to one side (no room for the belly), and the kids help me get clothes from the dryer so I don't have to repeatedly bend over.  Cooking is becoming more challenging, and a meal from a friend midweek came at just the right time.  The kids are also understanding that I'm not going to be as quick or mobile.  They are being fairly independent, or Naomi helps me a lot with Lucas, although Lucas still needs my help with the bathroom (and he goes often).  I tried to teach him how to wipe, but after years of taking little kids to the restroom, I know how poorly they wipe (often nothing gets on the toilet paper at all) and would rather be on the safe side.

I've kept to the same schedule of Lucas's speech classes twice a week, Lego Club, ISP, Awana, and of course, school each day.  I took the kids to the park one last time as well, and that was probably too hard for me.  It sounds busy, but it's nowhere as busy and stressful as it was the first months of the pregnancy.

So the thing with Lego Club is that I pulled Naomi out after she did not listen to my or the teacher's instructions to remain seated and listen.  She usually will listen, but her friend kept getting up, and Naomi decided to follow her, even looking at me knowing she was disobeying.  Naomi is generally not a follower, but this girl in particular has a strong influence on her.  The girl is a Christian, but that's not enough to say you should follow someone else over what is right.  On the other hand, I forget sometimes that she's older now, that just taking a privilege away just to teach her a lesson or show who's boss is not enough to reach her heart and help her make better choices in the future.  Manny reminded me about that, and he tried to see if we could work out a way for her to earn her way back back.  I can't take her anyway for a while, but it's something we'll still be working through.

My mother's lung growths appear to be calcified, so they are not cancerous, thankfully.  She also was able to switch doctors.  Her last one kept cancelling appointments on her, saying she (the doctor) was out sick when it was confirmed she wasn't.  The new doctor is young, but more pleasant and willing to listen to her.  Going through the county for her health care is a pain with delay after delay and not the best care, but at least she has options.  I'm sorry other people's tax dollars are paying for her health care, but she has worked herself to the bone all her life, so they're not paying for her to be lazy, though they could have made better decisions.

Some miscellaneous photos from a couple of weeks ago:

Naomi picked a birthday card with sweet sentiments for her aunt.  This is the first time she's signed a card in cursive, and the first time Lucas has signed any card at all.

The kids at the park.  Looks like there's room for one more!

Lucas impressed by the motorized water fountain on Naomi and T's creation.

Naomi's first Chinese writing ever--says "Ma Ma" (mother)

Naomi draws pretty well freehand, considering she's never had a drawing lesson.  These are dragons for her Chinese lanterns.  We are studying Asian countries in school at the moment.

more girl time / pregnancy update and sleep worries:

After church last week, Naomi and I had some girl time again with my friend and her daughter.  Her daughter likes Asian food, so sometimes they go out to have some, and end up being the only blondes there.  :)  We had lunch together and then they came over to visit.  I'm very thankful to have her in my life.  Our girls are great friends, too.  She coordinated an extremely generous group gift for us from various ladies in the church, and she's coordinating meals for us after my in-laws return home.  I have received an abundance of hand-me-downs as well.  I can't even express my gratitude.

The girls with their beef ball and rice stick soup.

I'm still feeling overwhelmed by all the love.  I really needed it this time around.  It's been a tough pregnancy, with all that's been going on in our lives, our family, Manny's group at work.  I don't even know if I'm raising my two children well (but I sure try and pray a lot).  I don't always get a lot of affirmation from Manny, although he gives me a lot of wisdom and love, and helps me stay grounded.  Maybe he's not the type to flatter, or has really high expectations of me, or maybe he does it in a way I don't always see clearly.

Sometimes I want to tell him how hard things are because I think it will garner understanding, but the way I talk, I guess it sounds more like I'm complaining or making excuses (maybe it sounds like I'm doing that  now, but I sense that women will understand what I'm saying).  I'm learning to give it to God and not download on my husband when he's home.  I don't want to care what people say, and am not one to fish for compliments, but I need encouragement sometimes.  I know Manny needs more from me as well.  With kids I feel like you can't always be there for each other the way you want or need.

If it weren't for the fact that I see this child as a gift to my husband and children, as God's special blessing, I'd be really uneasy about having a third.  I love the baby already, but I'm concerned about loving him right and juggling love between the four (my husband and the three kids).  I will definitely accept or request more help this time around from friends.  I know people want to help, and I've helped others, but when it comes to asking for help ourselves, Manny and I have not been so great about it.  It's not that I'm not humble enough to ask, but more that I really don't want to trouble or put people on the spot or be disappointed when they don't show up (has happened a few times).  I've been so independent all my life, unsure about whom I could trust or depend on.  Four families from church volunteered themselves to be "on call" if I go into labor before my in-laws arrive.  God knows our needs, and I was reminded it is okay and even good to let people love you and help you.

I'm also thankful the kids have often been willing helpers.  I don't know if I've said this already, but even with Naomi just making the beds and Lucas taking clothes in and out of the dryer, it's felt like a huge help because it hurts for me to push or pull too much weight.  There's so much, too much, to do before the baby arrives, and I waited till the end (something I never like to do) because I really wasn't sure the baby was okay.  The baby has moved so little this pregnancy, but finally started moving at 33 weeks, only to stop again.

The latest update is that last Tuesday I noticed decreased movement.  It's not unusual for the last few weeks of pregnancy when there's less room to move around, but the change seemed abrupt.  I stayed up almost all of Tuesday night waiting for movement after drinking juice and lying down, but I didn't get much movement, at least nowhere near what it was the day and night before.  Wednesday morning around 7 a.m., I did finally get some weak movements and figured that was fine.  We were out until the afternoon, and then I came home and lied on my side and tried to do a kick count again during the kids' quiet time.  Pretty much nothing but a couple flutters in an hour.  I went to the doctor the next day, and he decided to do a non-stress test to make sure things were normal.  Lucas went with me.  I had drunk juice and soda earlier, and the doctor shook and prodded my belly to get the baby to "wake up," but we only had one kick in 30 minutes, which is not enough.  There were none of the normal random heart accelerations, but there was also no deceleration to indicate distress.  At 45 minutes, Lucas (who had been incredibly good and just sitting in the corner with nothing to do for over an hour) came over and beat my belly like a drum and screamed into it.  The doctor had stepped out for a minute.  When he returned, there they were--accelerations.  Lucas had woken the baby up just in the nick of time.  Had there been no movement, I'd be sent in for an ultrasound.  If signs of distress appeared, I'd have to be prepped for an emergency delivery.  So it was a scare, but turned out uneventful.  The hope is that this baby is just mellow and not deprived of oxygen (which is usually indicated by nonreactive results on a fetal non-stress test).  I've actually started looking up some diseases, just to be prepared.

Lucas and Naomi also were sick last week.  It was a short run, with just a sore throat for Naomi and some sniffles for Lucas.  I had to keep getting up and taking care of them on Friday, but I did feel more movement.  Then Saturday it died down yet again.  Lucas was really clingy, probably from being sick, so Manny and I were up a lot on Friday night/Saturday morning.  Manny hasn't really ever been up with the kids at night, but he's trying to help me so I can get more rest before the baby comes.  He has to work late hours and can't function with interrupted sleep, so I've done my best to take all the getting up on myself.  But then I run out of energy and get desperate and sleep with the child, which causes conflict.  There's so much for me to do, though, for my family and for others, and I need sleep.  But then I have to start all over.  Our kids don't sleep well when it rains, either (likely due to the large windows of our townhouse and all the tapping).  I have to say I'm not a fan of Daylight Savings Time in the spring!  It's not to make excuses, just to understand the reasons.  Naomi did start sleeping well and being able to get herself to bed when she was four.  Lucas bugs her a lot at night, though, when we've tried to have them sleep in the same room.  She's so patient with him, but it's not acceptable when he's jumping on her and making her get him things.  This can go on past midnight if we let it.

It's hard, and doing it all over again is really not something I'm looking forward to.  Lucas was trained from the start, too.  He slept through the night at 5 weeks till he was 11 months, and then it was downhill once he became more aware (remember he beat his face bloody in the crib).  Naomi had her health issues, frequent night terrors, etc. but God knows how hard I tried to train her anyway.  And then she just did it on her own.  It's hard when you do all you can, get up night after night, and it's often one step forward and two steps back.  The worst part for me was those who kept telling me I needed to work harder at it.  I slept less than my kids at their age, so maybe they get it from me.  I think for me, I have a hard time dealing with being judged when I haven't slept much and worked so hard in the eight years we've had children.  I don't watch TV, I don't have time to get haircuts, and I am on my feet or out all the time, even when I'm really sick.  I'm really an open book, but I know if you put anything out there about yourself, and you have to accept that people misjudge you regardless.  That is part of wanting to bottle feed the kids as well, but Manny and my friends have encouraged me to breastfeed again.  I will do my best not to be a human pacifier yet again.   Please, can we just get a heavy sleeper this time around?

dual baby shower:

A couple friends, A & M, threw a dual baby shower brunch for J and me last Saturday.  It was a lovely, intimate shower with mutual old church friends and the family of the other mom-to-be.  I declined the shower several times for many reasons, but A would not take no for an answer.  However, I'm glad she did it in the end--the time we had together in prayer and encouragement was invaluable to me.  She has four kids who are eight and under, had her four-month-old with her, and still ran the shower seamlessly!  The other hostess who opened her home to us for the shower also has four kids.  It takes a special woman!

I'm also completely stocked in newborn-sized clothes now, inheriting many from J, whose babies are generally not as much on the small side as ours.  :)  Everyone who came lent a helping hand, and there were a lot of laughs and hugs.  Naomi came with me.  I love mother-daughter time with her.  Like most of the kids, she spent the majority of time playing in the backyard.  The hostess' backyard has no shortage of fun things for kids, including a swing set, a playhouse with a TV, and a bird coop.  Naomi was just there to play with other kids, and she had a great time and enjoyed the food.  All the food was good, and we had a perfect variety prepared by the guests.  One of the ladies brought homemade pumpkin scones (Naomi's favorite) and a bundt cake filled with homemade apricot jam.  A few friends could not make it, but we'd hung out recently apart from the shower and had a sweet time together.  I'm more comfortable with one-on-one time, but to be showered with love with a group of loved ones all in one place is a tremendous feeling as well.

The hostess read some hilarious parenting jokes, timely Scriptures, and we played a game naming baby animals.  We received a lot of clothing and generous group gifts.  J received a stroller and I received a backpack frame carrier.  It'll be handy for me, and I like the backpacks more than the front carriers for when they're a little bigger.  I'd already gotten so much from the shower Manny's mom threw for us.  I'd of course regretted giving almost everything away (the last bit going when I was pregnant and didn't know it!), but we received it back and then some.  Naomi keeps telling me not to make the same mistake and hold on to the baby items this time, but I think we're really done after three.    

I asked the ladies at our church not to throw anything for me, but they still got together to give us a gift card and will be setting up post-baby meals for us.  I feel really blessed.  It is a little harder not having family nearby, although I'd be hesitant to burden them anyway, but our church and friends have been like family to us.  What is it like to go from not having friends most of my childhood and not knowing my extended family to having friends and family like this?  Pretty darn amazing. 

Photos with the attendees.

Naomi and C.

Us with the hostesses.

Quiche--one of my favorite foods.

Homemade bundt with homemade apricot jam.  Yum!

girls night out / family time:

My friend O treated me to a belated birthday dinner last Saturday evening.  I'm always glad to connect with her when we can.  We just click well.  This may be the last one for a while, depending on how the babies eat.  When they were infants, the other two just did not want a bottle.  Naomi would rather starve for hours than take one.  I've never enjoyed breastfeeding, especially when we were out, but it's best for our babies and saves money, so I'll be trying again.  But I hope the occasional bottle works out this time so I could have more flexibility.

I really enjoyed my dinner of truffle fries, organic tomato bisque, and stir fry.  I'm not sure the family appreciated my garlic breath afterward.  Afterward, we had some Italian drinking chocolate at Lavazza.  It was good quality chocolate, and I have been craving chocolate a lot the past couple of weeks.  Best of all, it was a nice place to hang out and catch up.

Sunday we heard another great sermon by our pastor.  When I say great, I don't mean catchy or funny phrases or show, but I mean his adherence to the Word, his humility, and his understanding of people.  He's good about clarifying while still saying what needs to be said, and he addresses both newcomers to the faith and the wise elders.  We had another baptism as well.  I'm actually in awe of how so many people from so many different walks of life have come to faith, but I guess I shouldn't be.  The gospel is for everyone.  

After service, we were supposed to get Naomi some new dress shoes (her feet grow so fast!), but we decided to go to the park instead.  The weather was nice again, and I felt we needed some family time where we weren't running errands.  Manny kept telling me to sit down since I tend to try to chase after the kids.  The baby is occasionally bearing down these days, and the last thing we want is early labor without anyone to watch the kids!  Lucas took a nap after we got home, and Naomi went to her room, so Manny and I had some quiet time together.  Even though that meant Lucas would be up really late, I think we needed some bonding time as well.  So that was really nice.

Two of our Yard.house favorites--their truffle fries and organic tomato bisque.

Delicious cioccolata italiana.  I was trying to figure out why we look so huge (other than my being pregnant), and Manny pointed out we look like we're sitting at a kids' table.  Haha.

Slides are such great rewards for lots of climbing.

Naomi pushing Manny and Lucas. 

valentine's week / thinking about love:

Last Monday night, Manny came home early so that I could attend a friend's Dream D.inners event.  We all got to make three entrees for about half the standard price.  Even at half-off, it still costs more than what I would pay for the ingredients at the store.  What you're really paying for at the standard price is the convenience and time savings.  They do the prep work and clean-up, so you don't have to trim, slice, chop, shred, wash, etc., but you still can control what goes into the sauces.  That's good for me because I can leave out the onions, but their marinara and barbecue base sauces probably still had onion in them.  You put the meals in containers or plastic bags that they provide, freeze them, and defrost them in the fridge before heating.  I think the price is too high for us, and it's the type of American cuisine that doesn't require that much prep work relatively.  The food is only sold at 3 or 6 servings, so I went for the 3, but a 4-serving option would be nice.  The three entrees I chose were the pulled pork on French rolls, layered ravioli bake, and Tuscan steaks.  They change the menus every month.  All were pretty good, and the steaks were good for Valentine's dinner.  The same night, our church had also offered childcare for a date night, but I'd already committed to this.  It's nice that they did that.

It was Valentine's week for the kids at their classes, which meant a lot of treats.  I used to think the holidays were over-commercialized, and they probably are, but it's rather fun to celebrate them with kids.  We baked oatmeal M&M cookies with valentine M&M's, and they came out perfect.  I'm making so many oatmeal cookies these days, because for Christmas, my mom got us this huge box of oats from Costco.  I was super busy, so I decided against putting them in individual bags with ties and just served them on the plate.  We gave out Snoopy bookmark valentines this year.  Yes, Snoopy is my thing, and I may or may not have selected them without consulting with Naomi at all.  :)

I made the Tuscan steaks, shrimp, kale, and fried rice for our Valentine's dinner.  I was pretty wiped out from the day, but Naomi took over, feeling it needed to be more special.  She set the table, made placecards, and decorated it with silk flowers.  The only thing (or person) missing was Manny, but he had to work really late that night.  She was disappointed, but our kids stay up and wait for him anyway, so we all got to have a nice time together before bed.  Since we already have my birthday, Chinese New Year, and our anniversary in close proximity, it's good to turn around and do something for Manny for Valentine's for a change.

We had our usual classes, and I met up with a couple friends again.  I've been more lax on the photos, sometimes because the timing or situation isn't the best for a photo.  Sometimes the person doesn't want me to post his or her photo, and other times I just don't have my camera or want to pull it out and ask for the photo.  I also use my calendar more than my photos now to blog.  At one meet-up with a friend at a coffee shop (I still don't drink coffee), a man who appeared homeless walked and spoke very loudly and boisterously in our faces.  I decided to at least acknowledge him, but he wanted me to judge his dance moves or something.  Then he sat down by us, seemed to motion toward my friend's purse, and my friend asked to move.  Later the employees were off yelling about something.  I suggested this place because it's near the kids' Awana and usually fairly quiet when I meet up with friends.  Oh well.  I felt compassion toward the man, but I guess I also have to look out for our safety.  I didn't see him as the type to grab a purse and run, but you never know.

I also had another prenatal appointment.  The baby finally started really kicking at 33 weeks!  Almost there!  Lucas usually goes with me to the appointment but remains quiet yet very attached to the baby.  He is also progressing socially, but he still has that stubborn streak sometimes and can be demanding.  I talked a lot about love with the kids this week, and I think this is the first time Lucas has really responded.  I don't want a unilateral conversation; I enjoy hearing what's on their minds.  Of course, love should be celebrated all year, not just on Valentine's Day, but there's nothing wrong with a little extra effort and reminder on a special day.

I was reading in the news about violent altercations happening on Valentine's Day (in one, a woman attacked a man specifically over Valentine's evening plans).  I also saw an article about how divorce fillings increase right after Valentine's Day.  I don't know each situation, but I do know we shouldn't put too much stock in one day.  I don't think any amount of roses or dinners will save a relationship; it'll only happen with the will to persevere (but I do like flowers and dinner).  Some days will be better than others, and perhaps sometimes you won't feel like loving the other person at all.  In cases of domestic violence or threats on your life, I am the first to say get out.  Otherwise, in marriage, remember that love is not just a feeling.  It's a choice, an effort, a testimony.  However, you don't want to just get by and tolerate the one you're with; rather, you want to exercise love so much that you'll increase the health of the relationship.  God gives us the ability to do that.

I am still learning the balance between independence and dependence (as opposed to partnership).  Sometimes I'm too independent and want to do things on my own, because that's the way I've been most of my life, and other times I am concerned and even obsessed with getting Manny's approval.  That usually doesn't work out well, especially when I have the wrong expectations of what his approval will look or sound like.  Though our love continues to grow and evolve, I know he's seen me at my worst, and we've had to work through issues that surprised me.  You can't go back to those first innocent romantic moments and try to relive them, even though they were the seed planted.  Sin creeps in, your habits differ, you say and do things you regret, circumstances (like having kids) change you, and it takes hard work to get beyond it.  Despite that, I have hope and I very much believe in starting anew and changing for the better.  Hold on to hope, and good days will keep coming.  Bad days are inevitable, too, but even those are good for your relationship in their own way.  There's a lot that's easy to love about Manny, and I think we have some of the best conversations and a great family, but I also know our marriage wouldn't grow or last without Christ at the center.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.

The tables for preparing our meals.

Baked ravioli with a sausage sauce from Dream D.inners.  I didn't take photos of the other two entrees.  

Lucas very happy with his treat bag from Awana. 

Lucas rolling in the woodchips.  The weather was so lovely this lovely week!

Lucas likes to set up these balancing acts with his toys.  I accidentally kicked this over afterward, but at least I got a photo.

He was excited about his I Love Grandpa and I Love Grandma shirts.

Snoopy bookmark Valentines!

Chewy oatmeal Valentine M&M cookies!

Naomi and her classmates enjoying their treats.  She picked out cute hearts to wear that day.

Naomi's Valentine's table.  :)

I really do not like taking belly photos, but I made this exception to remember how Lucas tells the baby he loves him and kisses him every day.  He detests kisses, but he said he'll only kiss the baby.  I couldn't catch him in the act; he'd keep defaulting to the pout.  Excuse the dirty mirror--I haven't scraped off the Bendaroos residue yet.

pregnancy update and a whole lotta catch-up:

Pregnancy
Everything seems okay with the pregnancy so far.  I've gained 24 lbs now, which is the least weight of all my pregnancies at this point (32 weeks), but I also started off at a higher weight than with the other two.  :)   Lucas usually accompanies me to the appointments while Naomi's in class.  This baby moves with far less intensity and frequency than Lucas and Naomi did, even at night when I'm lying still and completely focused on the movements.  It causes me to worry, but the doctor just says to track how he moves compared to himself and not how it was with the others.  A couple of times when I drank cold water he would move, but what I ingest doesn't seem to affect him either.  Maybe it's just the position he's in or his size.  Maybe (hopefully) it means he's just a more mellow baby overall, because Naomi kicked me around the clock, and Lucas kicked me at the same times every day, and very hard.  I think they haven't changed much.  :)  Even at the ultrasound, the technician made me roll and even nudged him to make him move, but he didn't really care (thus why I have no cute profile images from the ultrasound).  Who knows how the environment affects the baby in the womb?  I've had a challenging and stressful pregnancy, though not as bad as with Naomi, and I craved spicy foods without an instance of heartburn.  I had a lot of heartburn with Lucas despite eating a mild diet.  Go figure.  I threw up for the first two trimesters, but at 7 months, the nausea and nosebleeds subsided, and I am able to eat more variety now.  I'm hesitant to ever get the flu shot again.  I don't usually get the flu or flu-like symptoms otherwise, and I felt awful for six weeks after this shot.  But I felt I ought to do it for the pregnancy.  Lucas and I got the shot and we were very sick for weeks.  Manny and Naomi didn't and were just fine, even with Lucas coughing in their faces.  I know there are many different views about shots, and I think some of that comes from varying reactions to them.

A lot of people have told me I look really small for being as far along as I am.  I feel pretty big, although even I forget sometimes I can't squeeze in a certain space or reach something.  Lucas talks to the baby all day, which was sweet in the beginning, but sometimes I almost trip over him.  I'm having a lot of pelvic pain, which can get pretty bad at times, but it subsides if I can sit or lie on my side completely still for a while.  I just can't find much time to do that.  A friend also told me a technique or exercise her nurse told her to help with the pain.  Overall, I'm doing fine, just a little nervous and excited and not entirely ready!

Friends

We had a busy past couple of weeks, and I'm enjoying visiting with friends before the baby comes.  One week, I met up with an acquaintance for coffee (I don't drink coffee, but there's plenty else on the menus),  Lucas had a haircut while Naomi was in Lego Club, Lucas and I met up with another friend for Vietnamese pho on a rainy day while Naomi was in class, and we had a playdate with a couple other families the day after.  I usually hang out with friends while the kids are in AWANA.  In general, we don't do morning playdates anymore, but it had been planned for some time, and it was the best time for all of us to do it.  At the playdate, one mom pointed out how amazing it is that we'll have almost a dozen children between us three moms in a couple of months.  We had to double up and squeeze in Naomi's schoolwork in that week, but we got through everything.

The next week, Naomi and Lucas had their usual classes, Naomi had fun at an evening community rec event, and I went to a baby sprinkle (not quite a shower, as it's not her first child).  They usually have a theme and have a jumphouse, games and crafts built around the theme, and pizza.  This was the first time there was no candy distributed, which was fine with us.   The sprinkle was wonderful.  The spread, decorations, favors, and everything was put together so nicely.  The guest of honor is adopting a boy from overseas, which is so exciting and inspiring (and requires so much patience and dedication).  The shower game was a quiz about how much we knew about their little boy and the details surrounding his adoption.  I didn't expect to win, and I didn't, but I did better than I thought I would.  It was nice to catch up or meet new people, and I'm always appreciate of Manny watching the kids after a long workweek.

Church
I was in the nursery Sunday so I missed the sermon and family time, but Manny filled me in completely.  He's really good about that.  I love to hear about how God is working in people's lives and through our church.  I like the nursery set-up.  If there's a fussy toddler, I've got him, and if there's a fussy baby, the main worker has him.  I do pretty well with the toddlers, but I think I have a general nervousness around babies.  Lucas did well in class.  The teacher said he sat there with a big smile on his face and wasn't wild'n out like last week.  He's unpredictable, but he's maturing.  The Awana leaders tell me he's doing better as well.  He's actually whispering now, and that's a step up from not talking at all!

An acquaintance, who walked away from the church, asked me what denomination we are.  I said we were just Christians, non-denominational.  He said, "Oh, so you're still searching."  I said not really; we just aren't looking for one.  I understand it's more comfortable to be around people with similar convictions and easier to put in practice those beliefs, but I don't know that anything in the bible says denominations equal like-mindedness or even that they're beneficial.  Perhaps there might be presumptuous for us to think that one is more holy than others (although of course some denominations and cults are probably unbiblical altogether).  I don't believe God favors people according to denomination, and we are only called to conform to Christ.  I said something about this to a Christian friend of mine who said, "We still think doctrine is important."  Well, so do I!  I get what her stance is, but I don't think I made mine clear.  I guess it's akin to different versions of the bible.  I do prefer certain versions, but I also read the other versions and see the need for having different versions that reach different people.  But at this point in my journey, I think identifying with a specific denomination would hinder the Spirit's work in my life.

I've started a shepherding/discipleship relationship with an older woman at church.  We'll be trying to meet monthly, and fill each other in through emails and conversations in between.  I'm excited about it.  I have had some rich times in one-on-ones with wiser women.

Parents' health
After several months of delays and red tape, my mom finally had a CT scan on Monday for a growth in her lung.  A recent mammogram also showed an abnormal lump.  The results of the scan should be back in 1-2 weeks, and they will determine if she needs a biopsy or other procedure.  My dad also has a colonoscopy or minor colon procedure (my mom didn't know which) in a couple of weeks.  Thankfully they are within driving distance of my in-laws, who have gone above and beyond to take care of them.  My mother cannot drive the freeway, and my dad isn't permitted to drive for the period surrounding the procedures.  They don't really have other family or friends around.  I'm not sure what they'd do without my in-laws.  I guess I'd have to figure out if we could pay for a medical transport.  My parents only lived to get by, so they didn't give much focus to savings, retirement, medical expenses, loan payback, and other financial needs.  Also, because they were self-employed for most of their lives in the States, there's not enough in Social Security.  My father was fortunate enough to have fairly good health and be over 65.  On the other hand, my mom, being under 65 and in poor health (yet not poor enough to qualify as a disability), does what we often did growing up--wait in long lines at clinics not sure if she'll even be seen.  The language barrier is really a huge challenge as well.  At least now they have emails and scanners so I can translate documents for them without having to be there.

The older kids playing Sorry!.

Baby M and her two sisters.  Sugar and spice and everything nice!

Lucas in the tent with A.

J. taught Lucas some soccer, which was so heartwarming I stayed later.

Naomi after a community rec class.  The theme was Neverland, and this guy was given the moniker "Peter Chan."  They're holding spyglasses that they decorated.  Naomi made friends who signed her spyglass.

One of the hostesses made this beautiful and tasty bundt cake.

A little sprinkle on my cactus will remind me of the sprinkle.

Dad is a musician, and they'll be doing a music theme for the nursery.