black and white ball:

We are back from our trip. We're rejoicing in safe travels, no major illnesses, rest, and good quality time with family. I'll post some highlights in the next few days. Naomi seems to remember a lot more than I do about the trip.

On Christmas Eve, we had our annual Christmas gathering with Manny's mom's side of the family. Always fun, always well-attended, always themed. This year it was a black-and-white party. This year's party kicked off with a magic show and balloon animals followed by the DJ. Naomi participatd in a children's dance contest. And wouldn't you know it--she won the 6-and-under category. The prize was a portable DVD player! Manny and I felt kind of awkward. We definitely weren't in it to win it, but I guess Naomi was. :) Manny's aunt has the video of the entire contest, but I caught a bit of Naomi during the warm-up beforehand (below). I don't have her breaking on video, but she does some clever freezes and spins. :)


Naomi's dress was a great ebay find for $9.


Naomi waiting patiently for her Rudolph. My favorites were the balloon crossbows.


Naomi pretending to be the balloon artist (and taking poor Rudolph apart).


Johnny, Leanne, and Naomi burnin' up the dance floor.


Cousin Carter won the 7-and-older category with some sweet moves, including walking like an Egyptian and the 6-step (the breakdancing move where you walk in a circle on the floor with one arm down).


Song is Word Up by Cameo.

joy to you:

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Whether you're snowed in or heading out, have been high on life or brought low, may you know the joy of Christ's birth this Christmas.

"happy christmastime!"

[Edited] Manny took Naomi to lunch and bowling with his coworkers today. She "bowled" once with some help, ate almost 3 slices of pizza, and gave a lot of high-fives. And the day wouldn't be complete without Naomi having a winning raffle ticket. She came in the door and said, "Happy Christmastime, Mami! I got a surprise!" I believe this confection tower penguin is the third thing she's won in her 2.5-year lifetime. Manny's manager remarked that Manny and I are so low-key...so where does Naomi get it from? :)


Don't worry--I know her front teeth are stained. The dentist said it's not decay, but probably just iron-drop or antibiotics staining. I'm not willing to put her under to get them fixed, but it's certainly a lesson in humility and dealing with judgment from others.

Last night we had a combined community group potluck and game night at G & A's. Naomi was chowing down on Chinese peppered short ribs, char-shu, lumpia, and chicken and rice. She really seems to enjoy her Asian foods. Sometimes I try to make her certain popular kids' foods, but she's just not into them. I can't get her to eat grilled cheese or PB&J, but she loves turkey and avocado sandwiches. Go figure. Maybe it's my cooking, but how does one mess up grilled cheese or PB&J?

Anyway, Manny and I played the Wii for the first time. Can you believe Naomi's even played it before us? I'm sore from pitching fast balls, surprisingly at 93-94 mph. Manny achieved the same with very little effort by flicking the controller, sort of catapult fashion. Nerd. :) Someday we'll get one, hopefully. Maybe after the PS2 dies. I enjoy seeing what friends are carrying these days for a gadget fix. I have yet to see an iPhone in person.

Well, we're getting ready for Christmas with the family. It'll be so joyous for the grandparents and aunt/uncle to see their little Naomi again (she's the first and only grandchild on both sides). She just exudes love toward them despite not seeing them very often.

even better trailer:

They take these down quickly. Hope it's still up when you view it. Ok, I care that they've added another Asian actor (Ken Leung) to the cast. Hey Cynthia, I did see "Charlie" in the other one--it'll be interesting to see who he turns out to be.

christmas in the park:

Chris visited again last weekend. Naomi wishes he could stay here permanently, I'm sure. Often when she talks about family, she names off Mami, Papi, Naomi, and Uncle Chris. After he and Manny watched I Am Legend, we went out to Christmas in the Park. After the drive there, it took another half an hour just to find parking. One lot was charging $25! We ended up paying $4, not bad, when a garage (one of four we tried) finally opened up. It was incredibly crowded. Probably pretty different from you Texas and Kansas folks' experiences with local festivities. :) We had a great time. There were cute animated displays, snow sprayers, uniquely decorated trees, festive lights and music, and a horse dressed as Rudolph (poor thing). We grabbed a couple churros; I almost forgot how much I loved them. I think I'm going to need a reminder every now and then.


Naomi watching the bears fish.


In front of the gingerbread house.


Chris.


The mounted police horses dressed up as reindeer. I turned off the flash just to be a little humane.


The Christmas train chugging along. I was disappointed we couldn't ride it. The rides were on the other side of the street, but not worth the wait this year.

thank you:

Thanks, Mare, for the delicious goodies and nametags! While I always love homemade gifts, there was definitely an exceptional amount of skill and care put into these. The peppermint bark cookies and cheesecake brownies were so good I almost cried. Not kidding. Naomi and Manny approve as well. :) The gift tags are all used.

in case you still watch lost:

It's scheduled to return in February. I am currently no longer watching any prime-time TV, though I got recommendations for Chuck and Journeyman (Kev, Mel). But it's too much effort for me to watch much of anything right now. It's not supposed to be work, right? But I do plan to see 'Lost' again. I haven't watched any of the Missing Pieces online (medical transcription course, can't wait till you're done!). I think they're up to 5 of 13. Here's the link to Lost: Missing Pieces.

And the trailer for the next season (do you see whom I see?!):

christmas photo:

Last Sunday we drove two hours north to take a portrait as a gift for Naomi's great-grandma (it's a surprise--no one tell her, please!). It was a photo of 16 of her 21 (at my last count) great-grandchildren plus the puppy, Raider, at 4 p.m. Naomi did surprisingly well the first half hour. Then the tiredness set in, she accidentally got knocked in the head, and she completely lost it. I've heard negative things about Picture People, and logistically I could see why, but those two photographers definitely deserve kudos for their efforts in keeping all the kids and the dog together. The photos aren't ready yet, but I figured I'd write about it.

It was a tough trip--Manny hadn't had a lot of sleep before the drive, and Naomi was not well rested, still a bit miserable from her cough. [graphic text warning] I got carsick on the way there and couldn't grab the bag in time. I caught some of it in paper towels, but everything else landed right in my lap. Thankfully it mostly dried before anyone would think it looked like I had a different type of accident. :/ Manny and I returned with colds. It was a pretty stressful day, but worth it to do a one-time collaborative effort like this for Manny's grandma.

"raised in a christian home":

We had lunch with some friends a while back, and when we asked Naomi to pray with us, one of them said it didn't matter because she wasn't saved. Actually, I think he's right. Well, except it does matter that she knows we don't exclude her when we are doing something that is vital to us. But, yes, on her end it's most likely just a formality for now.

First, there was this, where you could say, "It's so tragic, but it's no surprise--he was a troubled teen from a troubled background." But then came this one, and it's being reported again and again that he was homeschooled by devoutly Christian parents. Yet he was also a troubled soul with severe mental illness. I never knew him or his parents personally; this is just from what was reported. Some of you know I've witnessed that type of illness firsthand--it's like demon possession. Voices plague you and sound completely real, just like when you're dreaming. They can tell you the vilest things about yourself, the world, even those you love.

No one is guaranteed salvation through upbringing and circumstances. There are many people who have said they are Christian just because their family or friends were (like me) but really didn't know what they believed or why they believed certain things. There is simply no relationship with Christ. If and when Naomi comes to that turning point, it will be between her and God. We will only train her up in the way she should go (Prov 22:6), but she will not get there by not knowing anything else or by habit or by trying to please us.

We hope and pray that we will be an open example to her in how we deal with our own sins and our blessings, that we will point her to the bible as the true authority (and not just "because we said so"), and that she will always know we love her no matter what. We want her to come to us about anything, to come to us first. The most important thing is that her Christianity does not become an external thing, full of just following rules and doing what others do. Unlike me, she will be raised in a Christian home, and it may not be as clear to her as it was to me when life completely changed. That's why it must be internal and not external.

Anyway, I don't mean to lessen the impact of those shootings if I did. They were horrible tragedies, and I'm thinking about it constantly and praying for those involved. Sometimes it's hard to believe there can be so much hate in someone, but I'm reminded that we are all capable of that without grace.

christmas survey:

From rice bowl journals, via cyn:

5 - Name 5 favorite Christmas songs?

"O Holy Night," "Angels We Have Heard on High," "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," "Christmastime is Here" (the one from Charlie Brown), "O Come O Come Emmanuel." Also mentioning The Carpenters' "Christmas Portrait" album and New Edition's "Christmas All Over the World." ;)

4 - Name 4 gifts you plan to buy for others.

Music, books, gift cards, food (purposely not being specific).

3 - Name 3 things you would like for Christmas.

A good day with my side of the family, for no one to get sick, safety in traveling.

2 - What 2 places do you plan to be during Christmas?

Manny's parents' house and my parents' house.

1 - What is 1 important person, place or thing you love about Christmas?

Jesus Christ

bible reading:

One of my favorite chapters in the bible (even though chapters didn't exist in the original letter) is James 1. Within it are some of my favorite verses (2, 5, 13, 17, 20, 21, 22, 26, 27). I could read this passage over and over again. I really should, actually. It covers everything from God's attributes and His purposes in giving us His word and trials to what we must to each day in response. Trials and endurance, prayer when I lack wisdom, faith in prayer, sinful anger, bridling the tongue--story of my life. :) And then I appreciate more those who are in humble circumstances, visit orphans and widows, and are doers and not just hearers. All scripture is good, but I definitely feel attached to this passage.

tea party:

Naomi went to her first tea party in honor of Mikaela's fifth birthday. The other girls were 4-5, but her mom kindly invited us anyway. So many of the kids Naomi's age are boys; I really enjoy seeing her get to do something girly. :) It was a beautiful Christmas tea with tea sandwiches, fruit tea, the works. I don't have the skills for anything like that, so I love that Naomi got to have the experience. And I got to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while.






This is my favorite of Naomi's expressions.

naomi's first drawing is a...

Naomi's tried to draw happy faces before and paint "the ocean," but most of the time she scribbles and draws circles and pretends to write names. But this picture was different. It was large. It looked intentional. So I had to ask, "What did you draw, Naomi?" And she said, "Poo-poo going in the potty!" I saw those lines on the left and asked, "Is that poo-poo?" She said, "No! That's to flush the poo-poo." "Oh, that's the...flusher." (I honestly don't know what it's called--the handle?) Now if only life imitated art... Actually, she's doing very well with #1. It's #2 that's taking a little longer. At least from the drawing, I know she gets it. :)

photo time:

Nov 2007 Photos
(you don't have to sign in)

naomi raspy voice quotes:

Naomi appears to have a bad cold now. I hope we didn't get anyone sick. :( Last Wednesday we went for a playdate with Josiah, Thursday night we had a community group potluck and game night, yesterday morning we went to a breakfast and jewelry showing for a friend and were out all day while our brakes were getting fixed, and today after church we went out with M & A for lunch (wow, I haven't had Greek in a while; it was goooood). I keep forgetting to clean my camera lens (Naomi's fingerprint), so no photos. Anyway some more quotes in the meantime.

Me: We'll have to wash our hands when we get home, Naomi.
N: Yes, our hands is dirty. I touched the blanket, Papi touched the steering wheel, and you...you touched yourself, Mami.

N: Mami! Papi gave me an M&M!
Me: Huh? Why?
N: I promise I'll brush my teeth. [tilts her head cutely to the side--argh!]
Manny: Naomi, why did you tell Mami I gave you an M&M?
N: Because you gave me one!

Part II.
Manny: What's Mami's job?
N: Cooking.
Manny: What's your job?
N: Playing with toys and making a mess!
Manny: What's my job?
Um...eating. And playing.
Manny: What's Grandma's job?
N: Cooking tacos.
Me: What's Grandpa's job?
N: Eating tacos.

ddr and larissa:

I think the first time Larissa played DDR was at our old apartment. And now one of her songs is going to be in DDR Universe 2 releasing soon. It's called Breathing More (Remix). Fun news! I miss playing it.

I forgot to mention, our friends Jesse and Sandy got engaged (6:30 on a Sunday morning--love it). Congrats.

the world according to naomi:

Now that Naomi's 2 1/2 years old, she's really starting to come up with her own thoughts. It's time to start answering the tough questions kids ask, and also time to start dealing with lying. :( Of course, there are a lot of laughs as well.

She can't say double consonants or the letters "f" or "v" yet, but it progresses a bit each day. I have to play translator most of the time, and understanding her speech is one of the blessings of being at home with her. She used to throw terrible tantrums whenever I interpreted incorrectly.

She has been surpisingly adept in telling the difference between what's real and what's pretend. I saw her flapping her arms one day and asked if she was flying. She replied, "No, Mami, I'm just pretend fly." If she sees Sesame Street, she'll say, "Oh, look at the puppets!" I didn't teach her they were puppets, but she's seen a puppet show before. And fortunately for me she doesn't usually put play food in her mouth. That's not to say she knows there are actually people inside the costumes of characters she likes, but she might. On the flip side, things sort of have to be a certain way or she gets very disappointed, like she wasn't "really" roller skating and Mrs. Potato Head can't have the pieces in the wrong places (I thought that was the point? haha).

Manny: What's Emeril's job?
N: Cooking.
Manny: What's Mami's job?
N: Cooking.
Manny: What's your job?
N: Um...playing with toys and making a mess!

N [looking down]: Uh-oh. I pee-pee.
Me: Uh-oh, did you have an accident, Naomi?
N: No! I speak Chinese! I said, "Ni hao!"
Me: You didn't say pee-pee?
Me: No, I said "Ni hao!"

N: What's on the cracker, Mami?
Me: Oh, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, and flaxseeds.
N: Oh, yes. Papi seeds, Mami seeds, and Papi seeds.

[Seeing a picture of David and Goliath]
N [pointing at David slinging the rock]: Oh no! He not being nice!
Me: Well, he's obeying God. God is helping him be brave and not scared. Goliath is the bad guy, and David is protecting the other people.
N: Maybe Goliath not be mean anymore. Maybe he not mean next time!
Me: You want to forgive Goliath?
N: Yes!
A little more explanation, and that was that, but I totally understand why this would be disturbing for her after all the time I've spent teaching her not to hit.

N singing: Tinkle tinkle ittle tar, how wonder what you are, up above but not too high, like diamond in the sky. [It's actually "up above the world so high"]

N: I'm big now!
Me: Yes, you're growing bigger.
N: Now I can ride teacups!
We have no idea where that came from, but I guess it's true.

why we love our church:

I am thankful for my church. We went through a tough period, and I think we've come out of it so much stronger. The church truly parallels life; it is a living, active body that grows and goes through trials resulting in greater joy. As my bud Mel says, this is a church that says "we're a family" and means it. Family means everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, quirks, etc., but we have blood (of Christ) ties. Everyone has a function, and we are led with love (what Christians often call shepherded) by men who have a tremendous calling and gifts. And, of course, no family is perfect!

Here are some random reasons I love our church home. Don't read too much into what I say. It's hard to translate all these thoughts into words:

Mission focus. When we look at the great command that we've been given, it takes the focus off of ourselves.

De-programitization, if that's even a word. Many churches today tout some awesome programs, but being that we are so small, this was probably hurting us by scattering us in different and sometimes conflicting directions. I also felt sometimes the glory was going to man (I can't say I knew what was in everyone's hearts; maybe it was just me).

Gospel centrality. The moment we forget the cross, religiosity and self-righteousness take over. You know how some people say, "Yes, that church is good because the gospel is preached"? In the past, for me, that just meant that at the end of the sermon the pastor would say, "and if there are any of you here today who want to know more..." Yet now I say that to really preach the gospel is to truly tie it to everything, every part of the message.

Reverence of truth (including interpersonal honesty!). Why do we sometimes spew out so much spiritual knowledge, and then not live it out or only live it out at the surface level? I think it is a low view of God. It is a wrong view of who we are before Him. It is not dwelling on what is true. If He can already see who we are completely, why do we try to paint a picture of ourselves that isn't really us? Speak the truth to one another in love--that is a command often watered down.

Anti-externalism. Unity is not based on fitting a mold of the external, what preferences we have in common, but on our common life in Christ. We are encouraged to get to know each other's hearts and to be open ourselves. This begins to show us just how much we judge wrongly and takes us back to the gospel truths. A critical spirit is not discernment because it's not from God.

The teaching. Scripture is taught well. At the time when Manny and I just started attending, we didn't have a lot of people around that were our age (boy, has that changed!), but we stayed, and continued to stay, because of the word being handled accurately. Plus, we had like 10 sets of surrogate parents watching over us. :)

Pastoral/elder love for the congregation. Although I understand various people see degree of received love differently (and you have to factor in our own issues of entitlement, consumerism, and lack of thankfulness as humans), there has never been any doubt in my mind that the pastor and elders love us deeply, probably much more than we know.

Community Groups. Rubber meets the road. Everything above is manifested here. And this helps with the fact that the members are distant geographically (one thing I can't say I love).

Deacons. Awesome group of men who have to take care of us in so many ways unseen or taken for granted. And it's so encouraging to hear about the new deacons currently in training.

Everyone is a minister. We are all called to use our gifts. We aren't called to say a nice Sunday hello and then go on with our week. As the church went through a turning point, Manny and I were really impacted by this. I'm so thankful for all who set up, clean up, greet, record, and so much more, and all who give of themselves in ministries for the local community to help the poor, needy, elderly, incarcerated, unplanned, etc.

Compared to many churches, our church is really a small, humble church. We don't have the funds for our own building, but it has forced/allowed us to invest the funds where the need is now. We don't have that many programs to offer, but what we do have is still amazing to me. And for all the struggles, "we press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of Christ Jesus"--Philippians 3:14.

thanksgiving:

I am thankful for electricity. We don't have gas, so everything for us runs on electricity. On Thanksgiving day, we cooked, vacuumed, showered with hot water, lit up our little Christmas tree, and after we all sat down to enjoy our Thanksgiving at 4 pm, we took a family photo...and then the power went out (and Naomi fell asleep). We were okay with our flashlight, but what about the other people on our block who were still cooking? I wonder if we all had a turkey-cooking blackout. :) But without the electricity, we still were able to give thanks and enjoy each other's company and, of course, the awesome meal Grandma and Grandpa made. We called Manny's sister as well. And the power came back on after an hour. Naomi slept through the whole thing. :)


Grandma brought up a big surprise for the little cowgirl (couple days before Thanksgiving).


Naomi helping Grandma with (or helping herself to) her first gingerbread house.


Buddy and the family came over en route to their Thanksgiving gathering.


Oops, blocking Manny. :P Naomi digging into her mashed potatoes. :) Finally getting to use our china after 7.5 years!

family matters:

I am thankful for my in-laws. I hesitate every time I say "in-laws" because, aside from my mom, I'm actually closer to that side of the family. Well, a lot of them. How close could I get to all 200+ relatives? :) I love how Naomi gets a strong sense of familial tradition, security, and love from them. I love having emergency contacts, too (not kidding).

On Sunday we went to Sacramento to visit some family out there, including Naomi's great grandmother, great aunt, and several cousins. She doesn't have any cousins on my side to play with yet.

With Manny's parents here this week, that means a lot of reunions and a lot of family converging on our place. It was the best time for me to sprang my wrist, I'll tell you that. :) Plus I couldn't wait to bring the grandparents to Naomi's dental appointment (no cavities, yay) and gym class, and those experiences are now very precious memories.


Four generations of Hernandez at Logan's Roadhouse. Naomi is grumpy because Manny told her not to play with the fork.


With cousin Fran.


Bedtime story from grandpa. His renditions are the funniest.


Grandpa (and Uncle Gerard) got to join in on the gym class. :)

happy birthday, manny:

I am thankful for my husband--a spiritual leader in the home, a source of great wisdom, a devoted father, and a friend that loves at all times. Happy birthday!

The last couple years, we've put so much emphasis on Naomi during birthdays and holidays, it was probably about time I honored Manny a little more! We started off celebrating with the community group last Thursday. I made a carrot/pineapple cake with a little help from Naomi. :) On Saturday, his birthday, Naomi came in with his present and sang to him (video below). That afternoon, my in-laws showed up to surprise him. Manny opened some gifts and cards, and we all went out to dinner at Outback. It was an hour wait to even be seated--Naomi was so patient. I'm so glad that we were able to celebrate so much this year with our dear friends and family!


At the community group. Next to Manny is G, our group leader who also celebrated 4 months of newlywed-hood.


Happy birthday, Papi! (At the end, she said, "Open your present, likes Spot!"


At Outback with the family.

my diet:

I started my new diet this week. Basically, I have to have 1/3 of my plate be specified concentrated proteins (e.g., wild Pacific salmon, grass-fed beef, free-range eggs), 1/3 leafy greens or colored vegetables, and 1/3 specified starchy carbs (e.g., 100% whole grain, potatoes, whole beans). Snacks have to be healthful and include protein. Sweets are only allowed once a week, but I can have fruit. I'm thankful I actually do not have cravings for sweets, not even chocolate (except when I was pregnant with Naomi--whoa.) The hard part for me is making/having the veggies for breakfast and lunch as well.

So certain mixed foods like pizza, lasagna, casseroles, burritos, and certain stir-fry dishes are out. Since Manny can't eat onions or onion powder, we've been eating them less anyway. Others are still okay (like sandwiches or certain chow mein--yay), as long as I can be sure it's not sauce-laden and follows the thirds diet. Manny likes the diet and I like how it simplifies my lifestyle. Like last night, I quickly broiled some salmon with olive oil, rosemary, and lemon. I sauteed some green beans, nuked leftover brown rice, and cut some fruit. Clean-up was a cinch. Normally, I get a little stressed out with so much on the stove and counter while I'm trying to watch Naomi. At the same time, I like to cook because it's therapeutic (not because I'm a chef). I guess it all comes out in the wash. :)

I'm introducing the supplements one by one. First is probiotics, going from 1 capsule a day to 2 a day. Next is adrenal support pills, 3x/day. Then the vitamin/mineral powder 3x/day. Glycine 2 caps 3x/day. Lastly, progesterone with a complicated schedule.

How will my busy, absent-minded self keep track? The answer is...an Excel spreadsheet, of course! :) Any excuse to make one, really. :)

Food question: I've just been cooking our leafy greens by sauteeing them with olive oil, garlic, and sea salt. Any other suggestions that are low in fat?

holiday mommy & me:

Around these parts, Thanksgiving seems to be combined with Christmas. Well, they go hand-in-hand. :) Naomi always has a blast at the Mommy & Me events, and I just love that they're free. Older kids can probably get bored, but everything from the face painting to the cookie decorating to the balancing beam to meeting Raggs (PBS show sort of like The Wiggles) were firsts for Naomi.


Naomi was so excited to meet Raggs. She hugged him probably about 15 times.


Totally playing up her balancing act lol. She has a really good arm for beanbag tosses as well.


She kept running to the Nutcracker. Looks like a photo from Europe.


They just put up the tree.


She wanted a flower like "all her friends." The artist was pretty fast. I liked the spider that Miguel got.


Some of the kiddies showing off their painted faces. Something tells me my friend got a better shot. :)

free rice:

Angie posted this link to free rice. Every word you get right means 10 grains of rice to the hungry. I didn't realize it kept going, so I stopped at 610. I missed about 10 words. I guess I have a decent comprehensive vocabulary, but using the words correctly is a whole other story. :)

so that explains it:

We went to get my lab test results from a functional medicine specialist yesterday. There was a lot of useful information in the results, things that "standard" doctors haven't addressed (as I said, my ob said she'd have to wait till a third miscarriage before testing me, so we paid out of pocket to do this). Anyway, to start off, the apparent reason why I currently cannot sustain a pregnancy:

Here is a normal graph of hormone levels through a cycle. Notice the curves marked P (Progesterone) and Ez (estradiol). Progesterone increases and then plateaus so that the uterine lining allows for implantation. I basically have no such plateau. My body tries to increase the P, then it drops sharply. Coincidentally, my body temperature also does not rise or plateau as the bottom graph shows. So basically the egg or embryo cannot attach well. The second thing is the estradiol. My Ez "curve" is basically flat. Therefore, I do not have stable ovulation, perhaps sometimes nothing at all. So I have two major things working against me.



And remember how I said that I have had convulsions whenever administered anesthesia? Plus ibuprofen is the only pain killer I can take without severe nausea. I took an Aleve one time and fainted in the bathroom, knocking my head against the toilet. There is a biochemical compound that is associated with the ability to cleanse myself of toxins in the body. My levels show that my body is basically unable to detoxify these types of medications quickly enough.

And finally, cortisol, the stress hormone. This is the hormone the body releases in response to stress. Not only am I not near a normal level, but I basically make none. It was so low, the sum of all those zeros was "unable to be calculated." Most of the time people sleep and replenish cortisol by the morning and I don't. He said it's likely that while I was running on adrenalin and no sleep Naomi's first year, I burned my body out completely. I'm pretty much working myself to death, I guess. We were told this explains my constant fatigue coupled with the inability to have restful sleep when I can.

So I am being put on a strict diet and dietary supplement regimen for 3-4 months. The doctor is confident in the results. This means more waiting, but I trust in God's timing and pray this will help solve my health issues that I've had for 20 years.

my testimony:

Randi mentioned that she'd like to read some Christian bloggers' testimonies about how we came to know and follow Christ. Some have faced a life-or-death situation while others became Christians at a young age and never strayed. Either way God is glorified. The first time I shared my story publicly was about a year after I became a believer, during my baptism at Grace. I had written out this elaborate account of tragedy to triumph. It turned out that the others being baptized with me were mostly from the special needs group. They simply answered "yes" to questions with joy...and to God it offered the same glory, if not more, than what I had to say.

Every time I've shared my story, the quantity of details I've divulged has changed, but the conclusion is the same--the blessed assurance that I will never be separated from God because of His Son. So, here it goes. :) I know it's long. Edit: I've abridged it a little.

I was an outcast most of my childhood--the new kid, the chink, the dirty kid, the poor kid, the nerd, the one with trouble at home. We constantly moved. When I was 9, we were living in Houston, and life had hit an all-time low. I won't say specifically what was going on at home, but it was really bad, to put it mildly. At school, I was at the point where I accepted that I wouldn't have friends. If I boarded the school bus too late to get my own seat, the kids would push or kick me off their seat. Lunchtime was similar. Then I'd go home and cook dinner and try to do homework or think of a lie instead of saying I couldn't afford to do whatever project.

Being a latchkey kid, I did what I wanted. I kept seeing the bible school van come by our neighborhood. So one day, I got on--by myself. The kids there didn't bully me, but I still felt left out. By the end of my stint there, I was winning awards for verse memorization even though I had no bible. I don't know if I understood any of what I memorized. The other result from my time there was that I prayed "the prayer." The one where I read a piece of paper that said I knew I was a sinner and needed Jesus and please would He come into my heart and save me. I wanted to continue at the bible school, but we moved again.

One of our residential stops in California was on the border of Long Beach and Compton. It was not a safe place to be. At that point, my brother began to show signs of mental instability. To this day, it is the one thing that pains me most. We constantly had police cars and ambulances at our house. I prayed often, and I believed God did nothing. I still believed He existed, but I started believing there was no way to know Him. I did still identify myself as Christian, though.

In high school my home life was out of control. Bad things, again to put it mildly, were happening. I blamed my circumstances for the poor decisions I made. And I had straight A's, so that masked a lot of what was going on at home and inside me. By this time I disliked Christians. Hypocrites who can't get science or philosophy, I thought. I went out of my way to offend them like blaspheming in their faces and what not. Yet I still sometimes identified myself as a Christian!

When I went to college, I figured by escaping all the trouble in my life, except in some emergencies, I could finally be normal. Yet I really descended a downward spiral my freshman year. I finally had what I wanted--freedom--and it didn't offer me any joy or fulfillment. At the same time, two cushions I always had were also taken from me: good grades and a relationship I depended on for self-acceptance. When I was stripped of the circumstances, both bad and good, I realized I had no control over sin after all--it controlled me.

I went to a priest, did a confession, but the burden was not lifted. Shortly after my friend invited me to hear him sing at his church. That day the gospel was preached out of the book of Jeremiah (what, the old testament matters?). I'd heard and read it many times before, but I felt like it suddenly made sense. I went back to my dorm, dusted off an old bible, and opened it right up to Psalm 23. I wasn't searching, but I was called. I realized then it wasn't about having a moral code to follow or a safety net just in case there really was a fiery end, but that Christ could save me from myself and become Lord over my life right here and now, and that I would be with Him forever. This whole notion of God's grace and mercy and the Holy Spirit and the bible being the word of God made no sense to me before, and now it made perfect sense.

It's amazing going from the things no kid should witness to having this sort of normal life I have now. However, it's not that God promises us constant happiness, but He promises eternal joy, a joy I find to be ever-increasing, and because of that I've become thankful for everything in my life that led me to Him. That is a true miracle.

weekend / misc:

Rock, skate, roll, bounce! (allusion to a fave funk song of mine)


Limbo time!


It is really weird that I met Francesca when she was about Naomi's age, and now she's 12...is that how quickly Naomi's going to grow up? No!!! :)

Cousin Fran's birthday was this past Saturday at a roller rink. Naomi put on roller skates for the first time. The wheels were pretty tight, maybe to prevent toddlers from falling too much. Naomi had a good time. I guess she's at an age where she'll try anything.

Manny had to work earlier in the day. We went to drop something off, and Naomi was amazed by the sleek black-mirror building where Manny's lab is. "Wow, that where Papi works, Mami?" It's good I used to work for the same company (unintentionally). The way to certain buildings is so convoluted on some of the campuses.

Sunday we went out to our favorite little Taiwanese place with J, the one who just got married. I forgot to take pictures. Naomi was quieter than usual. She is normally a real chatterbox like me.

The time change has been to our advantage. Naomi is getting sleepy and waking up an hour earlier, and hopefully it will stay that way. Now we're not up so late and she is awake again to send Manny off in the morning.

photo time:

October 2007 Photos - pumpkin patch, M's birthday, Gilroy Gardens, festivals

minnie mouse, the princess, an earthquake, and two harvest festivals:

We went to a Wild-West-themed Harvest Festival Tuesday night hosted by a local church. They had free dinner and games plus Veggie Tales on a giant screen. We met some very nice people to boot (no pun intended). When the earthquake struck, the lights shook for a while. Naomi was in the middle of a digging game and didn't seem to notice at all. A couple frames fell at home but nothing else.

Last night we just made a round in our row of townhomes and met some neighbors. Afterwards we went to a different Harvest Festival and bumped into five different families who used to attend our church. It was a providential reminder that no matter what happened, we are all still brothers and sisters, and we love them. I missed getting a photo of Naomi petting the snake, but she scored a rubber snake from one of the games, so we have our souvenir.

One of Naomi's costumes was a bit ghetto (so over that word, aren't you?), but I'd like to say I was being resourceful. Haha. I cut her ears out of cardboard and construction paper and attached them to a bow. For the gloves, I cut some holes in some old baby mittens and drew black marks on them. She had the black tights and dress already for the holidays.

The costume for the night before was the Aurora dress Aunt Dolly got her (same as last year and her birthday) with a crown from Great-Aunt Quinka. It's great because she's been able to wear this so many times. I think it might be easier for me to dress a little girl at Halloween. Most boys I saw had character costumes. One teen named Chad had a noose around his neck (he was a hanging/dangling chad). :) I love creativity. Too bad I'm more resourceful than creative these days. :)

As for the candy, it's kind of easy at this point. If it's not chocolate (or a lollipop that Grandma gave her), Naomi generally will just put it in her mouth for a few seconds and then spit it out. And she's pretty good about not asking for candy. Today I told her that one time I ate too much candy and got sick. She said, "Maybe I get a towel for you to throw up in. Please don't throw up in my bed." :/


Grandma sent candy!


Collecting candy at the Harvest Festival.


Picking out a prize after pin the nose on the jack-o-lantern (sp?).


She got pretty mad about the flash, but it was worth it.


Playing a game at the Wild West Fest.

naomi at 2 1/2 and more quotes:

Today Naomi tried to befriend another child at a playground. The girl, almost 5, huddled next to her mother. Naomi asked "Are you my friend?" The girl frowned and whined to her mother. Naomi came to me and said, "Aw, she not want friends with me." Then she ran back and tried to say hi again. She did this several times until finally the girl gave in and played with her. I guess that pretty much sums up her social behavior at this age.

Naomi has been growing in leaps and bounds mentally and socially, as expected. She can identify all the letters now and is starting to say what sound they make (Leapfrog works for her). She counts to 15 on her own but doesn't understand what it means to count "to" a number. She likes music but sings her own versions of the lyrics. She loves sorting items, doing puzzles, making pizzas out of anything, drawing, jumping, climbing, running in circles, playing hide-and-seek, and performing. She still likes to pretend to be a cat and dress up. She hasn't acted up in Sunday School lately, which is great to hear.

She's progressing with peeing in the potty, but #2 is a whole other story. She doesn't like me telling people about it and often says, "Don't talk about me!" Actually, I probably shouldn't talk about it around her in a way she can comprehend. Teaching her Mandarin has been challenging. She almost always gets upset. No one around her speaks it, and even I don't speak it often myself. She can say a couple words and phrases, which at least gives her pronunciation practice. I've also tried Spanish but it's a similar situation where she's not immersed in it. But she did repeat "Gracias, mi amiga" to her little friend today.

Quotes:

While we were playing catch.
Me: Naomi, are you ready?
N: Give me one minute.
[picks up a flyer and pretends to read with her finger]
N: One day, Mimi went out too hot day. Papi go bye-bye, too. Mimi put on hat and sunglasses. The end. Okay, I'm ready, Mami.
(Today she told me a similar "story" in the car about a windy day and putting on her sweater.)

On the phone with the grandparents when Grandpa was sick. She came up with this on her own.
N: Don't eat too many tacos, Grandpa. Make you too sick.

Naomi sneezes. I don't respond.
N: I sneezed, Mami.
Me: Oh, sorry. Bless you.
N: Thanks, Mami. I needed that.

Playing catch. She misses catching it.
N: You have to practice real real hard.

Looking at the old PC.
Me: I have to give the old computer away.
N: You have to give it away, Mami?
Me: Yes, I can't use it.
N: You need to drink your milk, eat your foods, and grow big and strong...likes me! Then you can use computer!

Me: Can I have some of your corn, Naomi?
N [puts some in her hand, puts her hand behind her, and sings]: Happy birthday, dear Maaamiii...Happy birthday to you!
[gives it to me]


Loves to sort.


And sort and sort.


She likes to perform for everyone and for no one on the Winnie the Pooh stage in Barnes & Noble. Here she's singing, "Happy Friends! Ends! Ends!"

gilroy gardens with friends:

Gilroy Gardens was decorated for the pumpkin season this weekend. What better way to enjoy it than with Naomi's little buddy Josiah. :) And all the kids are still free. Oh, we're going to miss that. :)


The kids looking anywhere but at me.


Happy to have a buddy around.


Family on the train.


Baby Sofia looks like she's smiling!


Last ride.