lucas' first recital / women's lunch/ haiti bags:

We are all very proud of Lucas for completing his first concert-recital this past Sunday.  We climbed three sets of stairs in the pouring rain to get to the venue, but we thankfully made it in one piece without the songsheets getting wet.  The concert was hosted by Venture en Español, a Spanish-speaking ministry at a well-known church.

Lucas said afterward that he didn't feel nervous at all.  He was nervous in the weeks leading up to it, and I tried to helped him imagine how it would be.  I also prayed for him.  He had trouble following the cues in rehearsal, but when it was showtime, I couldn't go up there to help him.  One of his music sheets actually dropped on the floor during the concert, but he just kept going and caught up when he could and was glad to find the sheet finally.  I was very proud of him for persevering.  I think the experience was just too exciting and enjoyable for him to be too nervous.  He just began lessons a few months ago.  Who knew he'd already be in a youth orchestra?  I think Manny was the most surprised and proud; he'd never heard Lucas play before.  I did not even know until recently that all our lesson fees actually go toward providing instruments and the orchestra experience for underprivileged youth.  It made it that much better.   

Earlier that morning, we turned in our Christmas bag for a child in Haiti whom we sent gifts to last year.  He's 12 now and will age out after this year, just as our last recipient did.  The little girls usually get picked first, but for some reason I prefer to shop for the older boys.  We also contributed to the bags Lucas and Isaac's classes put together for a little boy and girl.  I love doing this every year.  The kids used to always do it with me, but they did not seem as interested in helping out this year.  I hope to educate them more about our partner center in Haiti and the country as a whole.

The sermon was good, pointing to the beatitudes ("blessed is...") not as just about character and attitude toward circumstances or fellow man, but really toward the gospel and Christ's work.  It's interesting that he talked about ideas that are known to be Reformed and Calvinist (5 solas, doctrine of justification and sanctification).  Our church has been historically Baptist-leaning but non-denominational, but I am noticing changes that would still point to non-denominational, but with some more Reformed ideas.  But above all that, our church is willing to work with other denominations, as the church at large needs more unity rather than division, and the preacher spoke about that as well.

Leadership and teaching are not my gifts, but the church is training up new leaders, and so I've facilitated a couple of women's groups and will continue to do so in the new year.  It was a good time, and we bounced around some good ideas, although I had to leave early for Lucas' recital.  

We were at the recital for over two hours, and Lucas and I wanted to stay till the end, but we had to leave for dinner.  I think Manny was tired as well, but he usually won't say so.  Regardless of how the day went, I'm very proud of Lucas, and I hope he will continue to pursue music, and maybe even be more willing to practice regularly.

Some items for a boy in Haiti, including socks and undershirts, toiletries, art items, hand-crank flashlight, dry food, and other small items.

At Hobee's for lunch, but I ordered a breakfast.

Lucas waiting during the rehearsal.

The room they performed in.  Manny and Naomi were in the middle, and Isaac sat with me in the back.

The group played a variation of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Allegro (this one), and Jingle Bells.

Solo - "Go Tell Aunt Rhody"

Lucas at the recital.  He really liked his clothes, which were hand-me-downs from our friends.  So thankful for used clothing!

making mom look good:

The other evening at Lucas' group therapy class, I thought I stepped into a dream.  Lucas made me look like a great parent (by societal standards).  I'm glad I was there to witness it.  I sit in on the class, but parents usually don't participate or interject unless asked to do so.

One of his classmates was sneezing, and Lucas kindly reminded him to sneeze into the crook of his elbow rather than his hands, "because if you touch things or people, your germs will get on them."  (Attaboy, Lucas).

And then on to a discussion about Thanksgiving.  I left out the other students' remarks to keep it shorter.

Therapist:  So what do like about Thanksgiving?

Lucas:  Apple cider. [He means sparkling]

Therapist:  I like watching the parade on TV.

Lucas:  My family doesn't watch TV.  We have dinner with candles.  I used to see Grandma and Grandpa.

Therapist:  Well, I watch TV.

[She showed the kids the part of Charlie Brown Thanksgiving where Peppermint Patty complains about Snoopy not making a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and asks them if she's being thankful.]

Therapist:  What are you thankful for?

Lucas:  I'm thankful today is my dad's birthday.

Therapist:  Well, say happy birthday from us.

Lucas:  Happy birthday.  [He thought she was telling him to say it since she's one of his speech therapists as well]

Therapist:  What about Thanksgiving are you thankful for?

Lucas:  Food.  Some of the food gives us muscles.

Therapist:  Oh, you mean like protein?

Lucas:  Yes.  God gives us the food we have.  We have to work and go to the store, but He's the one who gives it to us.  [You go, Lucas]

Therapist:  That's true.  What is your favorite food?

Lucas:  Green beans.

Therapist:  Really?  I thought you would say chocolate cake or something.  [Green beans are actually one of his favorite foods.]

So, Lucas essentially said he is mindful of germs, doesn't watch TV, loves his family, loves green beans more than sweets, understands nutrition, and is thankful to God for the bounty we have at Thanksgiving.  Wow, and there I was that very morning feeling like a failure of a mom and that I didn't know what to do with him anymore.  Thank you, Father God, for giving me some heart encouragement when I really needed it.  I guess this is much better than the time he went to class and told everyone that I was mean to him for no reason.  He's doing well in his group class, and it's been eye-opening for me seeing other children with completely different personalities behaving the same way he does, which reminds me that he his conditions aren't uncommon and can be improved with effort and without medication.
 

a low-key birthday for manny:

I daydream sometimes about throwing Manny a huge birthday party, but he's just a pretty low-key kind of person, and I usually am, too.  Plus, I don't have my own income right now, and I don't think he'd want to spend a lot on himself.  For 40, he didn't want to have a party or do a special trip.  His 50th isn't too far away.  Maybe he'll warm up to the idea in the next several years.

His parents called in the morning, as they do pretty much every year, which is really sweet.  The kids waited for him to come home from work, yelled "Surprise!" (though there wasn't any), and gave him their cards.  We don't usually spend money on presents for each other, so Naomi made some stenciled artwork for him that said "Best Dad Award," and they all made cards.  I have been really wiped out lately, so I'd no energy for blowing up balloons or plastering the walls this year.  Instead, I just put up some LED lights I bought for cheap, which looked pretty nice and are now up in Naomi's room.  

Manny requested what we called a "Better Than Chocolate" cake (usually it's called Better Than...um...Procreation?), which isn't too hard to make.  It's an old school cake (artificial and processed ingredients), but I'm glad he chose something he likes.  I followed the online comments about how to not make it so soggy, and I guess Manny actually wanted it to be soggy.  Lesson learned!  Isaac doesn't like toffee or gooey caramel (texture-sensitive), so he couldn't eat it.  The other two loved it.  It would be the first time I did not make some type of lemon cake for his birthday, which he used to request and became sort of a tradition.  I'm happy to do something new, though, or I guess something old but new to us.  

This is also the first year I did not make Manny any kind of photo book or home movie DVD for his birthday.  I told him ahead of time that I'm too burned out lately.  It's more complicated now with the laptops moving to different technologies and software.  I am hoping to catch up again next year; I've just little to no time to really concentrate on projects these days.  I've also become increasingly forgetful.  

We were planning to go out today for Manny's birthday, after Naomi, Isaac, and I went out to run a few errands, but it didn't work out.  We did order some shawarma and kebabs for dinner.  Manny likes to keep it simple, though, and he's just happy to have us around wishing him a happy birthday.  

Welcome home, Papi!  I know--the blind is missing, but one of the kids broke the connector, so there's no fixing it right now.

Naomi's painting.

Lucas could not stand the smoke from the one birthday candle, and Isaac was just full of glee.

Cards from the kids.  Lucas has very neat handwriting, and I liked what he wrote. 😊

lucas' first strings rehearsal / naomi's friendsgiving:

Lucas has only been playing for a few months, but he is ready for his first recital!  This week (I don't usually say the day because I don't like to publicize our schedule), after dropping Naomi off for an early Thanksgiving with other girls from her small group, we headed to Lucas' first group rehearsal with other beginning orchestra students.  The problem was that with traffic, so it took an hour to get there.  Also, I did not know the church they were practicing at has a very large campus on a hill with various levels and buildings.  I didn't know where to park or anything, and it was very dark.  The teacher's video for how to get to a nearby spot wasn't working, and he wasn't answering his phone, so I told the boys to just trust and run while I prayed.  We ran through two buildings and up three flights of stairs and ended up exactly where we needed to be!  It turned out the room number he gave us was incorrect, so if I'd looked for it, we would have been more lost.  We were only five minutes late.  I truly believe God takes care of us even down to the last detail.  Why would the God of the universe care about us little specks of human beings and getting to a music rehearsal?  I don't know either, but I know He does.  I would believe that even if we hadn't found it right away.

Lucas was nervous, and he had a hard time following what the instructor was telling everyone.  He forgot the order they were playing, and he got lost on the first song, but he persevered and caught on.  He thought I was going to be disappointed, but I gushed about how proud I was of his hard work, and he told his group therapy class about that (how proud I was).  I think it was a great experience.  Just two days before, I was seriously considering dropping violin, because it's like pulling teeth to get him to practice, and the timing and drives are always inconvenient.  He loves it, and it was his idea to start the violin, but he doesn't like practicing at home.  But sometimes the best things take the most work, so I have to demonstrate the perseverance to him as well.  

A friend drove Naomi home for us.  Manny got home a little before she did, so I'm glad she was safe.  I underestimated traffic at that hour and the boys and I didn't make it home until almost 9 pm.  She had a nice time.  They had chicken instead of turkey, but all the fixings were traditional.  She loves a good party!

The group playing Allegro (I fixed the link).

Proud of him.

Walking back.  The boys liked this part of the campus.

That bright blue circle near the center is the moon.  Photo doesn't do it justice.

park day / all saints' party:

We went to a park day for our homeschool group last Friday afternoon for Lucas and then rushed over to a class and then we went to our annual All Saints' Party.  At the park, the boys played alongside the other kids, but not really with them.  It was my hope that over time, Lucas would become more familiar with some of the other kids, but it seems like a different group of families each time we go, so it might take a little longer.  He's told me and Grandma that all his friends moved away.  A couple of them did, and a couple of others he just never saw again and was really sad about that.  I think if we can arrange to make the Sports Days next year, it would help as well.

It was a long day, including Lucas taking Isaac for a run around the perimeter of the park, twice.  I told Isaac he didn't have to run it, but he's always determined to keep up with Lucas.  Isaac fell asleep just before we arrived at the party since it was a long drive.  I had to hold him, but he woke up later unfortunately to the smell of garlic from my dip.  He and Manny have a strong aversion to the smell.  Isaac actually jumped up, cried about my food, and ran a few feet away with his eyes still not fully open from the nap.  He has sensory issues with food, which I'm still trying to work through.

Naomi did not have as great of a time as previous years.  Her friend had sprained her ankle and had to stay in the back room for most of the party.  She declined all offers to dance; I'm sure it feels awkward now at her age.  They always have quite a spread of finger foods.  Lucas has been into red bell peppers lately.  The kids' favorite part was probably the ice cream sundae bar.  They served peppermint and mint chocolate ice cream with special toppings like gummy worms, candy corn, syrup, and whipped cream.  I had a bad headache, but talked to as many people as I could before I left.  

I met a woman whose sister-in-law is a friend of mine.  She told me she had sought out one of the hostesses of the party for counseling when she had depression.  This struck me, as I feel I am seeing signs of depression that I haven't had since Naomi was born, and I've gone to her for advice many times myself.  It's not related to any circumstances, but I definitely feel like something is wrong with my hormones and mood.  I'm laughing one moment and weeping the next without any trigger or reason, and it's no longer just at a certain time of the month.  I did read somewhere that children who had childhood trauma have increased physical and mental ailments around my age, so perhaps it's just related to the past.  

I talked to Manny about it, and he was understanding (except when I lashed out sometimes), and hopefully we can work together make some changes in the near future that might help.  I did try St. John's Wort, but I don't really see much of a difference when I take it.  However, certain foods seem to make me happier.  It's interesting that I looked up some foods that help serotonin levels, and there they all were--avocados, eggs, tofu, salmon, turkey, chocolate, nuts and seeds.  I haven't looked further into it to see how many are proven, but anecdotally, when I feel down, I crave those foods.  Due to my health issues, I can't drink wine or caffeinated coffee, but I completely understand why so many of my mom friends say they feel like they need it sometimes (or every day, in the case of coffee).  

We got to the park first, so Lucas got to have the swing to himself.  Why do most parks have so few swings?

Having fresh snacks and coloring.

Isaac still out.

Peppermint ice cream?  With gummy worms?  He doesn't really have a sweet tooth, but you can't go wrong with this.

With little R. who liked copying whatever Isaac was doing.

special snowflake:

After the portraits, Manny took us to Snowflake, the kids' favorite Taiwanese cold dessert place, for a very special treat.  We haven't been there in over a year, but Isaac kept asking about it all the time.  Naomi actually got a tofu pudding and really liked it.  We split a giant mango shaved ice with popping boba (Isaac's favorite), mango cubes, and I think lychee jelly.  Manny also got a pina colada boba, and Isaac nodded and gave the waitress the thumbs up to indicate his approval of putting the mango boba into Manny's drink.

I splurged and got rolled ice cream for the first time ever.  It's new to their menu, or at least new to us.  I got the black sesame, which is a flavor I love.  But the rest of the family did not share in my enthusiasm.  I know Manny is bewildered by how we eat beans, tofu, and sesame seeds as dessert, but it's what we know.  Thankfully I have Naomi, who enjoys chrysanthemum tea, wintermelon boba, tofu pudding, and moon cakes (as well as tamales, guacamole, and enchiladas) as much as I do.  Lucas didn't really have anything at all.  He was more interested in and focused on eating tacos later.
When almost all of the mango snowflake was gone, Isaac said, "Does anyone want the rest?  No?  Okay" and ate the last bit.  lol  Just between you and me, the place is a bit overpriced, but it's the only place around us like it, so going once or twice a year is okay for me.

We should have had this at the photo session so she'd smile more!

Now this is a dessert.

family portraits:

We took our annual portraits last weekend.  The JCPenney studio near us closed, but I saw a groupon and scheduled an outdoor session with them for a decent price.  I scheduled it for the afternoon so that I could get a trim in the morning and we wouldn't have the sun in our faces like last time.  I thought this photography duo did a better job than our previous outdoor groupon photographer.  I was so very thankful for the weather, too.  There really wasn't another weekend we could do it this year.  Isaac was actually the most cooperative and smiley, even though he'd been throwing tantrums earlier in the day.  Naomi did whatever she was told, but she wasn't in a super smiley mood.  Lucas had stepped on goose droppings, and we couldn't get it completely off his shoe, so he went from being mostly well-behaved to being over it before we even began.  I am surprised and thankful we got a few decent photos.  I really did the best I could coordinating this despite us all having a lot going on right now.  Manny made some comments about how it, which usually makes me want to give up like I did with coordinating vacations, but we're both learning that sometimes we have to understand the other person's heart and not just take the words at face value (or with the worst connotation possible).  Yep, almost 20 years together and still learning!  With Naomi being a preteen; Lucas having special needs; Isaac being a strong-willed three-year-old; and Manny's disappointments, I do sometimes want to throw in the towel on the family photos.  But a family is what we are, and our love in Christ triumphs, if we are willing and humble ourselves.  Photos capture a moment in time you'll never have again, so for now we are doing this every year, as long as we are able.  

I don't think we've taken a professional photo with just us since our wedding!

Yes, our little Naomi is no longer little!

It was pretty hard for Lucas, but he hung in there and gave us a smile.

Isaac was very nervous trying to balance on this fence.  I think I was more nervous!

I had to cut his hair two days before, and he kept squirming around and I was very tired, so it came out pretty uneven.  But little boys can get away with that.

I think this would have been a great shot, but it was a pretty uncomfortable pose.

Trying to pick which one will go on the Christmas card.  This one feels a little stiff.

Maybe this one?  But the spacing's off.

I actually like this one the most, but Naomi's behind the fence.

I didn't know what to do with my hands.

Big height differences.  Will be interesting to see if/when the boys outgrow her.

star party:

Naomi's school had a star party last week, where we got to learn about astronomy and have some Mexican food cooked by the Culinary Arts class.  They had warned that food ran out at the last event, so we waited in line for about 40 minutes just to make sure we ate.  Half the time, Isaac was asleep on my shoulder, and the other half, I was trying to keep the boys apart so a fight wouldn't ensue (usually started by Lucas' annoyance with his brother).  I'm not going to sugar-coat it--it is very difficult for me to manage three kids at the end of the day.  When I had two kids, I didn't know how moms with three or more kids did it, and maybe I still don't.  :)  Naomi sometimes tries to help, but the boys are older and less inclined to listen to her.

Isaac only had the chips, but the other two really liked their tacos al pastor, rice, and Mexican hot chocolate.  Isaac seems to have some kind of sensory issue with smell and taste.  Sometimes he eats something and then suddenly it loses all its flavor to him.  They had three large telescopes set up, but because of the lines and Lucas being nervous about looking up at the dark sky, we just waited in one line where we got to see a twin cluster of stars.  I've been an avid stargazer since I was very young, but I don't have much opportunity to do it these days, so I felt blessed to be there and have the sky be the clearest it's been in a while.

One of the many signs up for the event.

Our delicious dinner.

On the left, you can see part of the long line to the front, where the food was being served.

Not sure if you can see it, but this is our telescope.  I didn't want to have the flash on.

Cool night.

Isaac made a little paper tube telescopes.

treats:

Last Saturday, Manny and I took Naomi out separately.  We both decided we needed some quality time with her where she wouldn't have to prefer the boys when it came to our undivided attention.  Manny took her out for breakfast, and later in the afternoon I took her to get some boots for the winter and get some boba.  I also bought some dim sum for myself and Manny, because once in a while we can treat ourselves, too.  I won't get into the details, but it's important for us right now to build up our relationships.

On Sunday, we had an integrated service at church, where the kids joined the parents for the entire service.  Some of the songs were sung in both Spanish and English.  They highlighted some of the programs in our neighborhood center, including baile folkorico.  Some of the kids performed.  Lucas' Mexican-American friend got baptized as well, so I was glad Lucas was awake to see that (he'd fallen asleep at one point during service, like last time).  The preschoolers and younger were in their classes.
On Monday night, I took the kids out for trick-or-treating, but only around the block, because we had to make it back in time to meet up with Naomi's friend at her house, and I also wanted to stay safe since Manny could not join us.  We met up with Naomi's friend A. after her ballet class at another friend's house.  Naomi's friend was very polite, and she spoke to me in Mandarin out of respect.  She did not complain even though we'd only gone to a few houses before the boys got tired.  It turns out she is a Christian, too.  I had not planned on bringing the boys or chaperoning, but the other parent couldn't make it.  Her grandmother felt it was a bit late when we left (it was past 8), so I told her in Mandarin I'd have the girls back fairly soon.  I'm not as fluent anymore.  Naomi said she could understand a little of what we were saying, although I was never able to get her to learn it well.  It's not easy to pick up if you don't hear it regularly.

Reformation Day was Monday as well.  I usually just talk about it to the kids and have not felt compelled to turn it into a fun day, but I read a few ideas online, and I might at least do something a bit more visual and hands-on next year.  Or perhaps wait until Lucas reaches the "Romans to Reformation" year.

Father-daughter breakfast.  She really liked her avocado toast.

Chrysanthemum show at the mall.  Lots of Chinese people.

Folkorico dancers performing at church.

Mummy dogs.  We don't usually do mummies or hot dogs or crescent rolls, but I decided to just for fun.  Lucas and I have been talking about mummies, Egyptian and otherwise.  I'm not a big fan of mummies, but for him, education is better than avoidance.  

Going out for part 1 of trick-or-treating.  I was nervous to go out without Manny, but a lot of neighbors were out.  

Naomi with her friends for round two.  The boys were tired, and one of the girl's grandmother said it was late, so we had to end our run after just a few apartments.

dress-up / harvest festival:

Naomi has two weeks of dress-up days at school.  When I was young, I never had costumes for school events, and it made me stick out like a sore thumb.  Thankfully, at Naomi's school, not everyone dresses up, and it's not a big deal.  Of course, Naomi likes to participate, so she wore at least a t-shirt to follow the theme each day.  Most of those t-shirts were actually mine.  She doesn't get into buying licensed and themed t-shirts, but her mom does.  :)  For Star Wars Day she wore my Star Wars tee.  For Disney Day, she wore my Incredibles shirt.  For Superheroes Day, she wore a Marvel shirt I bought years ago.  Last Friday's theme was tie-dye, though, so she wore her tie-dye unicorn shirt.  I definitely don't own any tie-dye.

This week started with Make Believe Monday, and the students could wear their Halloween costumes to school, except without face coverings or accessories.  This week also has Tacky Tuesday (but she had a field trip so she didn't dress up), Wake-Up Wednesday (pajamas), Twin Thursday, and Flag Friday for the election.

Naomi was a rainbow unicorn this year.  We took her friend to our church's Harvest Festival.  Another friend was going to come, but ended up having to volunteer at another event.  Manny had to work and was unable to join us.  Thankfully, Naomi is old enough to be on her own, so I only had to watch the boys.  Lucas didn't really want to do much.  He didn't feel like getting candy, but they had carrots, celery, and fruit, which he liked.  We also purchased real Mexican food from the Baile Folklorico moms, and it was so good.  I wish I could have tried more dishes, but I couldn't spend too much.  Isaac had the time of his short life.  They really did a great job this year bringing back our Harvest Festival.  It wasn't as crowded as previous years, maybe because they moved it back to Friday night, but it was still well-attended.

Lucas had a Halloween party at his group therapy class last week.  They combined with the older kids' class.  Lucas could barely move or see in his ghost costume, so we were both pleasantly surprised he was able to play musical chairs at all, let alone get third place.  Isaac was fascinated by the big purple wolf, although when she took her costume off, he was a little freaked out that she "dropped her hand" and took off her head.

Isaac with his new friend.

Lucas did well in musical chairs.

Isaac eating with his friend.  He was a little concerned that she fell apart.

Isaac wanted to be a firetruck and not a fireman, but he didn't want a boxy costume.  So he wore his firetruck tee, and I put blinking LED lights on his hat.  You can get the lights for cheap online.

I borrowed Naomi's Minnie Mouse ears, and she wore a unicorn hoodie.  I did have the polkadot skirt, too.

Naomi and her friend, who also borrowed something from Naomi for her costume.

Isaac enjoying his banana, and happy to see Dots again (I had to take them away--too sticky).

Isaac won all the ball shooting games.

Lucas enjoyed the bounce house.

And he really enjoyed the tostadas de tinga.

Three for three.

Glow-in-the-dark maze, which no longer fascinates Naomi and is too easy for Lucas.  Glad I still have Isaac to be as mesmerized as I was!

Lucas really liked this glow-in-the-dark room, especially the Minions.